Classic Comments on the Quote

[LLapp]

"Television is a gold goose that lays scrambled eggs; and it is futile and probably fatal to beat it for not laying caviar." — Lee Loevinger

jstrider
October 15, 2013, 6:40 am
That's almost like the time my chickens wanted to watch the city workers laying sidewalk along the road.

Vienna
August 28, 2015, 5:00 pm
Curiosity is hard on more than cats. As entertaining as TV give your chickens left over spaghetti

Roxanne
March 15, 2018, 6:10 am
As a city worker, I like to watch chickens laying leftover spaghetti along the road.

kb83
May 6, 2019, 4:11 pm
If it laid caviar, that would be fishy.

Elephino
June 21, 2020, 1:51 pm
watch them metaphors!

LLapp
October 22, 2021, 5:21 am
Caviar roads would be awful in the summer.

rasbury
April 16, 2023, 10:48 pm
Why did the city worker cross the road?

rasbury
December 29, 2023, 4:43 pm
To get to the other chicken.

[LLapp]

"Neither the sun nor death can be looked at with a steady eye " — Francois de la Rochefoucauld

Wilbur
July 13, 2020, 8:14 pm
As soon as I saw the pattern “_E_TH” I looked away.

[LLapp]

"Don't be like a pizza cutter: all edge, and no point." — Alexandre Dumas

LLapp
November 12, 2023, 10:39 pm
Um, somehow this doesn't sound like Alexandre Dumas who lived 1802 to 1870 and wrote historical novels. Yes, there were pizza cutters back then, but this is just so dumb.

mellav1
February 6, 2024, 4:46 pm
This may be the most absurd/funniest misattribution ever

Ian123
March 9, 2024, 7:22 am
Maybe Alexendre Dumbass ?

318WOZ
May 6, 2024, 9:33 am
A line from The Three Pizzateers, perhaps?

montyb
June 17, 2024, 7:20 am
^ Nah. It’s from “The Count of Monte Crusto”.

[LLapp]

"Death is more universal than life — everyone dies, but not everyone lives." — T.A. Sachs

Roxanne
December 30, 2016, 2:29 am
It's also more universal than lice.

Roxanne
April 9, 2017, 8:59 am
God, Roxanne, how witty of you.

Roxanne
August 22, 2018, 2:14 pm
Roxanne, you are one funny lady.

bigdave
October 7, 2020, 6:45 pm
R-o-o-o-xanne, you don't have to mention the head lice.

[LLapp]

"When something is missing in your life, it usually turns out to be someone." — Robert Brault

iltquilt
July 16, 2012, 12:06 am
Oh, puleeze!

bazinga
November 12, 2012, 12:11 am
This guy is so dull I am beginning to suspect he owns this site and throws in his own quotes.

CryptoB
February 25, 2013, 2:05 am
Ick! I think I'd prefer to see Jack Handey quotes his.

barbaralv8
August 18, 2014, 8:12 am
I like this quote. I think Brault understands that living life only for yourself can lead to emptiness, loneliness and bitterness. Having someone else to be with and live for is wonderful.

Quizzical
December 19, 2014, 2:04 am
He comes up with an occasional good one, but a blind hog finds an acorn once in a while, as they used to say.

Unattributed
December 9, 2015, 5:08 am
...did I miss a meeting where we all agreed to hate this guy? 'Cuz I think it's a nice quote.

Eureka
November 15, 2018, 7:05 am
Unattributed, not only did we have a meeting where we all agreed to hate Brault, but your name also came up....

[Synonymous]

Great come back by Eureka. I laughed out loud and it's 3 o'clock in the morning. Still chuckling.

[montyb]

"I can't understand it. I can't even understand the people who can understand it."
— Queen Juliana

cheryljean777
June 2, 2011, 5:57 pm
I know the feeling.

madrone
October 15, 2011, 12:56 am
Here, here!

pootie49
June 25, 2012, 3:24 pm
She's talking about math isnt she?

montyb
July 20, 2012, 10:49 pm
I vote for punctuated equilibrium.

abra
May 24, 2013, 8:59 pm
Oh yes, I feel this way about a lot of things.

skoogie2
July 27, 2013, 7:47 pm
I think it's chemistry!

locodad
September 20, 2013, 1:46 pm
I think is women , no offense since they are lovely

gryhnd51
May 8, 2014, 8:36 pm
locodad...that's very sweet, and very funny!

abra
January 22, 2017, 6:09 pm
I think its math, and probably commas.

maradnu
June 21, 2018, 5:20 am
I don't understand people who can't understand algebra

mellav1
July 8, 2021, 9:52 am
Apparently said about an "electronic data processing machine" aka computer

badbob
January 28, 2022, 4:03 am
maybe she's talking about cricket

maradnu
January 4, 2023, 11:11 pm
I had a punctuated equilibrium but lucky the doctors were able to fix it.

