Classic Comments on the Quote

[ravenclaws62442]

"The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him." - Robert Benchley


bansaisequoia
July 10, 2010, 3:31 am
Robert Benchley's a monkey! Robert Benchley's a monkey!

montyb
February 21, 2012, 10:36 pm
May I quote you on that?

Barnabas
December 4, 2012, 9:08 pm
Most of the time, calling me a monkey is an insult to the monkey.

henrietta
July 24, 2013, 3:58 am
...ah, but it works!

marnita
June 7, 2015, 11:50 am
A lot of monkeys on this site!

montyb
December 28, 2016, 7:59 am
"Oo, oo! Ee, ee!" And you may quote me.

[oddcouple]

"Spouse: someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single."
— Unattributed


fishbum
November 4, 2013, 8:36 am
Heh-heh.
abra
September 5, 2015, 12:04 pm
Nah.
ronasid
September 22, 2015, 1:09 pm
Scouse: Someone who'll never let you walk alone
marnita
September 24, 2015, 3:14 pm
I definitely have had a lot less trouble since I took up with my spouse.
Highpoint
December 27, 2015, 7:07 pm
Marnita, same with me. I've had a lot less trouble since you took up with your spouse.
abra
August 7, 2016, 2:54 pm
I was just saying the other day, that it was a real turning point in my life, when marnita took up with her spouse.
kb83
July 26, 2018, 6:38 am
Sounds like Ambrose Bierce.
jbb33054
December 23, 2018, 12:46 pm
83
djgoossen
May 15, 2020, 12:37 pm
I've always had troubles after acquiring a spouse. Probably because it's always someone else's spouse.
318WOZ
February 27, 2021, 8:23 am
Funny coincidence. I was just addressing the general assembly the other day, and the topic was troubles I no longer have after Marnita took up with her spouse.
hrossa
April 24, 2021, 3:16 pm
I'm thankful for Marnita's spouse, myself.
blueladyblue
August 17, 2021, 8:12 pm
Let's all hope marnita doesn't take down her spouse.
gryhnd51
December 19, 2021, 3:28 am
Marnita, I love your spouse ALMOST as much as I love mine! You folks are just too funny sometimes...

[oddcouple]

"Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. "
— Josh Billings

PianoManGidley
February 17, 2011, 11:53 am
Kill the silence. SILENCE! I KILL YOU!!
saipanwriter
September 15, 2014, 1:24 am
Used by passive aggressive individuals...
QuexUl
November 14, 2014, 1:30 pm
.......
LLapp
April 18, 2015, 2:34 pm
I always think very loud dish-washing is an excellent rebuttal.
universalmom
May 25, 2015, 3:54 pm
LLapp, that's a great idea
abra
July 13, 2015, 10:38 am
I am sometimes accused of loud dish washing or emptying of the dishwasher, When I am innocent of the crime.
LLapp
May 28, 2016, 7:06 pm
Omigosh, there's a community of loud dish-washing! How reassuring.
Wordigo
May 22, 2020, 11:52 am
Careful. Loud dishwashing can turn into dish crashing and eventually into dish trashing.
hrossa
April 10, 2021, 10:33 pm
Loud dishwashing is not all that informative. Unless the message is, I'm washing dishes and you're not!
LLapp
July 2, 2021, 4:30 am
Actually, that often IS the message.

[oddcouple]

Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age. "
— Groucho Marx


JJ20paws
December 31, 2015, 10:28 am
When did you grow the 'stache?
maradnu
April 5, 2017, 2:20 pm
He was born with it
lertsek
June 29, 2018, 6:12 pm
It could be said that cavemen were born at a very early age.
Persephone59
April 8, 2019, 8:39 pm
I hadn't seen this one before. Nice chuckle.
badbob
June 22, 2019, 7:07 am
his best quote IMHO is "i would never join an organization that would accept me as a member"

[oddcouple]

"Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to one thing till it gets there. "
— Josh Billings


maradnu
March 18, 2009, 1:04 am
Insipid.
Allen
October 15, 2013, 3:13 am
Insipid/Outsipid--you solved the quote, good for you.
puzzler86
April 26, 2014, 5:50 pm
52 seconds
montyb
August 7, 2014, 3:03 pm
I was considering the "hostage stamp" for awhile.
Jalapenoman
July 29, 2015, 2:38 pm
I also had hostage for a time.
oddcouple
January 3, 2016, 9:49 am
Wouldn't it be great to see Billings on a US postage stamp?
RustySkipper
March 30, 2017, 11:36 am
You're joshing me!
SuzyToo
October 27, 2017, 5:14 am
Yes, but does the stamp consider itself to be a success?
Persephone59
May 15, 2018, 8:47 pm
I have some postage stamps in my drawer at work, and they're very clandestine. They never give away their thoughts.
ruxpin66
June 10, 2018, 5:02 am
"Consider the postage stamp, my son. You must make sure to be licked before going anywhere."
imsoeasy
December 23, 2018, 2:52 pm
I've got nothing to say about postage stamps except they ought to come in different flavors.
blueladyblue
March 27, 2020, 8:54 pm
So if I put glue on my hands and start a project I'll stick to it? Thanks..
jbb33054
January 7, 2021, 7:16 pm
83
DrCryptell
July 25, 2021, 4:35 am
Thus I'll consider wearing an American flag decal on my forehead as I set out on my next daunting task.
Majka
November 16, 2021, 10:55 pm
Fortunately, we don't have to lick postage stamps any more.

