Classic Comments on the Quote

[oddcouple]

"The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments."
— Mad Magazine


nevadasmith68
July 31, 2013, 3:45 pm
HAHA--True!
montyb
December 30, 2013, 2:43 pm
What about white elephants?
LLapp
September 27, 2014, 5:03 pm
Yes - a quote from MAD! More, please.
gryhnd51
April 12, 2015, 9:10 pm
So true....so sad.
opallady
August 29, 2017, 11:00 am
You can get all the things you seek/ For a dollar down and a dollar a week.
Persephone59
January 21, 2018, 9:36 pm
I tried to hide it from the neighbors, but it kept trumpeting from the back yard!
vintage38
March 12, 2018, 7:13 am
35 seconds
blueladyblue
April 22, 2018, 9:49 am
Mad is not right. My elephant only cost peanuts. Still, I had to put it on layaway at Walmart. When I finally brought it home, I put it in the backseat of my car and the trunk in the trunk.
letfreedomring
August 16, 2019, 5:53 pm
My first job in HS was in a credit department of a major department store. I leaned about credit accounts before I graduated and throughout my life found ways to get a zero % interest card to effect changes needed to my home. Suze Orman is right when she tells people to get rid of their credit card debt.
Synonymous
February 4, 2021, 10:42 pm
blueladyblue very funny...
jbb33054
April 2, 2021, 7:24 pm
34
abra
September 14, 2021, 8:44 pm
It would scare me to have credit card debt. Suze is a smart woman. Credit cards are very convenient, but don't stack up the debt.
jbb33054
November 15, 2021, 6:40 pm
49
figmo
March 16, 2022, 4:51 pm
Even better, if you can figure out which MAD writer wrote the quote, it'd be great! A friend of mine was a Senior Editor of MAD for more than half of its existence.

[LLapp]

The disappearing first comment...

"What should a wise person do when given a blow? Same as Cato when he was attacked; not fire up or revenge the insult, or even return the blow, but simply ignore it." — Seneca

chopstix
October 16, 2012, 2:36 am
Very observant of you MissLynx... and it's still there!

Allen
October 22, 2013, 1:25 pm
What would we do without Miss Lynx's observation?

CarpeLanam
April 16, 2017, 11:14 am
From "De Constantia Sapientis (the firmness of a wise man)" "'At sapiens colapho percussus quid faciet?' Quod Cato, cum illi os percussum esset: non excanduit, non uindicauit iniuriam, ne remisit quidem, sed factam negauit; maiore animo non agnouit quam ignouisset." Cato, the quintessential Stoic philosopher, was once accidentally struck by a stranger in the bath, who apologized profusely. But Cato rose above the potential insult and ignored it, to his own and the stranger's benefit. This was quite a fun quote to research!

SippyGurl
September 5, 2018, 2:46 am
what became of MissLynx's observation?

Fudi
January 29, 2020, 12:21 pm
It was given a blow, apparently. We should ignore it, I guess.

Synonymous
May 20, 2020, 12:43 am
SippyGurl, She's now the Missing Lynx.

[LLapp]

"What harsh judges fathers are to all young men!" — Terence

montyb
November 25, 2019, 8:09 am
I always tried to be fair and supportive to my son, Prisoner 694322.

[LLapp]

"The honorable gentleman had better spare his interrogations if they are as senseless as that one." — Charles Tupper

Eureka
December 1, 2018, 11:12 am
This quote definitely needs context to make any sense.

kb83
April 22, 2019, 3:12 pm
The argument was over someone questioning the concept of storing foods in plastic.

abra
October 6, 2019, 5:34 pm
LOL, my mom was a Tupperware lady for decades.

kb83
January 20, 2020, 1:12 pm
Actually he was a Canadian Statesman and a "father of confederation," i.e. of unifying the British colonies in North America. He coined the phrase "Keep a lid on it."

Eureka
October 16, 2020, 9:36 pm
LOL kb83!

[LLapp]

"All things may be bought in Rome with money. " — Juvenal

maradnu
November 23, 2013, 8:08 am
Most places, for that matter.

