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  • LLapp
    replied
    "Isn't it funny how we'll look out the window at the moon, and then we notice it's not the moon but a streetlight?" — Jack Handey

    Prezkot
    July 18, 2014, 4:54 am
    What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the streetlight? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the streetlight, Mary.

    Leave a comment:


  • LLapp
    replied
    imsoeasy proves monty's point....

    "The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement." — Unattributed

    Lurker
    May 5, 2010, 1:57 pm
    Why is there a comma?

    montyb
    August 12, 2013, 12:51 am
    To leave some room for improvement.

    marnita
    June 2, 2014, 9:22 am
    My favorite part of doing cryptograms is Monty's comments.

    LLapp
    March 1, 2015, 11:15 am
    ERROR: Please delete the comma!

    universalmom
    March 25, 2015, 8:20 am
    Hahaha monty

    montyb
    October 13, 2017, 1:38 pm
    Don't remove the comma! That would ruin my joke!

    tgreen517
    September 7, 2018, 8:33 pm
    The comma is gone, but the joke is still funny!

    imsoeasy
    July 7, 2019, 10:13 pm
    What joke?
    Last edited by LLapp; 11-26-2019, 02:37 AM. Reason: Add a heading.

    Leave a comment:


  • Eureka
    replied
    Sometimes a rhetorical question demands an answer.Enter Redforce.

    "The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death."
    — Oscar Wilde

    LLapp
    November 17, 2016, 5:40 pm
    How do you know which mystery is bigger? How do you measure a mystery?

    Redforce
    December 6, 2018, 6:14 am
    Well, LLapp, the Imperial British unit is the Holmes. 1 Holmes = 2.25 minor clues. It takes an average of 2 KiloHolmes to solve a major mystery. The Belgian unit is the Poirot, which is roughly 1H = 1.62P. Comparatively, the American measurement unit the Columbo is 1H = 1.98C. Clouseaus were briefly used by the French, but fell out of favor since calculations tend to be full of mistakes.

    Leave a comment:


  • LLapp
    replied
    "The whole problem is to establish communication with one's self." — E. B. White

    maradnu
    November 25, 2009, 12:07 am
    Hey! Are you in there? I wanna talk.

    bansaisequoia
    December 16, 2009, 3:33 am
    Brought to you by the world wide web: (link)
    https://mightyredpen.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/charlottes-web.jpg














    montyb
    April 7, 2014, 12:22 pm
    All I ever get is a busy signal.

    montyb
    July 7, 2014, 4:08 pm
    And the roaming charges....

    LLapp
    June 9, 2016, 9:00 pm
    My self called me "some pig." Not sure if that's a compliment or what.

    Spellbinder44
    October 18, 2016, 2:45 pm
    Solved the crypto and tapped "Reset" button instead of "Check it" button. Communicated expletive laden message to oneself , succesfully.

    maradnu
    October 14, 2017, 5:08 am
    I tried calling repeatedly. My self blocked my number, won't call back or answer texts or emails.

    badbob
    October 30, 2018, 7:38 pm
    self and i aren't speaking right now

    badbob
    October 6, 2019, 8:12 pm
    OK we are talking but i finally realize what a loser he is.

    Leave a comment:


  • oddcouple
    replied
    "Do not wish to be anything but what you are, and try to be that perfectly."
    — Saint Francis de Sales

    kjmcaj
    April 8, 2013, 8:13 pm
    163 seconds
    Barnabas
    March 31, 2014, 5:48 pm
    Unless, of course, you're a serial killer.
    montyb
    November 6, 2016, 2:05 pm
    I can kill a box of cereal in 4 days.
    LLapp
    January 7, 2017, 5:10 pm
    It worked for Popeye: (link)
    tavi5280
    February 7, 2017, 6:33 am
    I don't see why I couldn't do it "fervently" ( except the "N" on 2 different letters - but hey, nobody's perfect
    pj48
    November 6, 2017, 5:58 am
    I can kill a bottle of Malbec in 2, monty.
    writeon
    February 23, 2018, 3:03 am
    You could be perfect with not wishing to be anything.
    abra
    June 18, 2018, 10:05 am
    Gotcha, St Francis, I've got this one covered. I am me to a Tee.
    oddcouple
    June 22, 2018, 11:04 pm
    Or like the sweet potato said to the stuffing "I yam what I yam".
    BriddlesBob
    December 13, 2018, 6:23 am
    "But that's not very a-pealing," Mr. Potato.
    pickleball
    August 6, 2019, 7:02 pm
    i yam what i yam
    jbb33054
    September 6, 2019, 12:41 pm
    59
    jbb33054
    September 22, 2019, 6:50 pm
    61
    momof7
    October 23, 2019, 4:08 pm
    So far, I've done it better than anyone else.

