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  • "Hope is a good thing but not if you depend on it solely. "
    Unattributed

    montyb on 2014-01-14 14:36:16
    Bob Hope?

    montyb on 2016-01-23 05:08:43
    Hope Lange.

    SwampySox on 2016-02-29 10:29:41
    Had a bunny. called it Hope... hope springs eternal.

    Comment


    • "Creditors have better memories than debtors. "
      Benjamin Franklin

      Barnabas on 2012-09-13 18:08:23
      I wish people who "borrow" books and DVD/blu-ray movies from me had better memories.

      jstrider on 2013-09-24 09:53:34
      Be kind... rewind...

      Lurker on 2014-03-18 09:36:49
      And this was the man who opened the first public lending library in the US.

      maradnu on 2015-01-19 08:48:18
      How do you rewind a DVD?

      SippyGurl on 2015-10-22 17:39:05
      just put your lips together and, blow

      Comment


      • "When I was born, I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half."
        Gracie Allen

        wvwoman on 2013-05-06 15:05:00
        the better half of george burns back in the day--i loved their tv show when i was a kid.
        Wolfie on 2013-09-16 13:52:25
        Much better than all that esoteric stuff from Seneca and Aristotle and Plato, and of course the self-absorbed Oscar Wilde.
        wvwoman on 2014-02-19 07:52:45
        well, shoot, wolfie--i'm not THAT old!!

        Comment


        • "The eyes, like sentinels, occupy the highest place in the body. "
          Marcus Tullius Cicero

          wvwoman on 2013-09-22 10:26:22
          frogs & toads, for example, could say that...

          montyb on 2014-03-22 08:51:50
          My eyes occupy the highest place ever since my hair abandoned its post. Traitors, every follicle of them.

          chopstix on 2014-06-27 17:30:25
          I don't have a forehead, I have a fivehead.

          marnita on 2016-06-07 07:08:36
          Send them to the guillotine, Monty.

          Comment


          • "You know when you have found your prince because you not only have a smile on your face but in your heart as well."
            Unattributed

            insomniac on 2015-04-15 21:27:02
            And possibly some frog slime on your lips.

            LLapp on 2016-03-22 15:52:33
            Eww!
            "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." -- Albert Einstein

            Comment


            • "Public schools are the nurseries of all vice and immorality." Henry Fielding

              montyb on 2015-01-08 19:06:42
              I wonder if I can add vice and immorality to my teaching license?

              mikehallbackhoe on 2015-01-09 05:08:08
              yes, but don't expect a pay raise

              Comment


              • No, it's the noodles.

                "Unemployment diminishes people. Leisure enlarges them."
                Mason Cooley


                Hash on 2015-01-16 00:52:47
                Yep. I do come back from vacation enlarged.

                jnoodles on 2015-04-05 03:15:39
                It's the hash.

                Comment


                • Hahaha

                  pegxpeg, Hash & jnoodles-
                  Very clever, very funny.
                  What a gang.

                  Comment


                  • "I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks."
                    Steve Martin

                    maradnu on 2011-04-16 22:51:30
                    Funny. I have seen some women with beautiful necks, though.

                    montyb on 2014-12-07 13:36:12
                    Audrey Hepburn for instance. http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/20...d7-d6zq2ks.jpg

                    dovid1946 on 2015-01-08 06:10:52
                    guess he isn't a vampire, then

                    LLapp on 2015-02-19 09:09:42
                    Ah, Audrey.

                    jval on 2015-04-05 10:02:23
                    Probably not into giraffes either.

                    marnita on 2016-06-21 12:07:46
                    He wouldn't like me.

                    Comment


                    • generations

                      "It's one of nature's ways that we often feel closer to distant generations than to the generation immediately preceding us."
                      Igor Stravinsky

                      Barnabas on 2013-04-30 18:32:34
                      Is that why we have Civil War reenactments?

                      jnoodles on 2013-08-18 00:13:01
                      Barnabas: No Civil War reenactors are just cross-dressers who are too fat for womens clothes and heels.

                      Comment


                      • "How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?"
                        Zsa Zsa Gabor

                        udy100 on 2015-04-27 12:46:36
                        :-)

                        lainecap on 2016-02-28 09:10:29
                        Zsa Zsa also said she was a good housekeeper. Every time she got divorced, she kept the house.

