Things that Bansai left for us

[Toeprint]

"Equal Rights were created for everyone."
— Mr. New Jersey Male pageant contestant

bansaisequoia
October 6, 2011, 6:34 pm
Mr. New Jersey Male pageant contestant. I wonder if any of them went on to become Hooters Guys.

[Toeprint]

"The sun rose slowly, like a fiery furball coughed up uneasily onto a sky-blue carpet by a giant unseen cat."
— Michael McGarel

bansaisequoia
July 22, 2011, 5:31 pm
Ah, the poignant beauty of metaphor in prose.

[Toeprint]

"Men are those creatures with two legs and eight hands."
— Jayne Mansfield

chopstix
December 18, 2012, 8:49 pm
He said he was Slavic and Italian 'cause he had Russian hands and Roman fingers!
wvwoman
May 5, 2013, 1:56 pm
a guy wrote that in my junior high school yearbook (the hands and fingers part) in the early '60's---wonder how far back it goes?!
bansaisequoia
June 24, 2013, 12:57 pm
In the '70s, Finnish and Himalayan got added to that one.

[Toeprint]

"Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one is to blame. "
— Erica Jong

bansaisequoia
January 25, 2010, 7:29 pm
Okay! So, it's not my fault, either. Thanks, Erica!

[Toeprint]

"All the Congress, all the accountants and tax lawyers, all the judges, and a convention of wizards all cannot tell for sure what the income tax law says."
— Walter B. Wriston

bansaisequoia
September 10, 2011, 5:38 pm
Not even Dumbledore and Gandalf?

[Toeprint]

"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. "
— Will Rogers

bansaisequoia
May 24, 2009, 3:15 pm
In my book, this is Will Rogers' best line ever!

[Toeprint]

"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked."
— Bernard Meltzer

bansaisequoia
October 9, 2012, 3:50 pm
Slightly?
montyb
October 26, 2012, 8:46 pm
From this cracked egg to another, Bansai.
momof7
October 19, 2013, 2:42 pm
I feel more scrambled.
dovid1946
May 10, 2015, 8:25 am
eggs-actly
marnita
May 24, 2015, 7:46 am
An egg is not of much use until it is cracked.

[Toeprint]

"Never fall out with your bread and butter."
— English Proverb

bansaisequoia
October 8, 2014, 12:59 pm
I was at attention in the mess hall, when the sergeant dismissed us. I had to fall out with my bread and butter.

[Toeprint]

"I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time."
— H.L. Mencken

bansaisequoia
September 9, 2009, 10:57 pm
I don't know. I think Papa Smurf was a wise and benevolent ruler.
bansaisequoia
November 7, 2009, 7:37 pm
The streets of DC will be jammed with one less picketer.
LurkerSmurf
April 24, 2017, 8:12 am
Back to bsnsai's original comment, the Smurfs are communists. In the true and original form, of course. Papa Smurf is more of a guide than a ruler, and everyone helps each other, even when they don't necessarily get along.

[Toeprint]

"There is a significant Latin proverb; to wit: Who will guard the guards? "
— Josh Billings

bansaisequoia
April 19, 2009, 6:16 pm
This has also been translated as "Who watches the watchmen?" This was the inspiration for the Alan Moore/Dave Gibbons graphic novel and film, "Watchmen."

[Toeprint]

"Tell me doctor, with all of your defenses, are there any provisions for an attack by killer bees? "
— Unattributed

bansaisequoia
June 21, 2009, 12:53 am
Who remembers this? (link)
bansaisequoia
August 14, 2009, 1:48 am
Oops! Well, this one, then: (link)

[Toeprint]

"To establish oneself in the world, one has to do all one can to appear established."
— Francois de la Rochefoucauld

its_me7811
June 5, 2009, 5:54 am
Chicken or Egg ???
bansaisequoia
October 11, 2009, 11:13 pm
Can't get the job without experience. Can't get experience without the job.
kb83
August 23, 2018, 2:20 pm
Fake it 'till you make it.

[Toeprint]

"Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?"
— Francois de la Rochefoucauld

bansaisequoia
July 5, 2009, 1:58 am
I've heard a bartender tell the same joke a thousand times, but to a thousand different people.

[Toeprint]

"Now, according to the new-fangled U.S. government, it is OK to have the gay."
— Rachel Maddow

bansaisequoia
September 17, 2012, 1:20 am
Some might think this is an edgy thing to say, but I can't help but believe that one of the reasons for the government's thaw on gay/lesbian issues is that they'd have to institute a draft if they weren't allowing gays/lesbians in the military. Many sources say that 75% of young people in the US are ineligible for military service. The reasons include poor education and low Armed Service Vocational Aptitude Battery scores, inability to pass urinalysis drug screening, obesity and other health problems, and extensive juvenile criminal records. Check this link: (link)

[Toeprint]

"Life will not bear refinement. You must do as other people do. "
— Samuel Johnson

bansaisequoia
November 26, 2009, 3:40 pm
No way. I'm an iconoclast who struts to the beat of a different drummer.
rage
February 20, 2012, 10:12 am
And I'm a by-the-books government agent. Due to a clerical error, we wind up being roommates. Wackiness ensues! It's G-Man and the Rebel. Only on CBS.

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"Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to continually be part of unanimity."
— Christopher Morley

bansaisequoia
July 7, 2009, 10:37 pm
I, too, am an impetuous iconoclast.