    Leave a comment:


  • LLapp
    replied
    NotTooOld speaks for us all....

    "We often want one thing and pray for another, not telling the truth even to the gods." — Seneca


    NotTooOld
    April 10, 2019, 10:11 am
    I pray to lose weight but I really want to eat more mashed potatoes.

    Leave a comment:


  • LLapp
    replied
    "It takes little talent to see what lies under one's nose, a good deal to know in what direction to point that organ." — Wystan Hugh Auden

    PianoManGidley
    February 17, 2011, 11:54 am
    Shouldn't it be "...AND a good deal..."?

    montyb
    July 8, 2013, 3:00 pm
    The syntax is typically British.

    LLapp
    February 5, 2015, 9:26 am
    The construction is a quasi-poetic device that's used frequently in written English. Plus, Auden was a poet, so he has a license.

    maradnu
    October 14, 2016, 3:19 pm
    I heard his license was revoked for drunken rhyming.

    badbob
    June 26, 2017, 6:14 am
    step out of the car Mr Auden and put your nose on the roof

    Leave a comment:


  • LLapp
    replied
    What happens when you offer a website full of introverts a hug . . .


    "A hug is a great gift - one size fits all, and it's easy to exchange." — Unattributed

    saipanwriter
    July 31, 2012, 3:18 am
    Gag me. Greeting card blather. Ick.

    montyb
    July 2, 2013, 1:15 am
    Try it with "hog" instead of "hug".

    jnoodles
    August 7, 2013, 3:18 pm
    Who would exchange a hog? And for what? A marmot?

    universalmom
    April 28, 2014, 2:07 pm
    well, for some bacon and pork chops obviously!

    cryptospiridiagram
    March 5, 2016, 7:47 am
    For another hog. You just go down to HogCon and show him off.

    marnita
    April 7, 2016, 7:51 am
    How does one size of a hug fit all sizes of people?

    Nautilus
    June 9, 2017, 1:24 am
    A hag is a great gift, too. Not so easy to exchange though.

    mmfs83
    November 26, 2017, 4:16 am
    I almost went with rug. I guess I should think about vacuuming. But I'm not doing that until all the holiday decorating is done. In the meantime, I'll do cryptograms.

    Persephone59
    January 8, 2018, 6:54 pm
    I love that phrase, "I should think about...". That means it hasn't gotten anywhere NEAR the to do list yet!

    marnita
    June 9, 2018, 12:40 pm
    What good does it do to think about vacuuming? If I thought about it, I would never do it.

    NotTooOld
    November 18, 2018, 6:21 am
    Thinking about vacuuming is a great way to get cryptograms done.

    Eureka
    March 22, 2019, 12:46 pm
    Vacuuming is the great "double u" word!

    Leave a comment:


  • LLapp
    replied
    Maybe it's late and I'm punchy, but I laughed pretty hard at this....

    "Life lived amidst tension and busyness needs leisure. Leisure that recreates and renews. Leisure should be a time to think new thoughts, not ponder old ills." — C. Neil Strait

    kat
    April 4, 2009, 6:02 pm
    busyness!!! That messed me up!

    saipanwriter
    June 17, 2009, 5:16 am
    Busyness?!!

    bansaisequoia
    June 20, 2009, 1:49 am
    This quote has definitely interfered with my pursuit of happyness.

    kat
    July 10, 2009, 4:16 pm
    It did it again! Crap!!!!

    kat
    February 3, 2010, 4:17 pm
    I remembered the 'y' this time, but it still took me 43 seconds. Crap!

    kat
    February 21, 2010, 7:26 pm
    And 64 seconds this time! Crap I say!

    bansaisequoia
    August 11, 2011, 3:29 pm
    23 FTW!

    abra
    May 2, 2012, 10:05 pm
    BUSYNESS! phew, finally got it.

    abra
    July 18, 2013, 1:03 am
    I can't believe that I was here before, and I didn't remember "busyness". AARGH

    SippyGirl
    August 4, 2013, 3:21 pm
    had to google the curiosity away - see where i was going wrong... busyness. 262 seconds

    puzzleme
    September 24, 2013, 8:13 pm
    In future, I must make it my business to remembeer busyness!

