Classic Comments on the Quote

[Eureka]

(Here's to all the timid men out there.)

"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of liberty. "
— Thomas Jefferson

LLapp
July 16, 2015, 12:41 pm
Why would anyone turn down the tempestuous sex of liberty?

montyb
October 15, 2015, 8:36 am
Probably she is as cold as her copper skin, standing out there in the harbor like that.

Deanna48
October 25, 2018, 12:15 am
I was stuck on tempestuous sex, too! But the remaining letters just didn't make sense!!

skeeter
March 7, 2019, 7:43 pm
Ooh, LLapp, the tempestuous sex of liberty! What a concept!

Persephone59
April 8, 2019, 8:41 pm
Folks, there's nothing to sea here. Move on.

[mistyswiss]

"I hope that after I die, people will say of me 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'"
— Jack Handey

LLapp
May 21, 2015, 1:53 pm
(This was an overheard conversation in a college hallway, seen at overheardinny.com.)
Student 1: "What do you want people to say about you at your funeral?"
Student 2: "Look! He moved!"

[montyb]

"Neurology and psychiatry should be treating the same organ."
— Alice Weaver Flaherty

badbob
August 23, 2018, 1:14 am
is this dirty?
Eureka
February 21, 2019, 12:46 pm
No, I just washed it.

[mistyswiss]

"It is better that ten guilty escape than one innocent suffer."
— William Blackstone


gryhnd51
February 9, 2014, 7:38 pm
Sir William Blackstone KC SL was an English jurist, judge and Tory politician of the eighteenth century. He is most noted for writing the Commentaries on the Laws of England. Wikipedia (1723-1780)

Allen
March 15, 2014, 2:39 am
Yes, and one of his quotes appears in Cryptograms.

LLapp
February 10, 2015, 12:18 pm
I understand he was very popular with the Guilty Party.

[mistyswiss]

"All progress has resulted from people who took unpopular positions."
— Adlai E. Stevenson

montyb
December 23, 2012, 7:49 pm
And that is how you win at Twister.

[mistyswiss]

"There'll be bluebirds over the white cliffs of Dover, Tomorrow, just you wait and see."
— Nat Burton

montyb onJuly 30, 2018, 2:51 pm
How do you think those cliffs got so white?

[Eureka]

(These extended conversations are so charming!)

"Losers quit when they're tired. Winners quit when they've won."
— Unattributed

montyb
June 8, 2012, 12:39 am
So when do you quit when you are not competing?

puzzleme
May 15, 2013, 3:24 am
When it's time for lunch.

montyb
December 19, 2013, 2:24 pm
Of course. How silly of me not to have realized that. Thanks, puzzleme.

puzzleme
March 10, 2015, 5:26 pm
No problem, monty.

Annamariah
December 12, 2015, 5:51 pm
It's funny to see a conversation between two people which took them three years to finish

montyb
January 2, 2016, 2:17 am
We were having lunch, Annamariah. Would you care to join us?

figment
January 9, 2016, 5:10 am
how long is this lunch taking?!? :O

maradnu
September 17, 2016, 3:11 pm
Well, it was still going on some four years later

LLapp
October 23, 2016, 2:17 pm
Would you care to see our dessert menu? The pies were all baked fresh in 2012.

miawallace
May 1, 2017, 9:35 pm
Yes, and I would like ice cream on top, assuming it hasn't gotten freezer burn by now.

[Fudi]

"The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer."
— Victor Borge

PianoManGidley
January 22, 2011, 3:23 am
And the difference between a bassoon and a trampoline is that you take off your shoes to jump on the trampoline.
matarisa
June 5, 2011, 7:38 pm
Oh dear.
LLapp
May 29, 2015, 6:44 pm
Heard last weekend from a banjo player: "Perfect pitch is when you throw a banjo through a window and it lands on an accordion."
Beagle
April 27, 2017, 8:42 am
The difference between an oboe and a chain saw is that you could tune a chain saw if you really had to.
skeeter
April 28, 2017, 10:54 am
As someone who plays both instruments, I say Harumph. Actually, I can take a joke, and this is very funny.
writeon
May 17, 2017, 11:00 am
There's no difference between a trumpet and a harmonica. They both sound bad under water.

[Eureka]

"You cannot get anything out of nature or from God by gambling; only out of your neighbor. "
— John Ruskin

puzzleme
July 20, 2015, 5:27 pm
I bet he's right.

GtrZan
October 6, 2015, 5:41 am
I'll take those odds

jason jiujitsu
February 16, 2017, 9:04 am
my neighbor is one bad poker player, too. lol

LLapp
August 11, 2018, 8:08 am
If anybody else is, like I was, wondering about that semicolon that should be a comma, I am sorry to report that the semicolon was indeed there in the original text. Not only that, but he stuck a dash immediately after it. I kid you not.

skeeter
March 9, 2019, 8:21 pm
Well, I'll be dashed!

skeeter
May 30, 2020, 11:24 am
Maybe we can give him a semicolonoscopy.

