Things that Bansai left for us

[Toeprint]

"It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. "
— Winston Churchill

bansaisequoia
October 11, 2009, 3:07 am
Should an illiterate man read a book of quotations?

[Toeprint]

"We need leaders who will stand up for the little guy and listen once again."
— Sarah Palin

bansaisequoia
June 10, 2011, 4:43 am
And they'll help him by giving tax breaks to the big guy? Pffft!

[Toeprint]

"There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?"
— Elaine Dickinson

JCarlosCuevas
July 2, 2009, 6:32 pm
This is a line from the 1980 comedy film "Airplane!"
bansaisequoia
February 20, 2012, 2:30 pm
So, Marie Antoinette says, "Operator, I've been cut off."
bansaisequoia
June 30, 2012, 5:58 am
So he says to his wife, "Jackie, I need to skip this parade in Dallas like I need a hole in my head."
bansaisequoia
November 1, 2012, 2:14 am
I couldn't think of an ice breaker to tell Jackie O at the mixer, so I want up to her and said, "Do you remember where you were when Kennedy was shot?"
Allen
November 17, 2012, 11:58 am
So the bartender says, "Why the long face?"
montyb
January 20, 2013, 7:32 pm
And the customer replies, "It's the only one I have."

[Toeprint]

"You can kill a man but you can't kill an idea."
— Medgar Evers

joed
September 22, 2012, 3:55 pm
Medgar Evans has never met my incredibly close-minded boss.
bansaisequoia
October 7, 2012, 3:29 am
Medgar Evers was shot to death by a man who wasn't his boss, but was very close-minded. Hopefully, his ideas live on today in the hearts of at least some Americans.

[Toeprint]

"The artist does not see things as they are, but as he is."
— Alfred Tonnelle

einsmallstein
October 17, 2012, 4:09 pm
bansaisequoia is either autistic or has a really fast computer program for solving these crypts
chopstix
November 12, 2012, 4:04 pm
I find it interesting that these angry comments about bonsaisequoia keep popping up. This topic has been gone over and over, check the forums.... Anyhow, the level of wrath and allegation that comes out of people being envious of someone's cryptogram solving speed is just plain silly. You're saying more about yourself than anyone else.
Barnabas
November 21, 2012, 2:52 pm
He actually solved it in just over 1 second, but he had to go fold a load of laundry before he clicked that he was finished with the puzzle. Don't want any wrinkled shirts, ya know.
slow1
August 16, 2013, 4:56 pm
...not angry - just amazed - flabbergasted. He really IS special.
universalmom
January 30, 2014, 9:15 am
small-minded, einsmallstein. bansai is pretty amazing.
abra
April 15, 2015, 3:13 pm
I'm not sure what bansi's average time is, but there are actually quite a few players with averages between 45 and 20 seconds. AMAZING scores, they are such talented people. A lot of people start of thinking bansai, is a robot. Einsmallstein, may come around.
SippyGurl
September 26, 2015, 4:09 pm
when i do especially badly, i;ve been known to challenge bansaisequioa to beat my ridiculously pitiful time lol
realradiosglow
December 25, 2015, 3:21 am
I can neither think nor type fast enough to solve a puzzle like this in 6 seconds. Those who can are indeed very talented and amazing. I simply enjoy the challenge of solving a puzzle for the fun of it.
SippyGurl
November 28, 2016, 5:46 am
yah, if i type too fast the letters type/change in the same box - so the first letter typed is replaced by the next letter typed. i cant seem to explain that clearly
MamaB
August 13, 2017, 6:42 am
Yes, bansai may have an advantage there over me, too, SippyGurl, but he's still WAAAY better at this than I am.
Persephone59
February 18, 2018, 5:49 pm
Sippy, that happens to me, too. If I type two letters in quick succession, it puts the second one in the first box. Clearly this doesn't happen to Bonsai! I don't play competitively, but I have a ton of respect for Bonsai, and the comments he makes make him seem like a very interesting, complex guy, who probably goes outside occasionally.
badbob
May 20, 2018, 7:12 am
long ago, I settled for mediocrity. and i haven't disappointed myself.
Icky
September 4, 2019, 9:30 pm
Nanrich, Lacrossesticks and Deanna48 and others also get incredibly fast times. All are impressive.

