Originally posted by vintage38
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Things that Bansai left for us
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"A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer."
— Unattributed
bansaisequoia
July 27, 2012, 12:26 am
If God is omnipotent, can he make enchiladas so spicy even s/he can't eat them???
(As of this date, bansai has held the record of 14 seconds since November 17, 2012, which was his birthday.)
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"If you want to be successful, find someone who has achieved the results you want and copy what they do and you'll achieve the same results."
— Anthony Robbins
bansaisequoia
January 21, 2010, 6:10 pm
'Never follow somebody else's path; it doesn't work the same way twice for anyone."-- J. Michael Straczynski
(As of this date, bansai has held the record of 11 seconds since March 17, 2010.)
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"Asking 'Who ought to be the boss' is like asking 'Who ought to be the tenor in the quartet'. Obviously, the man who can sing tenor."
— Henry Ford
bansaisequoia
June 2, 2011, 6:18 pm
In a corporation, many of us who sing like Caruso never get the chance to audition. Then we go to work and are told what to do by someone who caterwauls like an American Idol reject.
(As of this date, bansai has held the record of 12 seconds since February 6, 2011)
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"As each child looks at the world through innocent eyes, all they can see is the world's way of life and the way they think their lives should be." — Kandice Hehner
Hookedoncg
August 14, 2010, 2:24 am
how are the points calculated
greenacres
March 22, 2011, 9:39 pm
No one knows
bansaisequoia
February 23, 2012, 7:46 pm
It's done by pixies with magic abacuses on top of an enchanted lily pad floating in a pond of Ambrosia. Watch out for unicorn and centaur crossing when you get there.
wvwoman
January 17, 2013, 1:29 am
go to forum and do a search--it's in there.
Allen
February 7, 2013, 12:06 am
Thanks, BS, that's what I suspected, because I've seen their tracks in the magic snow!
montyb
April 5, 2013, 1:35 am
Unicorn and centaur "crossing"; now there's a new euphemism.
abra
July 22, 2015, 12:34 pm
I don't think I've ever seen bansai's explanation of points. Very clever.
(Bansai held a 17-sec. record for this quote for nearly six years -- from July 1, 2010, until twskinner beat him by 2 seconds in June 2016.)
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"Do not compute the totality of your poultry population until all the manifestations of incubation have been entirely completed." — William Jennings Bryan
bansaisequoia
October 6, 2011, 2:05 am
This maxim is as antediluvian as the natural topographical inclines.
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"The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale."
— Arthur C. Clarke
bansaisequoia
August 18, 2009, 10:50 pm
This is about the most insipid quote that could have been selected from the writings of an otherwise great mind. I like this quote far better: "I would defend the liberty of concenting adult creationists to practice whatever intellectual perversions they like in the privacy of their own homes; but it is also necessary to protect the young and innocent."
kb83
May 22, 2014, 4:31 am
Can we put you on the selection committee, Bansai?
Spenser
December 27, 2014, 9:46 am
This is among the most banal of the banal.
jval
March 29, 2015, 6:03 am
Over the past couple years, I have lost 50 pounds and my relationship with my bathroom scale in profound ... not banal at all.
marnita
September 10, 2015, 5:06 am
Congratulations, jval. I hope your success continues.
jason jiujitsu
September 16, 2015, 7:39 am
As did Jared Fogle, jval! Great job!
maradnu
September 13, 2017, 3:52 am
Just don't engage in the other activities that Jared did.
SippyGurl
December 27, 2017, 12:51 am
nice jval!
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"Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction."
— Mark Twain
bansaisequoia
June 15, 2010, 1:45 am
I like this humorous twist on the old aphorism of truth being stranger than fiction. This may be the funniest thing Samuel Clemens ever said. I divide my time between cerebral prose and pulp fiction and comic books. I rarely waste my time on poorly written fiction which should gather dust on library shelves.
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Note that as of right now, Bansai still has the record (17 secs) that he set on July 17, 2011 on this quote:
"Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes. "
— Henry David Thoreau
bansaisequoia
December 16, 2009, 4:03 am
Grrr... I hate this crypto! Distrust and mistrust are both in the dictionary. And there are no other m's or d's in this quote. Grrr...
kahvecowgirl
November 23, 2019, 3:00 pm
I hope Bansai has this record forever. The day he set the record was not the day he complained about mistrust and distrust, but it's still classic!
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"His house was perfect, whether you liked food, or sleep, or work, or story-telling, or singing, or just sitting and thinking, or a pleasant mixture of them all."
— J. R. R. Tolkien
bansaisequoia
February 18, 2011, 4:18 am
This was written of the last homely house in Rivendell, where dwelt Elrond in "The Hobbit." Hugo Weaving's portrayal of him in the Lord of the Rings films made him look somewhat grim, and not the host of a pleasant house.
skoogie2
July 18, 2013, 2:09 am
That sounds like a great house! I want to visit there.
montyb
September 8, 2014, 2:55 pm
Hope he has a game room.
judy100
July 22, 2015, 7:06 am
$mells like old $
abra
March 9, 2016, 1:19 pm
I think we're sitting by the fire with wine and cheese, and singing songs, between stories. I think I'll stay a while.
abra
January 10, 2017, 6:40 pm
Still here. Elrond isn't the least bit grim.
lertsek
June 19, 2018, 9:34 am
I'm lucky enough to have a friend whose house is like that.
DrCryptell
July 29, 2019, 1:44 pm
Not interested in a visit unless he has Wi-Fi and an update Roku player with volume control.
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"Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can't get you off."
— Bill Veeck
bansaisequoia
October 9, 2009, 1:30 am
Strangely enough, I read his autobiography when I was 13 years old. When I turned 14, I became a starving musician, and now I couldn't give a rat's patootie about sports.
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"Complaining is good for you as long as you're not complaining to the person you're complaining about."
— Lynn Johnston
maradnu
May 22, 2010, 10:51 pm
I did that once. Complained about a bar band to someone who turned out to be a band member.
bansaisequoia
February 14, 2011, 1:06 am
I did the opposite once. I was sitting on a bar stool and I said to the guy next to me, "This band jams better than Phish!" Turned out he was with the band, and they gave me a free t-shirt.
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