    Allen
    January 9, 2014, 8:30 am
    I'm too busi to worry about it.

    beerfan95
    April 3, 2014, 1:25 pm
    Did anyone else have trouble with busyness?

    wvwoman
    April 10, 2014, 4:42 pm
    gee, no, beerfan95--did you?

    Leave a comment:


  • Eureka
    replied
    That time when things got "silly-us".

    "There are more things, Lucilius, that frighten us than injure us, and we suffer more in imagination than in reality."
    — Seneca

    Altoid701
    June 16, 2012, 10:11 pm
    lubilius/lupilius/licilius ARGH

    chopstix
    April 26, 2013, 4:44 am
    me too altoid

    bazinga
    September 29, 2013, 2:41 pm
    Lucilious is difficult to come up with when all you can think of is Horatio.....

    universalmom
    June 17, 2014, 9:48 am
    "Little Lucius"

    figmo
    July 7, 2014, 12:58 pm
    Didn't they have a TV show called "I Love Lucilius?"

    dovid1946
    May 22, 2015, 2:42 am
    yes, it was on the same network that the Romans tuned in to see the Caesars- Julius, Octavius, and Sid

    SippyGurl
    October 20, 2016, 9:56 am
    lucilius im home

    LLapp
    April 6, 2017, 7:02 am
    Seneca's got some 'splaining to do.

    seastar228
    September 3, 2017, 3:10 pm
    Ricky's out. Seneca's in.

    tclcac
    November 9, 2018, 5:47 pm
    We are a nation full of anxiety sufferers! Think how bad it would be if we had people running around with the names of "Lucilius" and "Annaeus" - please forgive me if that is your name! :-)

    abra
    January 16, 2019, 10:31 am
    Lucilius took me three tries.

    Icky
    June 16, 2019, 10:40 pm
    Happily I though of Locutus of Borg and got it on my second try.

    killdozer
    August 17, 2019, 10:08 pm
    You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucilius.

    Elephino
    October 10, 2019, 11:36 am
    Was he talking to himself?

    Leave a comment:


  • Eureka
    replied
    That time Miss Piggy got us all discussing artichokes, among other things....

    "After all the trouble you go to, you get about as much actual "food" out of eating an artichoke as you would from licking thirty or forty postage stamps."
    — Miss Piggy

    wvwoman
    October 21, 2013, 5:08 pm
    ha ha--well said, miss piggy!

    locodad
    November 4, 2013, 5:20 pm
    I heard that kermit is suing you mr. baron because you haven't put any of his quotes.

    chopstix
    February 2, 2014, 5:18 pm
    "It's not easy being green." - Kermit the Frog p.s., who cares about the artichoke? It's just there to hold all the butter and mayonnaise!

    cindidido
    March 29, 2014, 1:23 pm
    Chopstix understands artichokes!

    LLapp
    September 6, 2014, 12:27 pm
    "What? No Wikipiggia profile for moi?" (link)

    marnita
    April 12, 2015, 4:13 pm
    I love artichokes! And I eat them without butter or mayonnaise.

    kb83
    July 4, 2015, 5:14 am
    I love artichokes too, but they are an aioli or butter delivery device as well.

    marnita
    October 3, 2016, 6:32 am
    Artichoke dip - yum!

    darkyr
    February 24, 2017, 10:22 am
    Mmmmm. Postage stamps. Now I'm hungry.

    RustySkipper
    June 24, 2017, 2:42 pm
    My stamp collection album is right next to my artichoke collection album.

    marnita
    September 6, 2017, 7:06 am
    But now you don't have to lick the stamps. No food value at all. And I would certainly rather have an artichoke dip than a postage stamp dip.

    Persephone59
    December 26, 2017, 6:22 am
    I wholeheartedly agree with Miss Piggy. Artichokes are a waste of time.

    blueladyblue
    January 23, 2018, 11:23 am
    Miss Piggy is sow very wise.

    badbob
    March 8, 2018, 9:50 am
    spinach artichoke dip with pita or lavash bread

    abra
    October 30, 2018, 6:56 pm
    I've never had one, but if I did, I'd probably do butter but no mayo.