LLapp
October 23, 2015, 7:30 am
Without context, I wonder whether he meant that even political influence could be bought or that you can't go into town and expect to be buying things with chickens.

judy100
November 30, 2015, 12:40 pm
Money talked 2000 yrs ago, and talks louder now.

Persephone59
October 11, 2017, 1:10 am
Love, sex, political influence. People, too, I suppose (slaves). The usual.

judy100
March 31, 2018, 11:12 pm
Silence too.

imsoeasy
December 11, 2018, 1:23 am
I've been to Rome. They used to accept chickens, now its Euros.

Wordigo
August 12, 2020, 9:46 pm
Follow the money.

Ian123
May 4, 2022, 1:26 am
Follow the chickens.

[LLapp]

"Tell us your phobias, and we will tell you what you are afraid of." — Robert Benchley

DrCryptell
June 27, 2019, 2:19 am
Tell me your name and I will tell you how they call you to dinner.

blueladyblue
August 6, 2019, 4:53 pm
Tell me your height and I will tell you how tall you are.

montyb
September 15, 2021, 2:50 pm
Tell me your bank account number and I’ll get back to you later.

[LLapp]

"People have always scared me a bit - they're so complicated. I suppose that's why I prefer horses." — Separate Tables

kb83
April 24, 2015, 3:41 am
Who is Mr. or Ms. Tables?

montyb
August 5, 2015, 2:28 am
I don't know, but I believe they are now separated.

SippyGurl
September 26, 2015, 4:16 pm
Seppy, for short

BriddlesBob
December 1, 2015, 10:08 am
Well, the bit in the horses mouth is complicated and scary too!

wvwoman
June 20, 2018, 1:14 pm
wiki says: Separate Tables is a 1958 American drama film starring Rita Hayworth, Deborah Kerr, David Niven, Burt Lancaster, and Wendy Hiller, based on two one-act plays by Terence Rattigan that were collectively known by this name. Niven and Hiller won Academy Awards for their performances. The picture was directed by Delbert Mann and adapted for the screen by Rattigan, John Gay and an uncredited John Michael Hayes. Mary Grant and Edith Head designed the film's costumes.

mtvoyager
December 28, 2018, 7:31 am
I remember that movie.

abra
October 12, 2019, 4:00 pm
I don't know if I ever saw it, but I do remember that there was such a movie.

blueladyblue
June 27, 2020, 6:51 pm
I think Separate Tables was married to Patio Tables. Their children, Dinner and Multiplication, went on to great careers -- one was a chef and the other a zookeeper. We can't always live up to our name.

kb83
November 22, 2020, 8:43 pm
great retort, Montyb!

Jrdad
March 24, 2022, 1:38 pm
Separate's brothers, Billiard, Craps, and Turnthe, worked for the Mob in Vegas.

[Eureka]

(Sometimes an author's name elicits some pretty funny comments, too! )

"Keep some souvenirs of your past, or how will you ever prove it wasn't all a dream?"

— Ashleigh Brilliant

kb83
January 16, 2017, 5:49 am
He had siblings Oddleigh, Naturalleigh, and Simpleigh.

SippyGurl
March 3, 2017, 7:14 pm
...and the runt of the litter, hardleigh

[oddcouple]

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours. "
— Wayne Dyer

drebosy4eto
March 9, 2015, 9:51 am
Damn... I always thought that "karma" is written with "c" in English. I would have been so much faster if I knew it... Oh, well...
montyb
May 1, 2016, 11:26 am
Karma's a bitkh, man.
killdozer
August 15, 2016, 7:06 pm
My dogma got run over by my karma.
maradnu
May 10, 2017, 2:41 pm
Karma is such a chameleon
pickleball
November 2, 2021, 9:31 pm
hahaha
blueladyblue
February 12, 2022, 5:58 pm
LOL monty. You've kome a long way as a komedian.

