Classic Comments on the Quote

[LLapp]

"When the water reaches the upper level, follow the rats." — Claude Swanson

BrainCellKeeper
September 1, 2014, 7:43 am
That's what they did on the Titanic.

Hash
October 2, 2014, 12:28 am
Yeah, why go down alone?

susanith
July 8, 2017, 12:41 pm
Alas, I had trouble with upper. Did they really follow the rats on the Titanic?

Queethebean
June 9, 2018, 9:58 am
Only the first class rats.

DavidinKenai
August 3, 2018, 11:16 am
To the lobsters in the kitchen, the sinking of the Titanic was a miracle.

badbob
July 5, 2019, 3:01 pm
how do you think the unthinkable? with an ithberg

[Eureka]

That time when all the comments were pure gold.

"Gold cannot be pure, and people cannot be perfect."
— Chinese Proverb

judy100
March 18, 2015, 2:32 am
24K gold is pure.

darkyr
January 9, 2017, 3:02 am
Then it is in direct violation of Chinese Proverbs and must be stopped immediately.

writeon
May 25, 2017, 9:05 pm
So if gold is pure, then people are perfect, and I don't have to keep going to the gym.

Elephino
August 14, 2018, 4:56 pm
Right on, writeon!

MadDoctor
October 31, 2018, 8:00 pm
24K gold is 99.99% pure. Almost, but not quite.

montyb
December 1, 2018, 5:43 am
Writeon, You could go to Gold's Gym.

[oddcouple]

"Caution is a most valuable asset in fishing, especially if you are the fish. "
— Unattributed

bansaisequoia
February 26, 2011, 12:19 pm
This applies to e-mail, too.
bazinga
October 24, 2012, 8:00 pm
and phishing
dovid1946
February 14, 2015, 9:21 am
catch any of those gefilte fish lately?
LLapp
July 1, 2016, 8:41 pm
Gefilte phishing is the worst kind.
ruxpin66
July 11, 2016, 7:58 am
I laugh every time I see your screen name, bazinga. Love it!
obsessedreader8
July 30, 2016, 2:31 am
49 seconds.
darkyr
August 16, 2017, 9:51 am
Though there is nothing like a red herring to keep you busy while you are reading.
skeeter
April 1, 2019, 3:27 pm
I'll mullet over and get back to you.

[oddcouple]

"Three things drive a man outdoors; smoke, a leaking roof and a scolding wife. "
— Proverb


agatha
January 1, 2011, 3:54 pm
Oh, that man again!
montyb
October 20, 2012, 10:44 pm
That's it. I'm outta here!
chopstix
May 8, 2013, 6:24 pm
"The roof's leaking AGAIN 'cause ya didn't patch it good last time!" she exclaimed after lighting up.
montyb
July 22, 2014, 1:00 pm
It isn't "smoldering wife"? I have got to get new glasses.
LLapp
January 1, 2015, 9:03 pm
Not a scalding wife?
saipanwriter
February 9, 2015, 3:21 am
Because if the roof is leaking, it's going to be much better outdoors...
kb83
February 18, 2015, 4:47 am
great comments!
marnita
May 28, 2016, 7:52 am
He will probably have to go outdoors to fix the roof, especially if he wants to forestall the wife's scolding.
universalmom
May 28, 2016, 12:12 pm
Hahaha I had smoldering wife too, or I thought I did
abra
June 22, 2017, 6:47 pm
I thought I had smoldering wife, but when I looked it was actually "smolding". I would think maybe the smoldering wife would keep him indoors.

[oddcouple]

"Children have to be educated, but they have also to be left to educate themselves."
— Abbe Dimnet

Dynamite
March 1, 2009, 8:13 pm
Never a truer quote!
badfrog
April 14, 2009, 4:15 pm
The author is Ernest Dimnet
bansaisequoia
June 23, 2009, 1:18 pm
Abbe is a title for a French clergyman.
montyb
December 24, 2012, 6:33 pm
So if one writes to him for advice, one should write to "Dear Abbe"?
agatha
May 26, 2013, 12:59 am
That's truly funny, monty.
agatha
May 26, 2013, 1:05 am
or should I say Monte
abracadebra
February 23, 2015, 2:10 pm
I believe as long as the both sides are equally balanced then it is morally excepted behavioural learning therapy.
LLapp
February 25, 2015, 6:51 am
How did agatha do that?
wvwoman
July 25, 2015, 4:24 pm
she got the quote twice in one night, llapp.
marnita
March 4, 2016, 8:40 am
I think it is possible to leave two comments, one right after the other, as long as one has not left the page. Maybe I will try it.
marnita
October 31, 2016, 10:30 am
Well, I think it used to be possible, but I guess not any more.
darkyr
December 22, 2016, 4:42 am
I'll just leave the one comment and I think we will all feel better for it.
LLapp
February 28, 2017, 2:01 pm
Look! I made it back! Took a year and a half, but it worked.
LLapp
October 18, 2018, 5:46 pm
^^?? Okay it was 2 years.