                        abra on 2016-03-15 14:00:25
                        Oh my, I thought despite all those husbands, Zsa-Zsa, was more demure.

                        Comment


                        • This 12-word conversation took place over several years

                          "Energy is an eternal delight, and he who desires, but acts not, breeds pestilence. " William Blake

                          maradnu on 2010-09-15 01:39:09
                          I think I've got a bumper crop.

                          Lurker on 2012-10-04 01:09:15
                          Of energy, or pestilence?

                          maradnu on 2014-02-05 14:50:24
                          yes

                          Comment


                          • "I have always thought the suicide should bump off at least one swine before taking off for parts unknown. "
                            — Ezra Pound


                            opallady on 2014-06-09 12:23:04
                            I think he's saying that instead of suicide by cop, train engineer, oncoming driver, or just quietly at home, how about suicide by gang banger or drug dealer and take a few with you?

                            jnoodles on 2015-04-04 04:41:50
                            opallady I think he's saying, "Time to cut me off and call me a cab."

                            Comment


                            • "Any sufficiently advanced bureaucracy is indistinguishable from molasses. "
                              Unattributed

                              montyb on 2013-05-21 21:53:28
                              Oh come on,folks. This is much funnier than the 4.6 rating it had before I voted.

                              oddcouple on 2013-12-29 01:59:14
                              Not true. Molasses moves much faster than bureaucracy.

                              WRQ9 on 2013-12-30 06:18:42
                              The colder it gets, the slower it moves, nothing funny about that!

                              Comment


                              • one of the best comment sections i've seen

                                "A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handy man with a sense of humus. "
                                E. B. White


                                seemoreglass09 on 2009-03-22 06:13:46
                                it says "sense of humus" I'm gonna guess it should say "sense of humor"

                                kat on 2009-05-16 17:13:29
                                It is a pun. "Humus" (Origin: 1790–1800; < Latin: earth, ground[1]) is degraded organic material in soil, which causes some soil layers to be dark brown or black.

                                silveryaspen on 2009-06-30 14:18:49
                                and the farmer who recognizes humus knows it is good fertile black top soil ...

                                bansaisequoia on 2009-09-07 01:27:58
                                A good Middle Eastern restaurateur is nothing more nor less than a person with a sense of hummus.

                                kat on 2009-10-04 17:28:44
                                mmm....hummus.....

                                chriscrojam on 2011-12-08 01:54:01
                                I always assumed E.B. White was a woman.

                                fishbum on 2012-10-16 18:31:34
                                If you bought a High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle (HMMWV) you might have a good sense of hummer.

                                bansaisequoia on 2012-10-28 02:57:34
                                I watch the Simpsons to gain a sense of Homer.

                                montyb on 2012-11-15 20:51:52
                                Somewhere out there is a "carpenter with a good sense of hammer" pun, but I won't be the one to inflict it upon the world.

                                SippyGirl on 2013-09-13 15:23:29
                                omg, ellie krieger has an amazing recipe for edamame hummus. she's really nice, too - i used to work at the same place and she was always a sweetie.

                                universalmom on 2014-01-30 07:30:36
                                See, this is why I enjoy the "comments" section so much!

                                Ian123 on 2014-03-03 19:24:43
                                A good farmer is one who is out standing in his field..

                                LLapp on 2014-10-21 16:19:21
                                chriscrojam, if you ever happen back around these parts: Mr. E.B. White was one of the kindest humans and finest writers ever to grace this world. If you have ever seen the little blue writing manual called "Elements of Style" by Strunk and White -- he was the White in that pair, and he published it after he was already a famous writer. Strunk was his English professor at college. He liked Prof. Strunk's writing tips so much that after he was well connected to publishers, he decided to get them published. But first he added some chapters of his own -- and it's the chapters by White that make the book so loved. The end.

                                maradnu on 2015-03-07 10:02:47
                                When I was in college - back in the dark ages - I took a writing course, and Strunk/White was one of the books we used.

                                zenith on 2015-08-13 08:13:22
                                thank you Llapp Love this site

                                Comment

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