[abra]

"Though a tree grow ever so high, the falling leaves return to the ground."
— Malayan Proverb

Don't miss Synonymous's comment.


wobray
November 30, 2012, 10:16 pm
Wouldn't "grows" be more appropriate here?
CarpeLanam
March 15, 2013, 8:28 pm
This demonstrates the traditional use of the subjunctive mood for conditional statements, although it has fallen into disuse in modern English.
abra
October 20, 2013, 6:36 pm
I'm in awe.
abra
March 11, 2015, 11:51 am
I'm still in awe, of Carpelanam, not the proverb.
universalmom
June 18, 2015, 10:22 am
Spoken like a true Latin scholar, Carpe
blueladyblue
February 5, 2018, 1:08 pm
I don't like autumn. Dead things, even leaves, make me sad. Though.
LLapp
June 12, 2019, 5:26 pm
What makes the sentence subjunctive is that it's setting up a hypothetical situation. The subjunctive mood is the mood of possible or imagined reality, rather than actual fact. The implied word "might" fits in this one -- "Though a tree might grow ever so high" -- and there you have the "possible reality" setup.
mohamm1
December 13, 2020, 11:41 pm
Though a crypto solve take ever so long... 278 seconds.
NoiseLTD
September 30, 2021, 12:34 pm
wobray CarpeLanam's comment was in response to yours. The verb "grow" is subjunctive. It's like "God bless America." It's not imperative, "God, bless America!", giving God an order. More the sense of "May God bless America." "God blesses America." is indicative mood.
Synonymous
March 30, 2022, 10:04 pm
(Raised Hand) Can I go to the bathroom?

[oddcouple]

Abra is the star of this one.

"You are the most beautiful girl that has ever lived, and it is worth dying to have kissed you."
— Dylan Thomas


abra
April 8, 2012, 4:11 am
WOW!
abra
August 29, 2012, 6:39 pm
It still made me say "wow".
tskaggs6
September 13, 2012, 9:57 pm
She may indeed be that beautiful. But if I gotta die I'm thinking I'd like more than a kiss.
bansaisequoia
October 30, 2012, 4:13 pm
Wow. He's really confused about my gender. Come to think of it, he's never kissed me.
wjjmcjr
June 7, 2013, 11:45 pm
CAN I HAVE HER NUMBER?
WRQ9
June 9, 2013, 6:42 pm
A vision of perfection with a trail of corpses, entropy's shining example. Hiroshima, all over again. I saw the movie in stead.
abra
July 2, 2014, 11:07 am
I didn't remember this quote, and I was about to write "wow", when I saw I'd said that, twice before.
msswitch
July 21, 2014, 6:27 am
madness....
LLapp
October 8, 2014, 12:57 pm
This from the man who lined up 18 shots of whiskey and drank them and died the next day.
abra
October 23, 2014, 5:06 pm
Well, maybe he kissed HER, between shots 12 and 13.
ruxpin66
January 22, 2016, 5:26 pm
Abra, since you're here almost weekly, I thought I'd say hello.
abra
May 22, 2016, 1:12 pm
I;m back ruxspin, hello. Bansai's comment is way up there, but it's REALLY funny.
abra
July 16, 2018, 6:51 pm
I'm back, and I'm leaving a tray of cookies in the corner. It's starting to feel like ''my'' place. ;o)
puzzleme
November 24, 2018, 3:55 pm
Abra, I think it's time for you to move on. Dylan's been dead since 1953.
abra
December 26, 2018, 6:11 pm
Oh, but in my heart he's alive and saying beautiful things. I brought wine to go with the cookies.
imsoeasy
April 24, 2020, 1:54 pm
If he drank that much, I wouldn't trust his vision of beauty.
abra
October 1, 2020, 10:05 pm
I think we used to have a recording of A Child's Christmas in Wales. I just had to go listen to a little bit of it on Youtube. This time I read the Death section on Wiki. He was a very ill man. Besides being a serious alcoholic, he had emphysema, he had pneumonia when he died. How horrible that he died so young.
imsoeasy
April 17, 2021, 10:38 am
A great pickup line. Along with his boyish good looks he must have been hitting close to 1000.
abra
September 24, 2021, 1:58 am
I sort of glanced at the source and I was thinking ''this really doesn't sound like Bob Dylan''. I've restocked the wine, and washed the glasses.
LLapp
September 29, 2021, 12:39 am
Abra sure knows how to throw a party! (Never mind the dead poet in the corner.)
Descifrador
June 4, 2022, 3:27 am
I guess he found out the girl had bacterial meningitis.

