Things that Bansai left for us

[Toeprint]

"You put a baby in a crib with an apple and a rabbit. If it eats the rabbit and plays with the apple, I'll buy you a new car."
— Harvey Diamond

bansaisequoia
August 11, 2011, 12:56 pm
If it's a baby tiger cub, then I've won a new car.

[Toeprint]

"Ultimately, aren't we all just talking monkeys with an attitude problem?"
— Uncle Ben

universalmom
February 8, 2012, 10:30 pm
Who's Uncle Ben?
nelnose
March 18, 2012, 6:11 pm
Peter Parker's uncle.
bansaisequoia
April 14, 2012, 6:51 pm
Or is it the converted rice guy?

[Toeprint]

"We can change our lives. We can do, have, and be exactly what we wish. "
— Anthony Robbins

bansaisequoia
October 24, 2010, 12:05 am
If we can do exactly what we wish, why hasn't one of these millionaire self-help book gurus wished her/himself to be the person who brings about world peace and harmony, ends pollution and global warming, and feed the starving masses? I guess they're more interested in being millionaires.

[Toeprint]

"The Eternal looked upon me for a moment with His eye of power, and annihilated me in His being, and become manifest to me in His essence. I saw I existed through Him. "
— Rumi

bansaisequoia
October 2, 2009, 5:05 pm
(link) [ Note: The original link is dead. Try http://web.archive.org/web/200601291...on/sauron1.jpg ]

[Toeprint]

"It's funny that pirates were always going around searching for treasure, and they never realized that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating."
— Jack Handey

bansaisequoia
May 10, 2010, 2:02 am
Fond memories of lashing people to the mizzen-mast or making them swim with the sharks. Good times.
chriscrojam
December 1, 2010, 11:46 am
I love Jack Handey quotes.
pootie49
May 29, 2011, 4:20 pm
i think he was being facetious.

--- --- --- --- ---

"If you were a pirate, you know what would be the one thing that would really make you mad? Treasure chests with no handles."
— Jack Handey

bansaisequoia
November 29, 2010, 8:30 pm
Scurvy bilge rats who should be lashed to the mizzenmast also make me mad. Yaaarrggh!

[Toeprint]

"The ascent from earth to heaven is not easy."
— Seneca

bansaisequoia
October 26, 2011, 7:45 pm
Only if you take the stairway to heaven instead of the express elevator.

[Toeprint]

"If happiness is activity in accordance with excellence, it is reasonable that it should be in accordance with the highest excellence. "
— Aristotle

RedEnoch
May 3, 2013, 3:57 pm
Hope you're happy, Bansai!
dovid1946
February 12, 2015, 11:49 am
I am happy just to be competing with such whizzes

[Toeprint]

"If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact."
— Jack Handey

bansaisequoia
July 10, 2010, 5:09 pm
That's true of New York City, too.

[Toeprint]

"The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky."
— David Gerrold

bansaisequoia
September 27, 2010, 9:18 pm
Actually, Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture has nothing to do with the War of 1812. It's only 1812 Overture, not War of 1812 Overture. This overture concerns the defeat of Napoleon's forces at the Battle of Borodino, which occurred in 1812.

[Toeprint]

"If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner."
— H.S. Leigh

Synonymous
November 27, 2019, 8:01 pm
RIP bansaisequoia.
lesliecomelastly
August 31, 2021, 10:02 am
Was so sad to learn of bansaisequoia's way too early passing. He was an inspiration to us all, and will be sorely missed.

[Toeprint]

"We all have private ails. The troublemakers are they who need public cures for their private ails. "
— Eric Hoffer

bansaisequoia
June 17, 2012, 6:15 pm
That's ridiculous. If I get punched in the stomach, it is my private ail. I am the only person who got the wind knocked out of him. But, it is a matter for public concern and calls for public remedies, because we all deserve to be able to walk down the street without being beaten up and mugged.

[Toeprint]

"The discovery of a new dish does more for human happiness than the discovery of a new star."
— Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

bansaisequoia
August 23, 2009, 12:47 am
Which do I like better? Betelgeuse? Or the Crunch Wrap Supreme?
bansaisequoia
February 26, 2011, 8:03 pm
Margeret Jo McCullen: Makes sense. Neat. Teri Rialto: Good times.

[Toeprint]

"As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. "
— Thomas Edison

bansaisequoia
June 20, 2010, 1:23 am
What if you're worried that your overworked and not drinking enough Whiskey?

[Toeprint]

"So heavy is the chain of wedlock that it needs two to carry it, and sometimes three."
— Alexandre Dumas

bansaisequoia
August 2, 2012, 4:16 am
So if Goethe looks like Q from Star Trek, and Samuel Johnson looks like a grimacing Penn Gillette, then Alexandre Dumas looks like Uncle Fester with hair, after he put a light bulb in his mouth.

[Toeprint]

"There are sadistic scientists who hurry to hunt down errors instead of establishing the truth."
— Marie Curie

bansaisequoia
March 30, 2012, 11:13 pm
Whatever their motives may be, scientists who hunt down errors also bring us closer to truth. Many scientists would welcome close scrutiny of their work, because if no reasonable refutation is found, there is greater support for their theories. If, however, their theory is belied by the findings of others, an advance in science is still made. From wikipedia: "In 1975, cosmologist Stephen Hawking bet fellow cosmologist Kip Thorne a subscription to Penthouse magazine for Thorne against four years of Private Eye for him that Cygnus X-1 would turn out not to be a black hole. It was, so Hawking lost."