Classic Comments on the Quote

[ddph]

Llapp makes this tread for me.

"The only limits are, as always, those of vision."
— James Broughton

bansaisequoia on October 16th, 2012
I am nyctalopic, myopic and presbyopic.

wvwoman on October 22nd, 2012
ahh, the 'over 40' condition!

montyb on December 24th, 2012
Welcome to the club, Bansai. Except, instead of nyctalopia, I am chromatically challenged.

tjsrc on November 8th, 2013
Everyone's a geezer on this site geez.

abra on June 26th, 2016
I swear, it happens on your fortieth birthday.

LLapp on September 15th, 2017
I was 42. I remember it vividly: the optometrist at Lenscrafters was going on and on in the little dark room about my "two precriptions" and I said, "Why do you keep saying TWO prescriptions?" and then she used the foreign word "presbyopia" and mentioned near vision and far vision, and that's when I shouted "Wait . . . are you tellin' me I need BIFOCALS?!" and she said "I'm . . . I'm so sorry." I went back out to the store, where my two children were having fun trying on frames, and told them "Hey! Guess what I need! It starts with a B." My son said, "Uh....boxer shorts?" I said "It starts with a B and it ends in an old age home!" "Okay, I'm guessing bifocals," he said. "RIGHT," I barked. He laughed. Now he's 34 and balding. Hah.

BrainCellKeeper on December 31st, 2017
At around age 48, I needed to start dying my hair to cover the gray and wearing cheaters to read small, blurry letters.

marnita on January 7th, 2018
40, yep, that sounds about right. The good news is that my eyes haven't gotten much worse since then (I''m pushing 75). Except for the incipient cataracts, of course.

NotTooOld on August 3rd, 2018
My first pair of glasses were trifocals. Talk about a hard adjustment.

[LLapp]

Monty's excellent comeback, plus a bonus word list

"The fatter the flea the leaner the dog." — Proverb

chopstix on August 1st, 2013
eewww

jnoodles on March 9th, 2015
Very eeewwww

kb83 on July 22nd, 2015
Comma after "flea". And what is the higher lesson in this proverb?

montyb on July 24th, 2015
That fleas are too busy with their ectoparasitic ways to punctuate properly?

SwampySox on February 29th, 2016
They sucked it right out of the quote.

GtrZan on July 6th, 2017
I'll take "4-letter words that end in A" for 1000, Alex

LLapp on October 26th, 2017
4-letter words that end in A? Gosh, after "flea," I have no idea.

badbob on February 19th, 2018
idea, lava coma sofa saga papa mesa rota

xlr8r on September 4th, 2018
PLUS: gila kiva kola mica mila nova pica plea puma sera sima siva soda soma soya tuba tuna urea visa vita whoa yoga zeta.

lewisengr on October 1st, 2018
iota

[ddph]

"Intelligence is not to make no mistakes, But quickly to see how to make them good. "
— Elbert Hubbard

universalmom on October 28th, 2014
Good job not splitting that infinitive

dovid1946 on February 13th, 2015
Another intelligent quote from the cool Cat in the Hat

darkyr on April 22nd, 2016
I split an infinitive once. It took several weeks to heal.

maradnu on April 6th, 2017
How many stitches did it require?

skeeter on November 5th, 2017
An infinite number.

Barnabas on August 16th, 2018
Nothing worse than a 7 / 10 split infinitive.

[ddph]

Simon and Garfunkel get Hammered

"It is better to be the hammer than the anvil. "
— Proverb

puffybob on March 31st, 2013
The original meaning of this comparison was that it is better to be the anvil: the hammer eventually wears out and breaks, but the anvil never does.

JD_1947 on November 7th, 2014
Yep! There's lots of stuff out there 'bout hammers but not much on anvils . . .

LLapp on November 20th, 2014
"If I Had an Anvil" never made it to the top ten.

petname on April 14th, 2015
Nope! "I'd rather be an anvil than a hammer, yes I would..." wouldn't do so well either!

dovid1946 on April 18th, 2015
and I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on

oddcouple on October 11th, 2015
Hm. I always that the comparison was to the hammer and the nail.

LLapp on May 8th, 2016
I'd rather be an allen wrench. They're cool.

abra on May 20th, 2016
I just got a Dremel tool, way cool.

GtrZan on July 26th, 2016
"...sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug!" - Dire Straits

Roxanne on May 3rd, 2017
I'm a detail sander and when I grow up I want to be an asphalt cold planer.

Beagle on May 16th, 2017
I'm with oddcouple. The saying is that it's better to be the hammer than the nail. If it's between the hammer and the anvil, I'll pick anvil every time.

skeeter on August 16th, 2017
I'd rather be a hammer than a nail. Yes I would. If I could, I surely would.

abra on August 29th, 2017
El Condor Pasa.

montyb on October 10th, 2017
It is not better to be the hammer than the Advil.

"Through years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt."
— Jack Nicklaus


Barnabas on March 30th, 2012
Over the past two days, I have come across two puzzles of quotes attributed to Jack Nicklaus. Both times I checked the four letter words to see if the word 'golf' would work, and in neither quote did that word actually come up.

montyb on August 18th, 2012
There are a lot of 4-letter words associated with golf that are, indeed, not "golf". I've used them all.

universalmom on March 30th, 2014
Hahaha...nice, monty!

LLapp on December 16th, 2015
Ball, dirt, club, sand, hole, walk, what else?

Quizzical on August 30th, 2016
Monty, we're going to miss you when you're gone! Great line.

wvwoman on November 1st, 2016
do you know something about montyb that we don't know, quizzical?!

puzzleme on March 13th, 2017
Monty? Monty, are you there? Hello?