[oddcouple]

"It would not be better if things happened to men just as they wish. "
— Heraclitus


kat
February 21, 2009, 6:46 pm
24 sec.
montyb
March 20, 2012, 4:20 pm
Not even once?
universalmom
May 4, 2016, 10:45 am
Hmmmmm, maybe once...
NotTooOld
March 3, 2017, 6:25 am
Three wishes.
toddcmz
March 9, 2017, 5:23 am
"There are many hungers it is better to deny than to feed..."
oddcouple
August 29, 2017, 11:20 pm
A man walks along a beach where he finds an old bottle Remembering the story of Aladdin, he rubs it. Sure enough a genie appears and offers him three wishes in gratitude. The man asks for a brand new sports car. Poof! There it is. Then he wishes for the trunk of the car to be filled with $100 bills. Poof! There it is. He can't think what he wants for his third wish, so he decides to wait until later. He decides to got touring in his car and starts listening to the radio. The jingle comes on "I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener." and he starts singing along. Poof! There it is.
Persephone59
November 15, 2017, 9:31 pm
And they wondered why they found a crashed sports car with only a wienie in it.

[LLapp]

"We need to attend diligently to the state of our soul, and to deal fervently and effectively with God about it." — John Owen

ednak
October 13, 2011, 9:27 am
This is true because we are to work out our own salvation.

jnoodles
July 30, 2013, 1:46 am
Which God?

Allen
August 22, 2014, 11:58 am
The one on the left.

LLapp
May 18, 2016, 5:57 pm
No, not that one. Here, check out my new iGod. It's awesome.

skeeter
November 6, 2017, 11:12 am
Good one, Allen.

MamaB
February 7, 2018, 1:06 pm
Good one, LLapp.

skeeter
March 22, 2019, 10:13 pm
Good one, MamaB.

skeeter
April 30, 2019, 3:46 pm
Good one, skeeter.

NotTooOld
May 28, 2019, 9:57 pm
Good one ednak.

badbob
January 23, 2020, 12:45 pm
good one, badbob

Elephino
April 10, 2020, 1:44 pm
good one John Owen

pickleball
April 18, 2020, 7:23 pm
good one, god

Wilbur
July 13, 2020, 8:32 pm
Good god

Wordigo
July 17, 2020, 11:30 am
Good.

Persephone59
March 20, 2022, 3:27 am
You sound like some deranged Walton family! Goodnight, John Boy.

[oddcouple]

"I dream of wayward gulls and all landless lovers, rare moments of winter sun, peace, privacy, for everyone."
— William Claire


abra
July 19, 2014, 8:19 am
I first thought he was dreaming of wayward bulls, and that didn't seem particularly soothing, to me.
Dagaz
September 1, 2014, 12:58 am
Abra -- me, too! haha
abra
October 8, 2014, 2:46 pm
Did it again.
dovid1946
March 10, 2015, 11:43 am
I thought the quote was about the running of the wayward bulls in Spain
LLapp
August 12, 2015, 10:52 pm
How am I supposed to get peace and privacy with all these wayward gulls and landless lovers on my front lawn?
tclcac
January 19, 2018, 7:16 pm
I set a new "very slow" record for this one.
lertsek
June 12, 2018, 10:08 pm
I dream of lost birds and renters. Snow blindness and isolation.
bigfatted
September 12, 2018, 1:44 am
I also dreamt of peaceful wayward bulls.
jbb33054
October 22, 2018, 7:59 am
116
pickleball
December 22, 2019, 10:05 pm
i dream of jeannie
LLapp
August 15, 2020, 3:21 am
Wayward bulls!! RUN!!!
MadDoctor
March 1, 2021, 2:04 pm
Wayward gulls are a nightmare, not a dream.
hrossa
August 28, 2021, 12:09 pm
Plus it's just bad poetry.

[LLapp]

This is why I love this website!

"In human life there is constant change of fortune; and it is unreasonable to expect an exemption from the common fate. Life itself decays, and all things are daily changing." — Plutarch

skoogie2
January 24, 2014, 1:56 am
to everything, turn, turn, turn

montyb
February 23, 2014, 2:18 pm
...there is a season, turn, turn, turn...

wordfairy
September 28, 2014, 8:41 pm
...and a time for every purpose under heaven...

abra
August 17, 2015, 10:59 am
A time to be born, and a time to die A time to plant, and a time to reap...

opallady
September 26, 2015, 11:33 am
A time to kill, a time to heal. A time to laugh, a time to weep.

wvwoman
October 31, 2015, 1:53 pm
a time to build up, a time to break down a time to dance, a time to mourn...