    SippyGurl
    February 19, 2019, 5:02 am
    mmm... artichoke balls

    Leave a comment:


  • Eureka
    replied
    Cheers, bansai!

    "Make your life a mission - not an intermission."
    — Arnold Glasgow


    bansaisequoia
    July 30, 2012, 7:21 pm
    Let's all go to the lobby to get some 7-Up.

    locodad
    April 1, 2013, 2:10 am
    I don't think they sell 7-UP in the theater, Maybe they should,because the sodas would be much less expensive

    JD_1947
    December 4, 2014, 2:21 am
    . . I made my life a 'million' so sodas and popcorn are on me . . . ..

    abra
    April 18, 2015, 10:47 am
    My life was a million, too. Or maybe an intermillion.

    oddcouple
    May 12, 2016, 11:12 pm
    I think that I'll take JD up on that.

    Persephone59
    July 1, 2017, 12:32 pm
    I always take treats into the theater in my purse. Shhh. Then there was the time, decades ago, when we snuck a pint of peppermint schnapps into Masters of the Universe. Made for a pleasant summer afternoon. Good breath, also.

    Leave a comment:


  • oddcouple
    replied
    Hilarious contents for a hilarious movie

    "There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?"
    — Elaine Dickinson


    greenacres
    March 13, 2011, 6:16 pm
    Perhaps the funniest movie ever.
    pootie49
    May 24, 2011, 5:30 pm
    thats a roger roger.
    cknapp329
    June 21, 2011, 1:12 pm
    Don't call me Shirley
    montyb
    June 7, 2012, 1:13 am
    Looks like I picked the wrong day to give up Cryptograms.
    kjmcaj
    July 27, 2013, 4:06 am
    48 seconds.
    Barnabas
    August 1, 2013, 3:46 pm
    Julie Haggarty and Leslie Nielsen played their parts to perfection.
    LLapp
    September 29, 2014, 10:42 am
    "Hello, we'd like you to have this flower from the church of religious consciousness." - Gregory Itzin, a.k.a. President Logan on 24.
    killdozer
    November 20, 2015, 6:14 pm
    "Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes.".
    LLapp
    March 9, 2016, 8:14 pm
    Here is a set of clips from "Zero Hour," the 1957 film that "Airplane!" was based on. The verbatim matches are amazing. (Sorry I could not find any clips outside of Facebook.) (link)
    Ian123
    September 20, 2016, 9:31 pm
    Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue!
    SippyGurl
    July 23, 2017, 5:34 pm
    lol her scene with otto
    fishbum
    November 27, 2017, 11:04 am
    yes Sippygurl. The biggest laugh I ever had.
    didit
    September 8, 2019, 7:03 pm
    LLapp, thank you for sharing that clip.

    Leave a comment:


  • LLapp
    replied


    "It is more honorable to be raised to a throne than to be born to one. Fortune bestows the one, merit obtains the other." — Petrarch


    montyb
    November 19, 2013, 9:40 am
    Just how honorable is it to dress as an asparagus spear?

    Leave a comment:


  • oddcouple
    replied
    "Painting is an attempt to come to terms with life. There are as many solutions as there are human beings."
    — George Tooker


    montyb
    March 9, 2012, 10:16 pm
    And counting....
    montyb
    June 6, 2013, 1:32 am
    Remember, if you are not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
    jnoodles
    July 8, 2013, 11:28 am
    I precipitated you might say that.
    joma1944
    February 4, 2014, 10:13 am
    we're getting precipitation as I write.
    QuexUl
    March 1, 2016, 3:20 am
    I find this quote to be overly precipitate.
    abra
    April 25, 2017, 10:20 am
    I used to work at a place that had a precipritator. I'm confused, because we didn't do any painting. They did have people come in and paint the walls, maybe that was it.
    DrCryptell
    May 17, 2018, 10:39 pm
    I once painted a door on a brick wall and then opened it and walked through to the other side, proving his truth.
    pickleball
    May 21, 2019, 10:36 am
    and what was on the other side?
    Persephone59
    May 22, 2019, 12:13 pm
    DrCryptell has been watching Daffy Duck cartoons. Remember the holes he would carry around and just put them wherever he needed to, like the side of a building? Or when the artist started erasing him? Those were favorites.

    Leave a comment:

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