Classic Comments on the Quote

[oddcouple]

This one took a little while to get going, but it was worth the wait.

"One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses."
— Dale Carnegie

PianoManGidley
January 3, 2011, 11:31 am
What about peacocks?
WRQ9
February 26, 2013, 10:03 am
He clearly hadn't spent much time with either.
Barnabas
June 11, 2014, 11:04 am
He's not watching the same nature shows I am. Birds will display feathers, colors, dance, etc. to win the affections of a mate. Some will even tidy up their nest.
oddcouple
April 3, 2016, 12:20 pm
I've seen both birds and horses show off to impress.
montyb
November 18, 2016, 6:02 am
I don't think horses are very impressed by peacocks.
SippyGurl
December 24, 2016, 8:16 am
and the mating could be fatal to the peacock
LLapp
November 16, 2017, 7:16 pm
I draw the line at tidying up the nest.

[oddcouple]

"It is a perversely human perception that animals in their native habitat are running wild."
— Robert Brault
kb83
October 16, 2014, 4:17 am
They just do it when we look in on them. Cows actually walk upright when we are not around.
marnita
April 12, 2015, 8:26 am
What would be the native habitat of a cow?
mikehallbackhoe
December 27, 2016, 8:30 pm
frolicking in wild oats
figmo
March 12, 2017, 8:09 am
They wouldn't moooove much.
letfreedomring
May 6, 2017, 11:46 pm
Ugh.
skeeter
February 25, 2018, 10:47 am
What is the native habitat of a cow? Well, the really talented ones are out standing in their field.
pickleball
June 19, 2019, 10:38 pm
kb83 ha ha ha ha ha
abra
November 25, 2019, 10:26 pm
Clever, skeeter.

[LLapp]

"I have long known that it is part of God's plan for me to spend a little time with each of the most stupid people on earth." — Bill Bryson

montyb
April 6, 2012, 8:51 pm
I never met the guy.

puzzleme
May 13, 2013, 5:29 am
Mr. Bryson ain't dead yet, monty. There's still time.

SippyGirl
September 9, 2013, 6:19 am
sounds more like life than a plan. c'mon, no matter how dumb we may be we all manage to spend time with idiots

Bethmarywhite
March 14, 2017, 6:01 am
Does he have a mirror?

abra
July 29, 2017, 10:10 am
Humor he writes humor.

imsoeasy
November 4, 2018, 8:11 am
I am scheduled to meet Bill next Thursday. Am I missing something?

[opallady]

"It is easier to make a saint out of a libertine than out of a prig. "
— George Santayana

Barnabas
May 19, 2014, 12:29 pm
Isn't a prig usually more interested in sculpting you into the form of a saint more so than worrying about his/her own saintliness (which they most likely assume to be not in doubt)?
dovid1946
February 20, 2015, 3:53 am
a great title for a book- 'The Libertine and the Prig'
LLapp
April 10, 2015, 7:23 pm
"Prig" is such a great word.
dovid1946
April 15, 2015, 9:35 am
did you hear about the priggish fellow who secretly liked to dress up like a woman. he finished with his accessories- yes, putting lipstick on a prig.
SippyGurl
January 24, 2016, 11:35 am
prigs in spaaaaaaace
cryptospiridiagram
April 22, 2016, 7:48 am
I'd need to see the methodology of that study.
abra
October 18, 2016, 6:33 pm
When prigs fly.
BriddlesBob
December 20, 2016, 8:01 pm
Most prigs hog the show as the act like a ham
skeeter
November 6, 2017, 7:45 am
And on cold nights, they are prigs in blankets.

[LLapp]

"Even God doesn't plan to judge a man till the end of his days, why should you and I?" — Unattributed

andyd
April 28, 2019, 11:16 pm
I can tell if people are judgmental, just by looking at them.

[LLapp]

"Come live with me, and be my love, And we will some new pleasures prove Of golden sands, and crystal brooks, With silken lines, and silver hooks." — John Donne

wvwoman
July 24, 2012, 12:19 pm
oh, he was the sweet talker!

chopstix
December 21, 2012, 3:34 am
I hope he only used this poem once.

maradnu
September 11, 2013, 8:43 am

The Passionate Shepherd to His Love

by Christopher Marlowe 1599

Come live with me and be my love,
And we will all the pleasures prove
That valleys, groves, hills, and fields
Woods or steepy mountain yields

And we will sit upon the rocks,
Seeing the shepherds feed their flocks
By shallow rivers to whose falls
Melodious birds sing madrigals.

And I will make thee beds of roses
And a thousand fragrant posies,
A cap of flower, and a kirtle
Embroidered all with leaves of myrtle;

A gown made of the finest wool
Which from our pretty lambs we pull;
Fair lined slippers for the cold
With buckles of the purest gold;

A belt of straw and ivy buds,
With coral clasps and amber studs;
And if these pleasures may thee move,
Come live with me and be my love.

The shepherds' swains shall dance and sing
For thy delight each May morning:
If these delights thy mind may move,
Then live with me and be my love.