[oddcouple]

Abra made me laugh on this one:

"When I walk with you I feel as if I had a flower in my buttonhole."
— William M. Thackeray


abra
May 5, 2012, 2:13 pm
Awww, kind of sweet.
abra
April 2, 2013, 9:26 pm
I still think it's sweet.
abra
December 14, 2013, 11:35 am
and still...
abra
February 19, 2014, 1:29 pm
I think there's an echo in here.
montyb
July 30, 2014, 4:21 pm
...in here...in here...in here...in here...
abra
September 18, 2014, 4:52 pm
Wow, ya know, I think this one is kind of sweet.
pegxpeg
December 16, 2015, 11:10 am
I'm glad it was buttonhole, or these comments would have gone in a different direction.
abra
May 2, 2016, 6:49 pm
Well, it's been a while since I've been here.
Hawthorn
December 20, 2016, 1:50 am
I hope he was making that exact face when he said it.
Persephone59
January 23, 2017, 6:15 pm
He looks a bit like Grumpy Cat (Tartar Sauce). But I agree with all those Abras; it is a kind sentiment.
skeeter
February 7, 2017, 2:12 am
Ah . . . the ubiquitous "buttonhole" pattern clenched it for me right away.
marnita
September 3, 2018, 10:41 am
Amazing, Abra has had this one at least 6 times, and I don't recall ever seeing it before.
mtvoyager
December 11, 2018, 6:11 am
abra how much time do you spend doing this?
Elephino
April 14, 2020, 9:38 pm
haha pegxpeg! a flower in one's hole would make it more difficult to walk... I think
LLapp
June 15, 2020, 1:36 am
mtvoyager, you have asked a forbidden question.
marnita
December 1, 2020, 7:05 pm
Well, I still don't remember seeing it before, so who knows how many times I may have seen it?
imported_bees
April 25, 2021, 7:25 am
My comments are secretly to myself to say "yes you have seen this before" I certainly never recognize them in time to improve my time.70/288
abra
October 9, 2021, 10:41 pm
He's played by Miles Jupp, in The Man Who Invented Christmas. mtvoyager, I probably spend twenty or thirty minutes here a couple of times a week. I just get this one a lot. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. )
Celsus
October 16, 2021, 10:58 pm
BUTTON hole. [Head smack] I've been putting it in the wrong spot.

[LLapp]

"The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the betterment of life." — Henry Ford

blueladyblue
February 4, 2018, 1:08 pm
Whose life? If it's for the betterment of the life of the moneymaker, then yawn, what else is new? And I really don't think most wealthy people are willing to use their money for the betterment of everyone else's life. Sorry, I'm cynical.

jimbo42
November 4, 2018, 7:53 pm
cynical, let's get cynical

Eureka
November 16, 2018, 3:01 am
Let me hear your money talk, your money talk.

[oddcouple]

"The mother-daughter relationship is the most complex."
— Wynonna Judd


montyb
March 18, 2013, 11:33 am
Oh really? Obviously she has never experienced the guy's butt-LaZboy-cable remote relationship.
puzzleme
October 1, 2013, 5:46 pm
Monty, that's not a relationship; that's a menage-a-trois.
geeko321
February 18, 2014, 8:59 am
That's not a menage-a-trois, that's a bonding at the molecular level.
SippyGurl
August 20, 2015, 6:20 pm
that's not a bonding at the molecular level, that's a mother-daughter relationship ??
darkyr
June 5, 2017, 10:56 am
If only Wynonna had met you monty, her quote might be so complexly different.
SippyGurl
July 18, 2017, 11:09 am
lol hubs just took the remote and retired to the recliner
montyb
March 5, 2018, 12:34 pm
Your hubby is my kind of guy, SippyGurl!
mistyswiss
March 12, 2018, 11:51 pm
Monty, whatever that relationship is - it's not complex.
jbb33054
November 2, 2018, 8:34 am
31
rnodding
December 28, 2018, 10:28 am
30
jbb33054
January 27, 2019, 3:23 am
43
skeeter
March 10, 2019, 9:09 pm
These last three comments are deep, man, deep.
mohamm1
June 4, 2019, 4:03 am
Had to Google this one.
montyb
June 24, 2019, 10:54 pm
Wait Misty, 532 channels is not complex?! Then there is that SD/HD decision.
RedEnoch
March 31, 2022, 1:58 am
Especially when you throw in concert tours, publishing and performance rights, music industry lawyers, various exes and THEIR lawyers…

[LLapp]

"You are not going to change the minds of people who are looking for attention." — Buzz Aldrin

Eureka
November 11, 2018, 3:04 am
I need more context to understand what he means.

