Classic Comments on the Quote

[Eureka]

Thanks for the laugh, GramBow!

"The Bible has no doubt had much influence in its time, but it provides very few laughs. None, in fact."
— Arthur Smith

Elephino
July 18, 2020, 1:58 pm
grambow would you please quote a few of the best jokes in the bible?

GramBow
August 17, 2020, 11:43 am
You should check out Samson in Judges 16:30. He brought the house down!

[Eureka]

(Apparently, Stephen got the "H" out of there. Thanks for the laughs, montyb.)

"Businesses may come and go, but religion will last forever, for in no other endeavor does the consumer blame himself for product failure."
— Harvard Lampoon

fishbum
November 15, 2011, 6:49 pm
Lamphoon?

montyb
August 26, 2012, 2:39 am
It's a funny storm.

LLapp
April 7, 2015, 4:16 pm
Error: It's "Harvard Lampoon" -- no H. (Though I like Monty's definition.)

montyb
April 25, 2015, 6:46 pm
I agree with LLapp; get the "H" out of there.

LLapp
May 13, 2016, 12:00 pm
monty, you are too witty.

SippyGurl
October 1, 2017, 2:14 pm
lol monty!

RustySkipper
February 14, 2018, 12:01 pm
Karma chameleons come and go also.

[Eureka]

If laughter is the best medicine, I’m going to be very healthy after reading this exchange.

"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing."
— Redd Foxx

montyb
March 29, 2012, 4:51 pm
I hereby vow to consume enough preservative-filled fast ans processed foods that when I die I won't need enbalming.

montyb
July 6, 2014, 3:25 pm
*and*

puzzleme
July 18, 2014, 8:53 pm
Don't you hate it when it takes nearly two years to be able to correct a typo?

SippyGurl
October 17, 2015, 7:28 pm
yah, have a few that need addressing... hit that enter button and go DOH

montyb
September 6, 2016, 11:18 pm
Apparently I only see this quote on even-numbered years.

wvwoman
September 14, 2016, 7:34 pm
montyb, when you're back in 2018, you can fix that one last typo...i'm surprised barnabas hasn't mentioned it!

LLapp
June 23, 2017, 12:37 pm
Wow, good catch, wvwoman!

fishbum
September 25, 2017, 7:24 am
Redd Foxx was not known for is good grammar.

JJ20paws
July 28, 2018, 9:22 am
Shouldn't be lying about dying

Roxanne
August 3, 2018, 12:52 am
Where are you, Monty? Only five months to go ....

darkyr
March 5, 2019, 12:39 am
montyb is busy at the moment consuming preservative-filled fast and processed foods. Please leave a comment and he will respond back to you on his next available visit to this quote.

kb83
May 14, 2019, 4:47 pm
montyb, you missed 2018. I hope you are still consuming enough preservatives.

montyb
February 22, 2020, 11:01 pm
*embalming*

abrown08
October 23, 2020, 10:02 am
There it is. The eight year journey comes to a close.

[LLapp]

Skeeter Verse . . .

"If you have no enemies you are apt to be in the same predicament in regard to friends." — Elbert Hubbard

LLapp
July 14, 2016, 9:07 pm
"I'm partial to the manatee, which emanates no vanity. It swims amidst anemones, and hasn't any enemies." - Jack Prelutsky

kb83
April 6, 2017, 9:56 am
Wonderful , LLapp. Sounds alot like Ogden Nash.

Capy
June 30, 2017, 12:22 am
That is a corollary that does not hold water

skeeter
October 22, 2017, 1:15 pm
"I'm partial to the cryptoquotes, which offer little anecdotes. They get some yes and some no votes. Their addicts find no antidotes." -- Me.

abra
June 18, 2018, 11:39 am
Nice, skeeter. I have no idea why this would be so.

badbob
November 5, 2018, 4:10 am
nice skeeter. have you ever been to Nantucket?

[Eureka]

(Here's to all the timid men out there.)

"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of liberty. "
— Thomas Jefferson

LLapp
July 16, 2015, 12:41 pm
Why would anyone turn down the tempestuous sex of liberty?

montyb
October 15, 2015, 8:36 am
Probably she is as cold as her copper skin, standing out there in the harbor like that.

Deanna48
October 25, 2018, 12:15 am
I was stuck on tempestuous sex, too! But the remaining letters just didn't make sense!!

skeeter
March 7, 2019, 7:43 pm
Ooh, LLapp, the tempestuous sex of liberty! What a concept!

Persephone59
April 8, 2019, 8:41 pm
Folks, there's nothing to sea here. Move on.

[mistyswiss]

"I hope that after I die, people will say of me 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'"
— Jack Handey

LLapp
May 21, 2015, 1:53 pm
(This was an overheard conversation in a college hallway, seen at overheardinny.com.)
Student 1: "What do you want people to say about you at your funeral?"
Student 2: "Look! He moved!"

[montyb]

"Neurology and psychiatry should be treating the same organ."
— Alice Weaver Flaherty

badbob
August 23, 2018, 1:14 am
is this dirty?
Eureka
February 21, 2019, 12:46 pm
No, I just washed it.