The Nymph's Reply to the Shepherd

by Sir Walter Raleigh 1600

If all the world and love were young,
And truth in every shepherd's tongue,
These pretty pleasures might me move
To live with thee and be thy love.

Time drives the flocks from field to fold,
When rivers rage and rocks grow cold;
And Philomel becometh dumb;
The rest complain of cares to come.

The flowers do fade, and wanton fields
To wayward winter reckoning yields;
A honey tongue, a heart of gall,
Is fancy's spring, but sorrow's fall.

Thy gowns, thy shoes, thy bed of roses,
Thy cap, thy kirtle, and thy posies,
Soon break, soon wither, soon forgotten,
In folly ripe, in reason rotten.

Thy belt of straw and ivy buds,
Thy coral clasps and amber studs,
All these in me no means can move
To come to thee and be thy love.

But could youth last and love still breed,
Had joys no date nor age no need,
Then these delights my mind might move
To live with thee and be thy love.

montyb
September 12, 2014, 2:42 pm
Seems like a roundabout way of asking a girl to go fishing.

abra
June 26, 2017, 6:43 pm
I don't care how fancy the hooks and lines are, if I have to catch fish for your dinner every night, no thanks.

mmfs83
August 18, 2017, 9:18 am
It sounds kind of kinky to me. I think I'd say "no thank you".

[LLapp]

"The gods, likening themselves to all kinds of strangers, go in various disguises from city to city, observing the wrongdoing and the righteousness of men." — Homer

montyb
July 24, 2014, 3:10 am
Just like the NSA.

dovid1946
December 11, 2014, 6:01 am
but unlike the NSA, the gods copulate with mortals

montyb
February 6, 2015, 1:41 pm
And the NSA doesn't???

marnita
September 7, 2015, 4:58 pm
The Secret Service certainly does.

abra
November 22, 2015, 4:08 pm
Interesting thoughts.

kb83
February 22, 2017, 10:57 am
Only on this site, could NSA be equated with the gods. I feel truly blessed.

[Eureka]

Never a good idea, but even more so during our current crisis. Nuh UH, indeed!

"Open your mouth and shut your eyes and see what Zeus will send you."
— Aristophanes

rose5
January 25, 2019, 5:29 am
The first cryptogram I have solved which mentions Zeus.

abra
February 7, 2019, 1:46 pm
Open you mouth and close your eyes and you will get a big surprise. Straight from Aristophanes to my childhood.

Disturbed1
August 27, 2019, 12:51 pm
I had no idea that Aristophanes was such a prankster.

LLapp
November 19, 2019, 10:53 pm
From somewhere deep inside me, my childhood voice said "Nuh UH!"

[montyb]

"It may be a cold, clammy thing to say, but those that treat friendship the same as any other selfishness seem to get the most out of it. "
— Edgar Watson Howe

nevadasmith68
September 24, 2013, 3:49 pm
How did this guy ever invent the sewing machine?

Hash
February 12, 2015, 7:26 am
Elias Howe is not the same person as is Edgar Howe.

LLapp
October 2, 2016, 5:46 pm
That's correct. Edgar Howe was the founder of the Cold Clams franchise at Redondo Beach.

Roxanne
March 12, 2017, 5:40 am
Elias Howe invented the machine that sews two halves of a clamshell together, which was much appreciated by all who do not like sandy fried clams. When he was praised for his invention, he merely said "shucks."

[oddcouple]

"The men who really believe in themselves are all in lunatic asylums."
— Gilbert Chesterton


maradnu
April 14, 2009, 12:56 am
They have not gotten me yet.
banzaisequoia
December 31, 2009, 11:39 pm
They're coming to take me away! Ha! Ha!
matarisa
July 19, 2011, 3:22 pm
I'm biting my tongue.
kb77
September 12, 2011, 2:19 am
theyll never take me alive!!!
montyb
July 31, 2012, 2:16 am
I'm going back to my room now, Nurse Ratched.
wvwoman
September 5, 2012, 1:37 am
...to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time...
harmiger
June 26, 2013, 2:13 pm
But only the men, we women are free to do as we believe.
universalmom
April 22, 2014, 6:46 am
He's just being pouty...look at his expression
kb83
September 12, 2014, 8:12 am
He has the most entries in the book of "Senior Moments".
puzzleme
May 12, 2015, 7:06 am
This photo makes him appear to be speaking from experience.
LLapp
June 16, 2017, 2:17 pm
...and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats...
maradnu
October 15, 2018, 5:23 am
Self deprecating humor can lead them astray.