Eureka
February 18, 2019, 9:09 am
Look at me!!!

Eureka
May 28, 2019, 10:28 am
That Eureka. Always looking for attention!

Eureka
October 16, 2019, 12:05 pm
This comment section is for Eureka only. No others need apply.

Eureka
November 17, 2019, 10:22 am
Glad to see that everyone is towing the line.

puffybob
November 27, 2019, 3:45 am
My guess is that he was referring to moon landing deniers. So instead, he punches them in the face. (link) (Sorry, Eureka, I couldn't resist posting the link.)

318WOZ
January 30, 2020, 10:21 pm
I'm delighted, Eureka! You held the floor here for over a year!

hrossa
June 20, 2020, 9:30 pm
I've found it!

abra
September 13, 2021, 7:54 pm
Thanks for holding the fort, Eureka. That was amazing. I'm paying rapt attention.

hrossa
June 17, 2022, 10:12 am
Now I don't remember what I'd found. Come back, Eureka!

[LLapp]

"Women are never disarmed by compliments; men always are." — Oscar Wilde

kb83
November 29, 2016, 11:57 am
Venus de Milo was.

[oddcouple]

"The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments."
— Mad Magazine


nevadasmith68
July 31, 2013, 3:45 pm
HAHA--True!
montyb
December 30, 2013, 2:43 pm
What about white elephants?
LLapp
September 27, 2014, 5:03 pm
Yes - a quote from MAD! More, please.
gryhnd51
April 12, 2015, 9:10 pm
So true....so sad.
opallady
August 29, 2017, 11:00 am
You can get all the things you seek/ For a dollar down and a dollar a week.
Persephone59
January 21, 2018, 9:36 pm
I tried to hide it from the neighbors, but it kept trumpeting from the back yard!
vintage38
March 12, 2018, 7:13 am
35 seconds
blueladyblue
April 22, 2018, 9:49 am
Mad is not right. My elephant only cost peanuts. Still, I had to put it on layaway at Walmart. When I finally brought it home, I put it in the backseat of my car and the trunk in the trunk.
letfreedomring
August 16, 2019, 5:53 pm
My first job in HS was in a credit department of a major department store. I leaned about credit accounts before I graduated and throughout my life found ways to get a zero % interest card to effect changes needed to my home. Suze Orman is right when she tells people to get rid of their credit card debt.
Synonymous
February 4, 2021, 10:42 pm
blueladyblue very funny...
jbb33054
April 2, 2021, 7:24 pm
34
abra
September 14, 2021, 8:44 pm
It would scare me to have credit card debt. Suze is a smart woman. Credit cards are very convenient, but don't stack up the debt.
jbb33054
November 15, 2021, 6:40 pm
49
figmo
March 16, 2022, 4:51 pm
Even better, if you can figure out which MAD writer wrote the quote, it'd be great! A friend of mine was a Senior Editor of MAD for more than half of its existence.

[LLapp]

The disappearing first comment...

"What should a wise person do when given a blow? Same as Cato when he was attacked; not fire up or revenge the insult, or even return the blow, but simply ignore it." — Seneca

chopstix
October 16, 2012, 2:36 am
Very observant of you MissLynx... and it's still there!

Allen
October 22, 2013, 1:25 pm
What would we do without Miss Lynx's observation?

CarpeLanam
April 16, 2017, 11:14 am
From "De Constantia Sapientis (the firmness of a wise man)" "'At sapiens colapho percussus quid faciet?' Quod Cato, cum illi os percussum esset: non excanduit, non uindicauit iniuriam, ne remisit quidem, sed factam negauit; maiore animo non agnouit quam ignouisset." Cato, the quintessential Stoic philosopher, was once accidentally struck by a stranger in the bath, who apologized profusely. But Cato rose above the potential insult and ignored it, to his own and the stranger's benefit. This was quite a fun quote to research!

SippyGurl
September 5, 2018, 2:46 am
what became of MissLynx's observation?

Fudi
January 29, 2020, 12:21 pm
It was given a blow, apparently. We should ignore it, I guess.

Synonymous
May 20, 2020, 12:43 am
SippyGurl, She's now the Missing Lynx.

[LLapp]

"What harsh judges fathers are to all young men!" — Terence

montyb
November 25, 2019, 8:09 am
I always tried to be fair and supportive to my son, Prisoner 694322.