[oddcouple]

"How can anyone govern a nation that has 246 different kinds of cheese?"
— Charles de Gaulle


maradnu
June 27, 2009, 4:46 pm
And it would be easier if they only had 245?
datagawa
August 22, 2010, 12:23 am
But of curds, there is no whey you can.
Queethebean
July 19, 2012, 7:31 pm
Well, 245, yes--any idiot could govern that. But 246? c'mon---we are only human.
LLapp
December 2, 2015, 6:40 pm
Sweet dreams are made of cheese.
SippyGurl
April 15, 2018, 6:55 pm
i a brie most havartily... dunno with what but wanted to make some cheese noises
jbb33054
December 15, 2018, 12:49 am
63
Ian123
July 19, 2019, 10:10 am
I Camembert it any longer

[Eureka]

"The voice of the majority is no proof of justice. "
— Johann Friedrich von Schiller

GtrZan
January 14, 2016, 6:16 am
hence, true democracy never works. i.e. 2 Wolves and a sheep democratically deciding what's for dinner

darkyr
April 23, 2018, 6:38 am
I'd like to know what the two wolves and a sheep decide on for dinner the second night.

Synonymous
June 12, 2020, 12:40 pm
darkyr Left overs.

[Descifrador]

"It's not good to let any kid near a container that has a skull and crossbones on it, because there might be a skeleton costume inside and the kid could put it on and really scare you."
— Jack Handey


maradnu
April 23, 2009, 12:34 am
I suggest we let him open all the containers with skull & crossbones on them.

LiveLoveLaugh
August 28, 2009, 12:15 am
good plan

debzhaus
April 4, 2011, 10:49 pm
I hate it when that happens.

chopstix
December 15, 2012, 4:21 pm
What is it about Jack Handey that evokes so much irritation? I think it's because he seems to think he's being irreverent, when really he's just inane.

Caution
May 16, 2013, 11:29 am
2 in a row from him.

WRQ9
December 6, 2013, 6:51 am
I have to admit, he is off a lot more than on. Not a bad idea, just a clumsy approach.

maradnu
September 4, 2016, 3:09 pm
He is stupid and cruel without being particularly funny.

letfreedomring
May 14, 2017, 6:35 am
It just isn't funny. I utter a groan as I solve his quotes. I know it's him without looking.

vintage38
April 11, 2018, 8:38 am
38 seconds

DrCryptell
September 2, 2018, 1:14 am
It's more likely he'd drink its contents and scare the ETs taking him to the hospital.

Eureka
November 28, 2018, 4:12 am
Oh, Jack!

imsoeasy
September 5, 2019, 2:05 am
Completed without knowing author. Had a 'that's dumb" reaction to it. Typical Handey. He might occassionally hit the mark, but you've got to have a bent sense of humor to like this guy's typical tripe.

[oddcouple]

"Humanity is the rich effluvium, it is the waste and the manure and the soil, and from it grows the tree of the arts. "
— Ezra Pound


locodad
June 27, 2014, 7:37 am
its against the law to have words like effluvium in the dictionary or at least in a crypto because it mess it up your time
LLapp
March 25, 2015, 1:05 pm
Please don't get up, I'm only effluving through . . .
abra
July 27, 2015, 6:33 pm
For some reason, I knew efffluvium.
maradnu
June 28, 2016, 3:09 pm
He is full of effluvium
MamaB
October 16, 2016, 3:02 am
Fill in the other things first. But do NOT let this create a picture in your mind!
wobray2
October 18, 2016, 12:42 pm
Meet the right people, and it is natural to associate 'humanity' with 'effluvium'
museoffire
January 19, 2017, 3:17 pm
My fastest time ever! 84 seconds
oddcouple
March 4, 2017, 12:21 am
Well, that stinks!
phthelen
August 16, 2017, 7:41 am
Well done, museoffire.
seastar228
November 20, 2017, 1:58 pm
Really slow, but here I am.
mmfs83
July 30, 2018, 3:08 am
I had to try all the remaining letters to get effluvium. We used to live in a village that considered themselves affluent. We old-timers called it effluent because of the failing septic systems.
kb83
February 6, 2019, 3:47 am
And we are each pieces of this?
montyb
November 19, 2019, 7:26 pm
What an arrogant way to say we're all full of s**t.
abra
January 25, 2020, 9:30 pm
I am NOT effluvium.

[LLapp]

"He that hath a trade hath an estate; he that hath a calling hath an office of profit and honor." — Benjamin Franklin

puzzleme
August 9, 2015, 7:19 pm
I didn't know he had such a terrible lisp.

[Eureka]

"We lost because we told ourselves we lost. "
— Leo Tolstoy

bansaisequoia
April 20, 2010, 4:45 pm
Doesn't this sound more like something a basketball coach would say?

montyb
July 26, 2012, 12:53 pm
I'm not certain. As Fyodor Dostoyevsky once said, "Just wait 'til next year."

Queethebean
August 2, 2012, 8:20 pm
But as Chekhov always said, "it ain't over til its over".

jnoodles
May 13, 2013, 9:59 am
Surely our opponents couldn't have won on their own account. God is, after all, on our side.

bansaisequoia
July 12, 2013, 5:30 am
Or, as Yogi Berra said, "If you were to destroy the belief in immortality in mankind, not only love but every living force on which the continuation of all life in the world depended, would dry up at once."

montyb
June 17, 2015, 1:28 pm
That Yogi always cracks me up with his malapropisms.

Persephone59
February 3, 2018, 3:54 pm
On the eve of Super Bowl LII, Solzhenitsyn brought up deflategate....

abra
July 30, 2018, 8:24 am
Great comments, especially bansai.