Things that Bansai left for us

[Toeprint]

"Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home, his face might burn up."
— Jack Handey

bansaisequoia
October 28, 2009, 6:30 pm
Actually, the first terrestrial creature in space was a dog. (link)

[Toeprint]

"A man profits more by the sight of an idiot than by the orations of the learned. "
— Proverb

1.

bansaisequoia

November 19, 2009

12 seconds

banzsaisequoia
February 23, 2010, 4:48 am
Perhaps only if he has time to examine the actions of the idiot.

[Toeprint]

"It is foolish to lay out money for the purchase of repentance. "
— Benjamin Franklin

bansaisequoia
April 23, 2010, 7:42 pm
Shhhh! You'll ruin everything for Oral Roberts and Jimmy Swaggart.

[Toeprint]

"It's only when the tide goes out that you learn who's been swimming naked."
— Warren Buffett

bansaisequoia
September 30, 2010, 12:34 am
As a Floridian, to me, this quote sounds more like it's from Jimmy Buffett. What do you think maradnu & Altoid701?
maradnu
January 2, 2013, 1:16 am
I think you could be right, Ban.
Allen
July 1, 2013, 12:31 pm
As a Floridian, though, the tide is extreme if it moves three feet.

[Toeprint]

"Art is pictures straight from the heart."
— Ben

bansaisequoia
October 2, 2011, 3:24 am
Is this the rat about whom Michael Jackson sang?
bansaisequoia
June 16, 2012, 5:01 pm
My doctor told me that was an echocardiogram.
pootie49
July 5, 2012, 5:53 pm
ben who??
einsmallstein
October 26, 2012, 10:55 am
Ben Jamin and Frank Lin, that's who

[Toeprint]

"Education - The ability to quote Shakespeare without crediting it to the Bible."
— Evan Edgar

bansaisequoia
October 26, 2010, 4:01 am
When I was in elementary school in Wisconsin, my best friend had fundamentalist Christian parents. He was made to memorize Bible verse in Sunday school. Whenever he cited something contrary to what his father believed, his father would say, "The Devil can cite scripture for his purpose." Too bad daddy didn't realize this was actually from "The Merchant of Venice."

[Toeprint]

"One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. "
— Bertrand Russell

bansaisequoia
January 8, 2010, 6:45 pm
My work IS my nervous breakdown.

[Toeprint]

"There's a moment coming. It's not here yet. It's still on the way. It's in the future. It hasn't arrived. Here it comes. Here it is. It's gone."
— George Carlin

bansaisequoia
June 26, 2009, 9:40 pm
George Washington? George Will? George Wendt? George Wallace? Or is this George of the Jungle?

[Toeprint]

"I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?"
— Anonymous

bansaisequoia
August 2, 2010, 12:02 am
Couldn't you have washed them the day before or the day before that? Maybe the reason you don't have any clean clothes is you're just a slob.

[Toeprint]

"A sneer is often the sign of heartless malignity."
— Johann Kaspar Lavater

bansaisequoia
July 24, 2012, 12:43 am
Heartless malignity? Is there another kind?

[Toeprint]

"One should never put on one's best trousers to go out to battle for freedom and truth."
— Henrik Ibsen

bansaisequoia
May 6, 2013, 2:42 am
Wear your kilt and moon the British.

[Toeprint]

"It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy."
— Groucho Marx

bansaisequoia
July 14, 2009, 12:29 am
In Kansas City, them's fightin' words!

[Toeprint]

"The Padres, after winning the first game of the doubleheader, are ahead here in the top of the fifth and hoping for a split."
— Jerry Coleman

LiveLoveLaugh
March 12, 2010, 11:50 pm
Maybe he's the cousin of Dan Quayle
bansaisequoia
August 16, 2010, 10:04 pm
Could be. Ronald Reagan was the announcer for the Cubs at one time.

[Toeprint]

"I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored."
— Wayne

bansaisequoia
May 2, 2011, 6:29 pm
And monkeys might fly out my butt! Hyaaah.

[Toeprint]

"If you ask me what I came into this world to do, I will tell you: I came to live out loud."
— Emile Zola

bansaisequoia
August 16, 2010, 3:56 am
If Emile Zola was my roommate Freshman year, he would've wanted a Harman/Kardon stereo with Genesis speakers to fulfill his wish. (I had to listen to too much Rush and Ted Nugent)