Gallant Efforts

[Boulevardiere]

No seafood sausages on the menu... EELWURST and SEALWURST don't exist. (Maybe because both of those animals are already basically sausages.)

[the cryptogram keeper]

There's PORTABLENESS, but "PORTABLENESSES" is apparently not a thing - even in a puzzle where "TRANSPORTABLENESSES" was found.

[DrPlacebo]

Being a pyromaniac doesn't make you ARSONHEADED.

Being DAFTHEADED isn't a thing either.

(Also tried adding -NESS and -NESSES to both. No points.)

[bwt1213]

Man, deserved points for at least half of those. If I'd encountered those in a novel, I wouldn't have blinked. If I'd written them, I would have told the spell-checker to take a break.