Kaden Vanciel
August 5, 2023, 4:01 am
Who's Queen Juliana?

hrossa
March 7, 2024, 1:05 am
Punctuated equilibrium is when LLapp is satisfied with the quote's placement of commas and semicolons.

[LLapp]

"Be more prompt to go to a friend in adversity than in prosperity." — Chilon of Sparta

montyb
January 13, 2020, 5:32 pm
Wait. Would this be my adversity or my friend’s adversity? And exactly whose prosperity is involved? It makes a difference.

rasbury
July 31, 2020, 7:05 pm
I assume he means your friend's adversity or prosperity. If not, it's not such a nice quote. I want to figure it out quickly in case he sends me a friend request.

[kb83]

montyb's question is a good question. The syntax seems to imply it is the person's adversity or prosperity, but I agree with rasbury that one would assume it was the friend's adversity or prosperity that was intended. If so, then a clearer statement would be "...than to a friend in prosperity".

[LLapp]

"A skeptic is a person who would ask God for his ID card." — Edgar A. Shoaff

blueladyblue
December 9, 2021, 6:27 pm
I'd prefer to have his password.

[Eureka]

"The man with a clear conscience probably has a poor memory." — Unattributed

montyb
May 4, 2013, 12:30 am
I will write a stinging, yet profound, rejoinder as soon as I think of it again.

montyb
July 24, 2013, 6:33 pm
...still working on it...

montyb
August 31, 2016, 9:40 pm
Oh yeah! Stinging rejoinder. Now where did I leave it?

darkyr
December 22, 2016, 3:34 am
Would you like me to leave your stinging rejoinder? I think I remember how it goes.

montyb
September 11, 2017, 12:11 am
Please do, darkyr. Thank you very much. Now where did I leave my keys?

marnita
March 24, 2018, 2:30 pm
Monty has obviously been here at least four times. If he had a great memory, he would surely have the record by now. I think his conscience must be pretty clear.

montyb
December 9, 2018, 6:05 am
Who is this Monty guy?

LLapp
November 15, 2020, 8:53 pm
Hey, somebody left their car keys here.

rasbury
February 26, 2022, 7:35 pm
Just press the "clear" button and start again.

hrossa
September 24, 2022, 10:15 am
Yay! Rasbury found montyb's rejoinder. Thanks, r.

[LLapp]

One of Roxanne's finest posts of historical fiction...

"Humor is the affectionate communication of insight." — Leo Rosten

universalmom
April 28, 2014, 2:32 pm
When it's not mean-spirited

abra
July 20, 2015, 1:53 pm
Yes, a lot of humor, nowdays, is not affectionate.

montyb
May 11, 2016, 10:14 am
Nevertheless, I still laugh at a good pie fight.

Persephone59
June 25, 2017, 6:11 pm
Most humor is not mean spirited. It lightens the mood and puts people at their ease. Oh, yeah, it's fun, too.

Roxanne
April 13, 2018, 1:23 am
Most people don't realize the degree to which Hoosiers today still engage in pie-fighting, a phenomenon that to some in southern Indiana is a serious matter involving territorial control and family - or clan - honor. The custom arose just after the Civil War, when there were political differences still to be resolved among residents near "The River" (as the Ohio is called in Indiana) . The practice likely would have died out completely had not Willis Johnson invented an improved mechanical egg beater in Cincinnati in 1884. The custom of topping pies with whipped cream then spread rapidly down the Ohio and took hold in Evansville in the autumn of 1905 (the Wikipedia article for 1906 includes many entries that explicate the chronology of the First Evansville Pie War). From there it moved north to cover an area coterminous with that of the Hoosier apex of the South Midland US dialect. Improvements in pressurization technology exacerbated the use of whipped cream on pies, and the practice of pie-fighting spread rapidly north as each farming community engaged in a sort of rural arms race with its neighbor. Most notoriously, the 20-year Hobbieville-Popcorn vendetta decimated the population of the latter village, which plummeted from a high of 6,672 residents in 1932 to 314 today. Pie-fighting became illegal in 1958 with the Poindexter-Hardin Act, yet it is still practiced in clandestine 'pie pans,' secret pie-fighting clubs often associated with gambling, pig-racing, and beer pong.