[oddcouple]

"I have become rather like King Midas, except that everything turns not into gold but into a circus."
— Albert Einstein


puzzleme
October 20, 2013, 10:51 am
I can relate to that.
dovid1946
May 26, 2015, 4:46 am
it's all relative
LLapp
March 17, 2016, 6:40 pm
Sad.
BriddlesBob
April 28, 2016, 8:38 pm
Albert use to attend all kinds of family reunions, claiming he was a relative.
emtonsti
March 24, 2017, 10:28 am

Marboy
March 25, 2017, 4:27 pm
You energy, unless you travel faster than the speed of ight - then you matter! (I may have this the wrong way round but I like it anyway!
maradnu
July 14, 2017, 3:20 pm
I'm still a couple clowns short of a circus.
lainecap
August 12, 2017, 3:27 pm
Did you hear about the magician walking down the street who turned into a drugstore.
DrCryptell
January 17, 2018, 7:32 pm
and when he opens a door it becomes ajar
BriddlesBob
April 17, 2018, 2:17 am
no, but I heard about the magician traveling down the street with a young lady and turned her into a motel
DonnaIrene
September 18, 2018, 2:44 am
He's complaining about the fact that when he went anywhere, people recognized him and things turned into a circus. But his friend Robert Berks said, "But deep down, if he really hadn’t wanted any publicity, he would have gotten his hair cut and worn ordinary suits."

[oddcouple]

"A mistress never is nor can be a friend. While you agree, you are lovers; and when it is over, anything but friends. "
— Lord Byron


silveryaspen
May 8, 2009, 9:01 pm
when the man betrays the wife and the mistress another woman ... the betrayal undermines all three and none remain friends!
kjmcaj
April 3, 2013, 5:45 pm
here-here !!!
Allen
July 7, 2013, 1:45 pm
There, there.
maradnu
December 5, 2013, 11:07 am
Where? Where?
abracadebra
February 7, 2015, 4:45 am
Here a mistress, there a mistress, everywhere a mistress, but yet they stay nowhere.
zenith
May 8, 2015, 4:46 am
Ha funny thread, people!
judy100
December 1, 2016, 8:17 am
He learned from his love affairs.
DrCryptell
August 23, 2018, 4:25 pm
What if your mistress wallpapers your house? Is she a friend or a paper layer?
jbb33054
February 26, 2020, 8:39 am
57

[oddcouple]

"There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it"
— George Bernard Shaw


Kgun5
April 29, 2013, 3:37 pm
Missing its period.
Lurker
June 24, 2013, 6:31 pm
Compared to some of the other mistakes around here, I'm willing to live without one dot of punctuation at the end.
puzzleme
August 23, 2013, 12:41 am
I thought perhaps it was just pregnant with meaning.
chopstix
September 15, 2013, 3:38 pm
An excellent observation puzzleme!
cindidido
February 26, 2014, 4:45 am
Pity anyone who is finds satisfaction in this manner and is disappointed otherwise.
insomniac
April 15, 2015, 9:09 pm
Not many people don't object to being hanged. I don't think there is any record of an execution by hanging where the person being executed went "WHEEE!!" as s/he dropped.
abra
June 16, 2015, 9:54 am
I can't get no satisfaction...
badbob
February 26, 2017, 8:43 pm
who invented the trap door?
DaveR
October 3, 2018, 6:29 am
A masochist met a sadist. The masochist asked if the sadist can beat him up. The sadist, with a gleam in his eye, answered; "NO."
Altoid701
January 22, 2019, 4:46 am
This is another quote that seems to be repeated on the site. I got this earlier today and it had different comments.
MissKitty
February 8, 2019, 2:46 pm
Kilroy 26
Disturbed1
April 30, 2019, 1:21 pm
Is there satisfaction in hanging a man who does object to it? I've never tried.
DrCryptell
December 11, 2019, 5:51 am
Shoot me, Baby, and after the funeral I'll treat you to a steak dinner.

[oddcouple]

Classic Monty

"It is only through timidity that states are lost. "
— Voltaire

puzzler86
March 31, 2014, 7:14 pm
44 seconds
JD_1947
December 11, 2014, 3:49 am
. . . okay . . .I guess . . .
maradnu
August 22, 2016, 3:20 pm
No, the third reich was not lost through timidity, but rather through greed and arrogance.
Jalapenoman
January 18, 2017, 2:05 pm
They just announced on the news that no one can find Delaware! Can someone please check lost and found?
montyb
December 24, 2017, 2:38 am
I would, but I'm a little timid.
abra
December 31, 2017, 2:58 pm
Very funny.

[oddcouple]

"Men, like nails, lose their usefulness when they lose direction and begin to bend. "
— Walter Savage Landor

cryptoleon
May 17, 2012, 6:43 am
women like wine need to age to be fully appreciated.
rotorguru
January 16, 2014, 9:56 am
and also when you hit them on the head.
JD_1947
January 12, 2015, 1:56 am
Women, like finger nails, . . . !
marnita
April 9, 2016, 4:12 am
But nails do not lose their effectiveness when you hit them on the head.
zenith
July 20, 2018, 11:18 am
But nails dont "lose their direction" - they just go where you hit them
LLapp
October 14, 2018, 7:36 pm
Let's face it, this is a dumb simile.
killdozer
December 27, 2018, 5:55 pm
Am I driven or am I just hammered?
Persephone59
April 23, 2019, 3:58 pm
Whichever it is, killdozer, you made me smile.