[oddcouple]

I'd never heard Maradnu's version. In the story I heard back when I was in college, the brother who survived was shopping for a preacher who would call the deceased man a saint. After approaching every church in town, one pastor finally agreed to call the brother a saint for $10 thousand. The rest of the pastors in town were shocked and attended the funeral just to see for themselves how this pastor could be so dishonest. The pastor in his eulogy carried on for several minutes as to the evils and lies of the deceased brother. Looking straight at the survivor, he said "Jack Thompson was the most evil person I ever knew, but compared to his brother, he was a saint."

Same joke, different religion. Not sure which version is funnier.

[maradnu]

There once were two evil brothers. They were rich and used their money to keep their evil ways from the public eye. They attended the same temple, and to everyone else, they appeared to be perfect Jews.

One day, their rabbi retired and a new one was hired. Not only could the new rabbi see right through the brothers' deceptions, but he also spoke well and true about it. Due to the rabbi's honesty and integrity, the temple's membership grew in numbers. Eventually, a fundraising campaign was started to build a much bigger temple.

All of a sudden, one of the brothers died. The remaining brother sought out the new rabbi the day before the funeral and handed him a check for the amount needed to complete the new building. He held the check for the rabbi to see.

"I have only one condition," he said. "At the funeral, you must say my brother was a mensch. You must say those exact words."

After some thought, the rabbi gave his word and took the check. He cashed it immediately.

At the funeral the next day, however, the rabbi did not hold back. "He was an evil man," he said about the dead brother. "He cheated on his wife and abused his family. Never once did he commit an unselfish act." He railed on and on about the deceased. After nearly a half hour of the evil truth, the rabbi paused and shrugged his shoulders. Finally, he said, "But compared to his brother, he was a mensch."

[Eureka]

Related to Quizzical's quote above, I have a friend who had a no-goodnik (if ever there was one - an abusive drunk/drug addict often in trouble with the law and who cost her a lot more money than he ever contributed to their household) for a husband for a time when she was young - she had two kids with him before he left. A few years later- she'd divorced him using legal reasons of abandonment by then - she got a call from social security saying he'd been found dead (drowned in a puddle after a bar fight - I know, I know, it's like a melodramatic crime novel) and that she was entitled to social security for her kids. She always said that "being dead was the best job he'd ever had." Oh ... there is a happy ending - a few years after that, she met and fell in love with a very nice sane, responsible fellow and they've lived more-or-less happily ever after since ... though her two kids from that marriage (now young adults) didn't fare so well, I'm afraid.

Wow, what a strange turn of events, Fudi. I hope her kids are able to sort their lives out and not follow in their dad's footsteps.

[Fudi]

Related to Quizzical's quote above, I have a friend who had a no-goodnik (if ever there was one - an abusive drunk/drug addict often in trouble with the law and who cost her a lot more money than he ever contributed to their household) for a husband for a time when she was young - she had two kids with him before he left. A few years later- she'd divorced him using legal reasons of abandonment by then - she got a call from social security saying he'd been found dead (drowned in a puddle after a bar fight - I know, I know, it's like a melodramatic crime novel) and that she was entitled to social security for her kids. She always said that "being dead was the best job he'd ever had." Oh ... there is a happy ending - a few years after that, she met and fell in love with a very nice sane, responsible fellow and they've lived more-or-less happily ever after since ... though her two kids from that marriage (now young adults) didn't fare so well, I'm afraid.

[Eureka]

That time when Unattributed was dead wrong.

"A cemetery is the only place where people don't try to keep up with the Joneses. "
— Unattributed

susanj512
February 21, 2009, 7:13 pm
weird!!!

bansaisequoia
April 12, 2010, 10:04 pm
My monument's bigger than your monument.

universalmom
September 23, 2014, 2:33 pm
compensation

montyb
January 3, 2015, 11:21 am
Epitaph envy, Bansai?

Quizzical
January 5, 2015, 3:11 pm
The Joneses are a lot easier to keep up with in there. I knew a lady that used to say of her deceased husband, "At least I know where he is every night now."

skeeter
March 25, 2017, 8:10 am
They just keep up with the boneses.

maradnu
November 12, 2017, 2:22 pm
Bet me. Look at those who have very fancy monuments.