LizardLeap
January 23, 2016, 9:52 am
a time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together...

emtonsti
August 4, 2016, 10:34 am
to everything turn, turn, turn

wvwoman
October 17, 2016, 10:30 am
a time of love, a time of hate a time of war, a time of peace a time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing...

LLapp
September 21, 2017, 1:44 pm
A time to gain, a time to lose, a time to rend, a time to sow, a time for love, a time for hate...

Jalapenoman
September 26, 2017, 1:37 pm
A time for peace, I swear it's not too late!

Persephone59
August 9, 2018, 4:04 pm
Stop it, aging hippies! Stop it! lol

Eureka
January 12, 2019, 3:51 am
True then and true now.

oddcouple
October 28, 2019, 9:17 am
Ah, yes, The Byrds back in the 60s. And the Bible a few thousand years before that.

Jrdad
October 22, 2020, 10:44 am
That was a real Kumbaya moment. See, we can do it!

[LLapp]

"The impossible can always be broken down into possibilities." — Unattributed

CCCookie
October 31, 2018, 10:52 am
So, if I want to live on the surface of the sun that can somehow be done if I just break the problem down into small enough pieces? Somehow I can't buy into that.

DaveR
October 22, 2019, 3:32 pm
Easier to live on the surface of the sun at night time.

[LLapp]

Darwin thread, Part II
(Continued from previous post)

montyb
November 11, 2017, 3:30 am
The human eye actually has some major design flaws which interfere with its efficiency. The retina is backwards with the light-sensitive parts of the rod and cone cells toward the back of the retina such that light has to pass through the nerve fibers exiting these cells and also the entire length of the the cell before the optic pigments can capture what light energy makes it through this mess. Also, the nerve fibers group together and exit the eye to form the optic nerve at a point perilously close to the area of the retina that provides the sharpest vision. This is the "blind spot" that interferes with our vision.

blueladyblue
June 6, 2018, 9:44 am
Well said, LLapp and monty! Natural selection has produced a lot of errors, which tends to prove Darwin's theory. If it was a case of Perfect Design with a "Plan," why would the Designer create imperfection and flawed results? I know people who believe in a deity will answer that it's all part of the "Plan," that their god has a "Purpose." But with this type of logic, ALL things can be explained, i.e., that there is some secret reason for ... (whatever it is). Go ahead and Believe, but you can't say that the existence of a deity is "Proven" by all other existence.

Deanna48
October 12, 2018, 4:50 am
"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands."---Psalm 19:1

abra
November 15, 2018, 7:24 am
She's not just lightening fast ^.

darkyr
March 4, 2019, 6:27 pm
The platinum rule is : "Do unto others as they would have you do unto them, not as you would have them do unto you."

Persephone59
June 24, 2019, 12:03 am
Are you going to give them a long questionnaire?

imsoeasy
July 10, 2019, 12:29 am
"Yesterday, I discovered That we are infinitely insignificant and that time, as we know it, is an illusion. Yesterday, I wondered, "What is left?" This morning, I awoke to hear birds voices in the trees, in the cool fresh air. The dog stretched and yawned in the new morning sun." - My Shadow

zengard
September 9, 2019, 3:13 pm
I am always amazed that 2 people can get back to the same puzzle to carry on a good discussion.

