The Twisted Wishes Game!!

[pootie49]

Granted, however you went to bed and forgot to set it back to normal and woke up weighing four pounds.

I wish I could fly, without any mechanical aid.

[pajarito7]

Granted, but the word gets out and there are a lot of men in black standing in your driveway.

I wish I could go to Florence to see the Uffizi

[Barnabas]

Granted... but you went to Florence Henderson and she explained to you that the Uffizi is in Italy.

I wish the Minnesota Vikings would win the Super Bowl.

[napatamm]

Granted...but in the year 2365.

I wish I could go to Egypt to see the great pyramids.

[Barnabas]

Granted. But Brandon Fraser was there filming "The Mummy XII" and he wouldn't stop pestering you and you had to spend your entire vacation with him and he wouldn't stop talking about all the scarab beetles running around in his pants to which you constantly replied, "You know, if the Egyptians had had duct tape, the Sphinx would still have a nose."



I wish I could climb Mount Everest.

[Pootie]

Granted. However when you reach the top you slip and fall off the other side and on the way down you have alot of time to think and you cant stop wondering why did Brendan Fraser have that many scarab beetles in his pants anywayyyyyyyyyy...thud!

I wish I was one of the scarab beetles in Brendan Fraser's pants.

[chriscrojam]

Your wish is granted, however Brendan Fraser ate some 2,000 year old mummy chili and has horrible gas.

I wish I could talk to animals!

[imported_Lurker]

Granted, but now you understand everything that every animal says. Those stupid birds won't shut up about which yard has the best worms to eat, and the worms won't stop gossiping about the drama at the ant colony, and your dog really isn't as smart as you thought he was, and....

I wish my car got 100 miles to the gallon.

[Barnabas]

Granted... but it gets 100 miles to the gallon of Ben & Jerry's Rocky Road Ice Cream.

I wish I could ride with Bob Ballard on a sub and visit the deck of the Titanic.

[staret]

granted, just don't expect to be " the king of the world " you will be just another creature on the very deep sea. I wish II was on the beach of H awaii instead of this cold weather Colorado.

[bansaisequoia]

from the Palm Beacher

Granted! Enjoy an all-expense paid vacation for two at Oahu's fabulous Ala Moana Hotel! You and your loved one can comb the exotic beaches during an oil spill that dwarfs the Exxon Valdez and the BP Gulf combined! Now back to you, Drew.



I wish I had a starship.

[imported_Lurker]

Granted, but it runs on anti-matter, and dilithium hasn't been discovered yet.

I wish I could cook the perfect Thanksgiving turkey.

[Barnabas]

Granted... but you now need to buy a bigger oven, because Jerry Sandusky just doesn't fit in the one you now have. Actually, Sandusky is more of a perfect SOB instead of a perfect turkey.

I wish I could repair the Sphynx (did I spell that right?) and give it a brand new nose.

[bansaisequoia]

Say the secret word and ducks have down

Granted, but now it's in need of rhinoplasty.



I wish that I had duck feet.

[Barnabas]

Granted. But the fine print also states that you have agreed to be a contestant on next season's "Dancing With the Stars" and your first dance will be the quack-step... I mean, the quick-step



I wish I could speak German.