[badbob]

it should be "nor"

[LLapp]

I'm really enjoying the silliness in the comments tonight....

"Reform is not pleasant, but grievous; no person can reform themselves without suffering and hard work, how much less a nation." — Thomas Carlyle

daris_moore
May 26, 2012, 3:28 am
The 'how' does not make sense.

wvwoman
June 14, 2013, 9:28 pm
i agree, the "how" doesn't seem to belong there.

Quizzical
October 28, 2013, 3:33 am
Sounds okay to me. It is just a sentence structure not regularly used today. It is the more complete form, i.e. we normally just leave out the "how".

montyb
January 19, 2015, 2:39 pm
It sounds okay to me, also. But then again, I'm not a structure that is regularly used today either.

abra
December 30, 2015, 5:43 pm
I thought it sounded ok. Maybe I go back far enough that the sentence structure doesn't bother me.

darkyr
August 11, 2017, 4:31 am
How much farther back must you go for it not to be a bother?

vintage38
May 28, 2018, 8:09 am
39 seconds

marnita
July 16, 2018, 12:12 pm
I don't think that's far enough, vintage38.

[LLapp]

"There is no point in arguing about matters of taste." — Unattributed

bansaisequoia
January 30, 2011, 5:27 am
This is in very poor taste.

fishbum
March 16, 2011, 6:27 pm
I don't think so.

pajarito7
October 5, 2011, 1:06 am
Stop arguing and go to your rooms.

SillySil
January 12, 2013, 5:30 pm
OMG Someone beside that bans guy got the fastest time!

abra
July 11, 2014, 4:22 pm
Of course, someone sent that "bans guy" to his room.

Spenser
March 6, 2015, 4:47 am
Tell that to my thirteen-year-old daughter.

universalmom
August 18, 2015, 3:01 pm
Hahaha "that bans guy"

Annamariah
September 10, 2015, 6:26 am
Is there more point arguing about facts?

marnita
December 30, 2015, 4:46 pm
De gustibus non est disputandum.

munchlet
September 23, 2016, 2:39 am
Exactly what I was thinking, Marnita.

abra
February 28, 2017, 8:59 am
Me too, but I had to have it translated first.

Persephone59
August 4, 2017, 11:57 pm
There IS no point in arguing about taste! I'm right and you're wrong!

maradnu
October 8, 2017, 2:24 am
Of course there's a point - it's fun arguing about inane matters that adversely affect no one whatsoever.

[LLapp]

"Ridicule is a weak weapon when pointed at a strong mind; but common people are cowards and dread an empty laugh." — Martin Tupper

abra
August 23, 2013, 2:07 am
Could be, or maybe Mr. Tupper is a bully.

nevadasmith68
September 1, 2013, 1:39 pm
Martin was later hanged at a tupperware party.

abra
December 14, 2014, 12:09 pm
Oh, I hate it when a Tupperware party turns into a hanging.

kb83
November 12, 2015, 4:09 am
This neighborhood is too big for 2 tupperware hosts.

Barnabas
July 8, 2016, 5:01 pm
And what did Martin Tupper wear at the Tupperware party?

Jalapenoman
January 18, 2017, 1:52 pm
Did they remember to burp the seal on Tupper's coffin?

[oddcouple]

"The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen."
— Sarah Brown

kjmcaj
June 19, 2013, 4:15 pm
54 seconds.
GtrZan
October 28, 2013, 4:57 am
that's a good one
chopstix
February 3, 2014, 9:24 am
But there are more than a few who have laid their way to success...
LLapp
December 2, 2016, 11:03 am
So why is "laying an egg" an idiom for failure?
bkmcincinnati
January 8, 2017, 1:41 am
To crow is one thing, but to produce is another. Said the hen to the rooster.
Nollij
October 6, 2017, 4:15 am
And boy did she strain those out while sitting.
killdozer
February 27, 2018, 1:44 pm
The one percent does nothing but profit off the labor of others.
Persephone59
June 3, 2018, 9:53 am
Wow, killdozer, that was a hard one to politicize, but you found a way!
agatejane
August 13, 2018, 11:22 am
I feel like this quote is directed at me.
imsoeasy
December 4, 2018, 12:09 am
Just 1%? Let''s look at the figures +100 % Population in US - 60.6% Employed = 39.4% Not employed - 20 % Means tested Government Assistance - 1 % Those Scum Sucking Capitalists = 18.4% Others not employed (retired, etc.)