killdozer
October 9, 2019, 9:58 pm
Darwin was essentially saying the universe looks exactly the way we would expect it to if there was no God. And he is correct. Morality is a biological property. As a social species, humans are selected or traits which facilitate the survival an stability of a population. We are hardwired for things like nurturing of young (even if they are not our own biological offspring), pair-bonding, group-bonding, empathy, altruism, etc. We inherit those traits genetically. We can't get rid of them even if we want to. If you have kids, did anybody have to tell you to love them or did you just love them instantly, automatically and permanently? That is inherited. That is evolution. That doesn't make it any less beautiful. Knowing why something tastes good to you on a biological level doesn't stop it from tasting good or make the experience less meaningful, even if it is ultimately subjective. You might ask about individuals who seem to clearly lack empathy or other of those "moral" traits I was talking about. We call those people "sociopaths." The empathic response, which is not yet developed at birth, begins to develop in early childhood, around three or four. For some people, it never happens. A lot of research shows a correlation with early trauma, especially if it involves witnessing violence against others. A child who sees a parent consistently abuse siblings or the other parent will begin to suppress the empathic response as an emotional survival mechanism. Unfortunately, once it's shut down, it appears to shut down permanently and stop developing. It's like an emotional blindness. They don't feel emotions about other people. They do not have feelings of guilt or remorse. They are not necessarily violent or abusive (the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath is impulse control), but they are. in a sense, emotionally handicapped. The wiring for empathic response is genetic, but that part o the brain can still be stunted or damaged in its development. Evolution does not require that every member of a species share a given trait, just that more of them do than don't. Time does the rest. Over time, the ones who have the beneficial trait will produce more descendants than the ones that don't (that is pretty much the definition of a "beneficial" trait). After enough generations, the entire population will have the trait or at least get the gene. It's a statistical, mathematical certainty. The house always wins. There are always imperfect duplications of genes (that's what "mutations" are). so you can always get somebody born without something, or have it damaged, etc. but it doesn't affect the overall gene pool. There are people who are born colorblind, for example, but that doesn't mean the ability to see color is not a biological trait of the species.

oddcouple
October 21, 2019, 4:18 am
Another essay from killdozer. Too long for anyone to read if they want to move on to the next puzzle.

LLapp
November 1, 2019, 2:37 am
I read it -- it flowed pretty well and wasn't hard to read. Killdozer's point, I think, was that traits of caring and compassion are hardwired into humanity through genetics, and that these traits support our survival as a species.

Persephone59
November 25, 2019, 12:33 am
So, survival of the fittest doesn't have to be a cruel, violent thing... it can occur over many generations to create subtle differences in behaviors, etc, in the majority, enhancing our ability to prosper and survive. Let's hope that climate change becomes more of a genetic fear...

SOLLUVVER
February 22, 2021, 11:18 am
Through my imperfect eyes, with my imperfect vision, I "pity the fool" whose blind ignorance leads them to believe in evolution! "I'm not going to let evolution make a monkey out of me!"

LLapp
June 18, 2021, 5:19 am
After studying the mechanisms of biological evolution and learning the biochemical nuts and bolts of genetic reproduction and mutation, and seeing clear evidence of what I learned taking place all around me, everywhere, it did not take me long at all to be awe-struck by the wonders of biochemistry in the natural world. It was not until well into my adulthood, maybe in my thirties, that I met anyone who claimed not to "believe" in evolution, and I am still baffled by this claim. This is like not believing in arithmetic. The mechanisms of evolution are as plain as day, in physical reality.

montyb
July 28, 2021, 11:37 pm
Not blind ignorance, Solluvver, but an overwhelming preponderance of supporting evidence from many different disciplines of science that all lead to the same explanation — evolution is real. In fact, the world has been dealing with a real-life case of “rapid” evolution of the COVID-19 virus and its many variants for nearly two years now. Maybe if more people properly learned and accepted (not blindly “believed” in the sense you use the term), we might not be suffering from multiple waves of infections and so many mutated variants.

hrossa
August 3, 2021, 5:18 pm
I'm a believer in God who enjoys studying the evidence - I don't see why creation could not have been accomplished through evolution. The fossil record is rich. Either way, does no one else find danger in this statement? Not from Darwin himself, but by extension from the thought that "survival of the fittest" is a logical way for the "fit" to treat "inferiors" in a universe of "blind, pitiless indifference".

rasbury
December 31, 2021, 1:14 am
That does not follow at all. "Fittest" is not a synonym for "superior" in any sense other than more likely to survive. Eugenics is based on a very faulty interpretation of evolution, just as the Crusades and the Inquisition were based on a very unfortunate interpretation of the Gospels, and neither provides a good argument for rejecting their core beliefs. Basically, we're an ignorant species who have no idea how the universe got here or what it's like beyond the still limited part we are able to observe, so some people put the name God on what we don't understand, some deny there is anything beyond what science has discovered, and some of us accept that we have learned a lot through science but that there is a whole lot more we simply don't know.

jnoodles
February 6, 2022, 1:30 pm
100% correct. Easy.