[mistyswiss]

"It is better that ten guilty escape than one innocent suffer."
— William Blackstone


gryhnd51
February 9, 2014, 7:38 pm
Sir William Blackstone KC SL was an English jurist, judge and Tory politician of the eighteenth century. He is most noted for writing the Commentaries on the Laws of England. Wikipedia (1723-1780)

Allen
March 15, 2014, 2:39 am
Yes, and one of his quotes appears in Cryptograms.

LLapp
February 10, 2015, 12:18 pm
I understand he was very popular with the Guilty Party.

[mistyswiss]

"All progress has resulted from people who took unpopular positions."
— Adlai E. Stevenson

montyb
December 23, 2012, 7:49 pm
And that is how you win at Twister.

[mistyswiss]

"There'll be bluebirds over the white cliffs of Dover, Tomorrow, just you wait and see."
— Nat Burton

montyb onJuly 30, 2018, 2:51 pm
How do you think those cliffs got so white?

[Eureka]

(These extended conversations are so charming!)

"Losers quit when they're tired. Winners quit when they've won."
— Unattributed

montyb
June 8, 2012, 12:39 am
So when do you quit when you are not competing?

puzzleme
May 15, 2013, 3:24 am
When it's time for lunch.

montyb
December 19, 2013, 2:24 pm
Of course. How silly of me not to have realized that. Thanks, puzzleme.

puzzleme
March 10, 2015, 5:26 pm
No problem, monty.

Annamariah
December 12, 2015, 5:51 pm
It's funny to see a conversation between two people which took them three years to finish

montyb
January 2, 2016, 2:17 am
We were having lunch, Annamariah. Would you care to join us?

figment
January 9, 2016, 5:10 am
how long is this lunch taking?!? :O

maradnu
September 17, 2016, 3:11 pm
Well, it was still going on some four years later

LLapp
October 23, 2016, 2:17 pm
Would you care to see our dessert menu? The pies were all baked fresh in 2012.

miawallace
May 1, 2017, 9:35 pm
Yes, and I would like ice cream on top, assuming it hasn't gotten freezer burn by now.

[Fudi]

"The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer."
— Victor Borge

PianoManGidley
January 22, 2011, 3:23 am
And the difference between a bassoon and a trampoline is that you take off your shoes to jump on the trampoline.
matarisa
June 5, 2011, 7:38 pm
Oh dear.
LLapp
May 29, 2015, 6:44 pm
Heard last weekend from a banjo player: "Perfect pitch is when you throw a banjo through a window and it lands on an accordion."
Beagle
April 27, 2017, 8:42 am
The difference between an oboe and a chain saw is that you could tune a chain saw if you really had to.
skeeter
April 28, 2017, 10:54 am
As someone who plays both instruments, I say Harumph. Actually, I can take a joke, and this is very funny.
writeon
May 17, 2017, 11:00 am
There's no difference between a trumpet and a harmonica. They both sound bad under water.

[Eureka]

"You cannot get anything out of nature or from God by gambling; only out of your neighbor. "
— John Ruskin

puzzleme
July 20, 2015, 5:27 pm
I bet he's right.

GtrZan
October 6, 2015, 5:41 am
I'll take those odds

jason jiujitsu
February 16, 2017, 9:04 am
my neighbor is one bad poker player, too. lol

LLapp
August 11, 2018, 8:08 am
If anybody else is, like I was, wondering about that semicolon that should be a comma, I am sorry to report that the semicolon was indeed there in the original text. Not only that, but he stuck a dash immediately after it. I kid you not.

skeeter
March 9, 2019, 8:21 pm
Well, I'll be dashed!

skeeter
May 30, 2020, 11:24 am
Maybe we can give him a semicolonoscopy.

[oddcouple]

"How can anyone govern a nation that has 246 different kinds of cheese?"
— Charles de Gaulle


maradnu
June 27, 2009, 4:46 pm
And it would be easier if they only had 245?
datagawa
August 22, 2010, 12:23 am
But of curds, there is no whey you can.
Queethebean
July 19, 2012, 7:31 pm
Well, 245, yes--any idiot could govern that. But 246? c'mon---we are only human.
LLapp
December 2, 2015, 6:40 pm
Sweet dreams are made of cheese.
SippyGurl
April 15, 2018, 6:55 pm
i a brie most havartily... dunno with what but wanted to make some cheese noises
jbb33054
December 15, 2018, 12:49 am
63
Ian123
July 19, 2019, 10:10 am
I Camembert it any longer

[Eureka]

"The voice of the majority is no proof of justice. "
— Johann Friedrich von Schiller

GtrZan
January 14, 2016, 6:16 am
hence, true democracy never works. i.e. 2 Wolves and a sheep democratically deciding what's for dinner

darkyr
April 23, 2018, 6:38 am
I'd like to know what the two wolves and a sheep decide on for dinner the second night.

Synonymous
June 12, 2020, 12:40 pm
darkyr Left overs.