LLapp on May 25th, 2017
It's spring - he's golfing.

NotTooOld on October 5th, 2017
I thought monty meant four letter words like X@#!

Persephone59 on January 9th, 2018
Yes, I think Monty's golf vocabulary is surely rather colorful.

montyb on April 11th, 2018
Yes, my colorful 4-letter golf vocabulary includes blue, gold, cyan, aqua, etc. As you can see, my lexicon tends toward the "blue".

MamaB on April 19th, 2018
Oh, thank goodness your back!

LLapp on November 27th, 2018
I had a feeling monty was back when I saw the empty pizza boxes.

"Must not all things at the last be swallowed up in death? "
— Plato

bansaisequoia on May 24th, 2013
Plato looks a lot like Alfred North Whitehead. When did the Ancient Greeks develop photography?

opallady on August 26th, 2014
I find that "head-on-a-pike" picture a bit unnerving.

LLapp on October 28th, 2014
Opallady, funny you should say that, because this week I find the "head-on-a-pike" Halloween decoration in my neighbor's front yard unnerving. Maybe I can do an Ancient Greek Philosopher head-on-a-pike theme for our front yard this year - give the neighborhood kids a little culture for a change.

JJ20paws on September 27th, 2015
Thanks, Plato! This is super uplifting! Sincerely, Jonah

darkyr on December 12th, 2018
I think the answer is 'no'. At least, there is not enough evidence since we currently have an uncountably large number of things that have yet to be swallowed up. I'll be happy to stay to the end to do a final tally, if no one else wants to.

[LLapp]

That fishbum guy is dangerous

"Friendship makes prosperity more shining and lessens adversity by dividing and sharing it." — Marcus Tullius Cicero

hipgabby611 on August 29th, 2010
What he actually said was, 'Friendship makes prosperity brighter, while it lightens adversity by sharing its griefs and anxieties.'

darkyr on June 15th, 2016
What he probably actually said was more like, "Nam et secundas res splendidiores facit amicitia et adversas partiens communicansque leviores." Crazy Roman couldn't speak a lick of English. What was he thinking?

marnita on April 28th, 2018
Thanks, darkyr.

fishbum on October 16th, 2018
Please fix.

[LLapp]

"The world is divided into people who do things, and people who get credit. Try, if you can, to belong to the first class, there is far less competition. — Dwight Morrow

montyb on December 14th, 2018
Absolutely, although Morrow borrowed this saying from me.

[LLapp]

And the score is: comments 10, quote zero.

"The mind moves in the direction of our currently dominant thoughts." — Earl Nightingale

Spenser on February 2nd, 2015
Talk about stating the obvious, because about our currently dominant thoughts define the direction our mind is moving.

kb83 on February 26th, 2015
I wonder what he was thinking when he thought this one up?

[LLapp]

"I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires." — Khalil Gibran

jnoodles on December 13th, 2016
His name would make a good breakfast cereal.

MamaB on March 25th, 2017
Um, crunchy, protein, low carbs.

Nautilus on August 13th, 2017
Tons of hidden sugar.

skeeter on December 1st, 2017
And when the grocer sells that cereal, just think of the Prophet margin.

Monytb gets his wish after DVMJDCPA hustles to a 9 second record

"Good things happen to those who hustle."
— Chuck Noll


montyb on July 22nd, 2018
117 seconds for this easy one. Please, someone take my name off the record.
montyb on September 10th, 2018
Thank you, DMVJDCPA!

[montyb]

Abra wins!

"The Greeks by their laws, and the Romans by the spirit of their people, took care to put into the hands of their rulers no such engine of oppression as a standing army. "
— Thomas Jefferson

puzzleme on April 23rd, 2013
I beg to differ with President Jefferson on both counts.

LLapp on November 27th, 2014
Regardless of his assertion, I just want to point out the President's exquisite mastery of English syntax. That is a truly graceful sentence.

thedarylscrew on January 26th, 2017
I had creeps and womans.

abra on June 26th, 2018
Beware of Creeps bearing gifts, and when in wome do as the women.

[ddph]

"When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped."
— Marcel Achard

wvwoman on April 22nd, 2013
very funny!!

universalmom on May 26th, 2013
Yes, that's going a bit far!

universalmom on April 10th, 2016
monty, weigh in on this one?

sexytary on June 1st, 2016
hahahaha

kb83 on July 18th, 2016
I love it.

YasmineMK on August 23rd, 2016
well the man isnt asking for much lol

maradnu on August 26th, 2017
Particularly when it is a digital watch

writeon on February 5th, 2018
Time is an illusion so he must have imagined people looking at their watches.

BriddlesBob on April 26th, 2018
I wondered who might have originated this OLD joke that 100's of speakers have mentioned during my lifetime.

blueladyblue on May 31st, 2018
Oh, man, I know what he must feel like. Can you imagine Socrates is giving a lecture to his students, and he catches them checking their sundials? Embarrassing.

darkyr on August 2nd, 2018
A cloud passes overhead and everyone groans in unison.

[LLapp]

"The feeling remains that God is on the journey, too." — St. Teresa of Avila

Queethebean on February 26th, 2013
Well, the least he could do is chip in for gas once in a while.

[ddph]

"I'm not judging people, I'm judging their actions. It's the same type of distinction that I try to apply to myself, to judge, but not be judgmental."
— Jeff Melvoin

puzzleme on June 5th, 2013
To fudge, but not be fudgmental.

montyb on December 27th, 2013
Me too, puzzleme.

LLapp on January 27th, 2016
"Fudgmental"!!!! What a useful word!

tgreen517 on May 30th, 2016
It is hard to live up to fudgespectations.

mmfs83 on March 18th, 2017
Now I want some fudge.