Final Goodbyes

[bwt1213]

We'd planned things for our 59th wedding anniversary in August, but that will never happen now. I held her hand as she took her last breaths, free of pain at last. I am devastated. Our daughters were with us at the end and were my rocks for the last several weeks. I know many have you have dealt with this already, but this is really hard. I am not playing as much, and if you were wondering why, now you know. May you and your loved ones live forever, happily ever after.

[Seamonster]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[Boulevardiere]

I'm so very sorry, too. Wishing you comfort and peace wherever you may find them.

[RussDNails]

My sincere condolences.......

[dannyb]

So, so sorry.

[Spike1007]

I'm very sorry.

[Naboka]

With so much in life words are so meaningful and useful. But for what you experienced, words fall short, inadequate sounds and scribbles that can never reach the depth of feelings with such a tragic loss. Reading what you wrote floods my mind with a pain for which I have no words. Though the loss is not technically mine, we seem to have an impulse to carry the burdens of our fellow travelers, to share with them.

Having turned 77 yesterday, I realize the final act is coming much sooner than I'd like. So much to do. So much to experience. If only the play could go on forever. But, it can't. For any of us.

Why?

I will never completely understand. All we can do is enjoy the best, rise above the worst, and attempt to find peace with that which we can't control.

Conservation of energy suggests there is conservation of consciousness. Believing that we as souls persists brings some solace. Perhaps some day we will learn and understand the physics of the spirit.

When my brother died last year, I was sitting at the computer and felt his presence and knew he had passed. Shortly after, his daughter texted with news that he had. Experiences like that happen so frequently that believing death is the end seems ill considered.

It seems that people who have passed are there for us spiritually as much as we let them be. If that is incorrect, I care not. What matters is that we continue to love, to let that love fill our lifes, to give as much love to others as we can. Love isn't finite, and never runs out of it. In all things we should be as generous as we can afford to be. And with love, our bank account is endless.

[suddeneyes]

I am so sorry. We are dealing with long-term illness in my little family, and it is terrifying. May her memory be a blessing.

[jbud1980]

I am so sorry for you loss. My sincere condolences to you and your family.

[bwt1213]

Thanks, everyone. I appreciate all the kind things you've said, and I really mean that. And I know you all have either already gone through something like this, or will.

Some people drink too much when bad things happen. Some take to their beds and stay there. I write poems, usually bad ones and sometimes mediocre ones, but I keep writing them anyway. But this one made me feel a little better, and when something bad happens to you maybe you will find comfort in it. I showed it to my wife's last doctor, and he asked if he could have a copy to post on the wall of his office so maybe it's not another mediocre effort. And at the end, you will all know my real name.

A Family Portrait




Days and days we ran in sun,

Spattered light, jumped and spun.

We had good luck so never knew

Our elders saw the world we drew.




Fortune favors few, we found

As life advanced, threw burdens 'round –

So raised our own on sunlit days,

Happy times and simple ways.




A child can't know how life is paid

How time is spent, nor work is weighed;

They draw our love, in warmest gold

Their elders buy, however sold.




When comes the end, and we are gone

Remember well how life was drawn –

With hugs and kisses, light and joy,

Olden things, a tattered toy.




When our life's a forgotten thing

And our last sigh the song we sing

Forever to our lost sunlight

Our picture stands, forever bright.



By Bruce Tonkin for his wife Patricia -- whose song ended 6-16-25, far too soon.

[jbud1980]

I have to admit that I've never been into poetry. I've never studied it, never really read it, but this is beautiful. I wish nothing but the best for you and your family during this trying time. Again, my deepest condolences.

[adiposeur]

I am so sorry for your loss, Bruce.

[JedMedGrey]

So sorry for your loss Bruce. I am glad that your daughters were with you and Patricia, and I'm sure she was also. Your love will continue, your daughters will carry you through. It will be hard, it will get easier, then it will be hard again when you least expect it. Let yourself grieve, and mourn, and cry and be angry, let yourself remember the good times and the laughter you shared, let yourself laugh. Let yourself be however you need to be, don't let anyone tell you how you "should" behave, or feel, or act. Let yourself lean on your family and friends. Let yourself be alone when you need to be. Go to sad movies and cry, to happy movies and be happy, funny movies and laugh. I know you will keep Patricia in your heart always. Share your memories of her with your daughters - those will be precious to them. <3

[bionicflutist]

My heart breaks for you. Thank you for sharing your beautiful poem.

[ThunderRock]

Sorry for your loss bruce. Seems like tragedy touches everyone more than once in our lifetime. I have twin 37 yr old daughters. 10 years ago one was in a near fatal auto accident because of alcohol.. She was left with two brain injuries and multiple broken bones. 5 months in hospital learning everything over . She will never be the same but she is alive and doing well and even gave me a grandson. My other daughter is batteling alcoholism. Has been most of her life. In and out of rehabs where she is right now. Such a terrible disease. She stays drunk almost 24/7. Its a battle but we will never stop helping her. When i was 30-33 yrs old. I lost my whole family who worked in my restaurant with me... My mother, father, grandmother and two favorite aunts. Then my uncle who was my partner the night of katrina. Life can be so cruel at times but.... we dont give up. In ways it makes us stronger. Have to. To me its what has to be done. Once again, sorry for your loss Bruce. May she RIP