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My son and his friend do triathalons. They aren't world class, but they're not bad. They love to bike and were talking about their 10 mile time trials.
Since I just got a Wired ebike I decided to go with them to see how fast it would handle the course.
Up until around 2000, the holy grail was to beat 18 minutes for a 10 mile time trial.
World record now is 16:35.
Want to guess the time for the Wired?
15:43. About 38 mph/61 kph.
I'm almost 76 and was hardly out of breath thanks to the magic of electrons.
To make matters worse, my son (an engineer who works on stuff he can't talk about) told me he could boost the Wired's speed. (No thanks.)
I thought of submitting my time to the world-record-keepers of the Sacred-Bicycling-Time-Trials. (Shouldn't a world record be recognized?!!!!)
I can imagine them looking at my outrageous time and falling out of their chairs laughing at the moron who thought they'd be foolish enough to believe such absurd self-deception.
Of course, being self-delusional, I will continue to believe that I had destroyed the world record. Those disbelievers be damned.
And because beating world records gives me an endorphin rush, (much like shopping) I'm pretty sure I'll become addicted to beating world records. Caution will be thrown to the wind. I'll take the boy up on those modifications. (safety be damned)
That world record will plummet incaustiously.
I'll imagine hordes of envious commoners groveling-and admiring my greatness.
Before long, I'll be regaling cashiers with my superiority. I'll sing my praises to whatever lucky passenger ends up trapped next to me on the bus.
If only I could get pedal assist for Wordtwist.
I could become the most superiorest word-process giant in the land.
And I could sit here believing I was... Oh, if only... just to have some pedal assist for Wordtwist.
Is that too much to ask?
Since I just got a Wired ebike I decided to go with them to see how fast it would handle the course.
Up until around 2000, the holy grail was to beat 18 minutes for a 10 mile time trial.
World record now is 16:35.
Want to guess the time for the Wired?
15:43. About 38 mph/61 kph.
I'm almost 76 and was hardly out of breath thanks to the magic of electrons.
To make matters worse, my son (an engineer who works on stuff he can't talk about) told me he could boost the Wired's speed. (No thanks.)
I thought of submitting my time to the world-record-keepers of the Sacred-Bicycling-Time-Trials. (Shouldn't a world record be recognized?!!!!)
I can imagine them looking at my outrageous time and falling out of their chairs laughing at the moron who thought they'd be foolish enough to believe such absurd self-deception.
Of course, being self-delusional, I will continue to believe that I had destroyed the world record. Those disbelievers be damned.
And because beating world records gives me an endorphin rush, (much like shopping) I'm pretty sure I'll become addicted to beating world records. Caution will be thrown to the wind. I'll take the boy up on those modifications. (safety be damned)
That world record will plummet incaustiously.
I'll imagine hordes of envious commoners groveling-and admiring my greatness.
Before long, I'll be regaling cashiers with my superiority. I'll sing my praises to whatever lucky passenger ends up trapped next to me on the bus.
If only I could get pedal assist for Wordtwist.
I could become the most superiorest word-process giant in the land.
And I could sit here believing I was... Oh, if only... just to have some pedal assist for Wordtwist.
Is that too much to ask?