The Twisted Wishes Game!!

Granted, but since you're only eighteen years old now... you've wished yourself out of existence.

I've still got the song title game on my mind, so I'm thinking of something Ray Davies idly sings just before the start of a song on a live Kinks album...

"I wish I could fly like Superman."

Granted, but it does the job so well, that it sucked this up into it:



I wish I was twenty years younger.

[Glindia]

Granted, but the game show is "Wipeout", and you rather painfully can't make it past the first challenge.

I wish I could train my cats to clean the house.

GRANTED: But, while they were cleaning, your cats re-organized your files and have taken control of your finances (and the remote-control -- ouch). You may want to grow your nails and try your paw at fishing because dry food is on the menu. Litterbox-wise, forget about the Fresh Step, you now have sand. Your cats are now spending your toiletry money for their cruise (don't let them fool you, they don't hate water that much). Oh, and one more thing...they demand that you bring them an occasional mouse. ~~~dead or alive~~~

I wish that I had a vacuum cleaner that sucked (!!!worked!!! I have one that sucks). I wish that I currently own a functioning vacuum cleaner.

[imported_Lurker]

Granted, but the game show is "Wipeout", and you rather painfully can't make it past the first challenge.

I wish I could train my cats to clean the house.

Granted. You are now the proud owner of the new HAL 9000.


I'm very sorry, pootie...

I can't open the pod bay doors...

I'm afraid I can't do that...




I wish I could be a game show contestant.

yeah he really really is and wow i cant think of anything negative to being able to play the
guitar like B.B. cept maybe you have to deal with crazed blues fans?
oxymoron i know.

i wish i had a better computer. faster stronger....well faster anyway.

Granted, but you realize that Nietzsche is even more depressing in the original (he is, you know), and require years of intensive (and expensive) psychotherapy.

I wish I could play guitar like B. B. King.

Granted. But the fine print also states that you have agreed to be a contestant on next season's "Dancing With the Stars" and your first dance will be the quack-step... I mean, the quick-step



I wish I could speak German.

Say the secret word and ducks have down

Granted, but now it's in need of rhinoplasty.



I wish that I had duck feet.

Granted... but you now need to buy a bigger oven, because Jerry Sandusky just doesn't fit in the one you now have. Actually, Sandusky is more of a perfect SOB instead of a perfect turkey.

I wish I could repair the Sphynx (did I spell that right?) and give it a brand new nose.

[imported_Lurker]

Granted, but it runs on anti-matter, and dilithium hasn't been discovered yet.

I wish I could cook the perfect Thanksgiving turkey.

from the Palm Beacher

Granted! Enjoy an all-expense paid vacation for two at Oahu's fabulous Ala Moana Hotel! You and your loved one can comb the exotic beaches during an oil spill that dwarfs the Exxon Valdez and the BP Gulf combined! Now back to you, Drew.



I wish I had a starship.

[staret]

granted, just don't expect to be " the king of the world " you will be just another creature on the very deep sea. I wish II was on the beach of H awaii instead of this cold weather Colorado.

Granted... but it gets 100 miles to the gallon of Ben & Jerry's Rocky Road Ice Cream.

I wish I could ride with Bob Ballard on a sub and visit the deck of the Titanic.

[imported_Lurker]

Granted, but now you understand everything that every animal says. Those stupid birds won't shut up about which yard has the best worms to eat, and the worms won't stop gossiping about the drama at the ant colony, and your dog really isn't as smart as you thought he was, and....

I wish my car got 100 miles to the gallon.