[Toeprint]

"Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt? "
— Socrates

bansaisequoia
September 15, 2010, 6:46 pm
Actually, I've heard of Asclepius before. He's the Greek god of healing. His staff, which had a serpent entwined about it, is the symbol of the American Medical Association. But, who the heck is Crito?
bansaisequoia
December 4, 2010, 1:55 am
Was he a Cretan???
montyb
June 29, 2012, 1:10 am
This is not a puzzle to accidently hit the reset button instead of the check it button as I did.
CarpeLanam
December 26, 2012, 3:06 pm
This is what Socrates said as he was dying (forced to drink hemlock) to one of his students, who were keeping vigil with him.
abra
September 28, 2014, 9:58 am
Wow, 216 seconds is above average. I'm going to tell myself that bansai didn't do this in 12 seconds the first time.
killdozer
August 14, 2016, 5:41 pm
Asclepius was the god of medicine and healing. When somebody recovered from an illness, it was customary to sacrifice a chicken to them, Socrates said this while he was waiting to die from the hemlock he was forced to drink. He was making joke, basically, that he was being healed from the illness of life itself.
gryhnd51
November 12, 2020, 2:34 am
It makes me so happy that Bansai still holds the record. Bravo, Joseph

[Toeprint]

"Death smiles at us all, but all a man can do is smile back."
— Marcus Aurelius

bansaisequoia
July 10, 2012, 8:06 am
I did it at a Smile Marker a few Smiles back. It was a Smilestone for me.

[Toeprint]

"My wish is to ride the tempest, tame the waves, kill the sharks. I will not resign myself."
— Trieu Thi Trinh

bansaisequoia
May 22, 2012, 4:57 pm
Or you could ride the waves and tame the sharks. Or you could tame the tempest and ride the sharks. His mind is too one-track.

[Toeprint]

"I often thought that if there had been a good rap group around in those days, I might have chosen a career in music instead of politics. "
— Richard Milhous Nixon

Lurker
July 27, 2010, 12:39 am
Are you sure that's not a line from his "role" on Futurama?
bansaisequoia
October 4, 2010, 9:14 pm
DJ Dick & MC Spiro laying down some phat beats?
haverwench
October 15, 2010, 7:56 pm
The Nixon Foundation confirms that he said it: (link)
pootie49
May 24, 2011, 5:02 pm
wacka wacka i am not a crook wacka wacka. word.

[Toeprint]

"Personally I rather look forward to a computer program winning the world chess championship. Humanity needs a lesson in humility."
— Richard Dawkins

bansaisequoia
September 11, 2010, 6:19 pm
This quote was said by Oxford professor Richard Dawkins.
kb83
February 17, 2017, 3:22 am
bansai, what about a computer program doing cryptos? This seems like a finite problem, you could enter all sorts of patterns, probabilities, etc. Would you consider challenging a program?
marnita
January 6, 2018, 11:18 am
There are computer programs that solve cryptograms.

[Toeprint]

"In seeking wisdom thou are wise; in imagining that thou hast attained it thou are a fool."
— Rabbi Ben-Azai

bansaisequoia
May 17, 2010, 6:52 pm
Thou are?
saipanwriter
July 22, 2011, 4:20 am
If you're using "thou" for you, and "hast" for have, why aren't you also using "art" instead of "are?"

[Toeprint]

"Wisdom is not a product of schooling, but of the life-long attempt to acquire it."
— Albert Einstein

bansaisequoia
May 11, 2012, 3:53 pm
bazinga? or not?

[Toeprint]

"I've had the boyhood thing of being Elvis. Now I want to be with my best friend, and my best friend's my wife. Who could ask for anything more? "
— John Lennon

4.

impededredwood

November 29, 2009

13 seconds

pj48
March 5, 2015, 11:48 pm
I can't help noticing the ID of the person holding the record at present: impededredwood. Very good time, too.
Elephino
November 13, 2018, 4:00 am
impededredwood is probably another pseudonym for bansaisequoia

[Toeprint]

"Cockroaches really put my "all creatures great and small" creed to the test."
— Astrid Alauda

bansaisequoia
January 7, 2012, 6:15 pm
Not to mention maggots, dung beetles and that Alien on the Nostromo.

[Toeprint]

"Don't foul, don't flinch. Hit the line hard. "
— Theodore Roosevelt

bansaisequoia
July 8, 2009, 2:37 pm
I would have had a better time if I hadn't flinched.