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  • they got together

    "The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, "If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down.""
    — Rita Rudner


    DrCryptell on April 1st, 2018
    So then the word "airplane" came about when the pilots got together and said "if we're going to charge $500 a flight we can't call it "winging it."

    skyystorm on July 19th, 2018
    And the doctors got together and said "If we charge 10k a day, we can't call it practicing."

    Comment


    • and lo, a colon has been added

      "Censor: a self-appointed snoophound who sticks his nose in other people's business."
      — Bennett Alfred Cerf


      Lurker on January 6th, 2011
      Perhaps there should be a colon after Censor?

      gryhnd51 on November 25th, 2011
      "censor" the VERB means to remove, suppress, delete, to express disapproval of. In this quote, it is NOT being used as a noun, in which case a colon would be required.

      kb83 on November 14th, 2014
      I vote for noun and a colon.

      maradnu on January 29th, 2015
      Having a colon is handy. I'd hate to be without one.

      montyb on June 19th, 2015
      Some censors are intimately acquainted with their own colons.

      Roxanne on December 31st, 2015
      I bet censor is a noun and the colon is missing. It sounds like Bennett Cerf's style that way, and I doubt he would have urged censoring someone, since he won a big court case against censorship (of James Joyce's Ulysses).

      LLapp on May 23rd, 2016
      ERROR: Please add a colon after "Censor" per the original quote. To verify: (link)

      kb83 on November 30th, 2016
      Okay, admin. A group colonoscopy has determined that the patient needs a colon transplant.

      Comment


      • "I am incandescent with rage at the idea of horoscopes and of crystals and of the nonsense of 'New Age'."
        — Stephen Fry

        skoogie2 on October 9th, 2013
        oooh...incandescent rage! Yikes!

        maradnu on November 3rd, 2013
        Merely petty distractions for those who cannot accept responsibility for their own actions.

        msswitch on May 22nd, 2014
        crystals are excellent for hurling at the heads of those who doubt their powers

        montyb on October 4th, 2014
        The only power crystals have is to fascinate me with their symmetries and beauty. You should see my amethyst-lined geode in my classroom.

        tgreen517 on January 1st, 2015
        unless they are dilitheum chrystals!

        Spenser on February 18th, 2015
        OMG! The digression of geeky references lets me know I have found a home!

        dovid1946 on March 17th, 2015
        someone once asked Steve Allen what sign he was born under ' he said ' Rooms to Rent'

        LLapp on November 14th, 2017
        ^That goes right alongside my father's (though I think he was quoting someone) "If I had my life to live over, I'd live over a delicatessen."

        abra on December 17th, 2017
        I have two Amethyst geodes. Probably much smaller than Monty's. I don't get any spiritual vibes from crystals, but I find them very beautiful.

        DrCryptell on April 19th, 2018
        I'm neon with the idea of cantaloupe, antelope, microscope, heliotrope., endoscope, and jumping rope. Does any of that nonsense light up our lives?

        Comment


        • Contender for Silliest Wrong Solution

          "Won't you come into the garden? I would like my roses to see you." — Richard Brinsley Sheridan

          locodad on May 15th, 2013
          very nice quote

          puzzleme on June 20th, 2013
          Sweet.

          abra on October 25th, 2013
          Charming.

          judy100 on August 22nd, 2014
          How nice

          MatthewReynolds on January 8th, 2016
          For some reason I was hung up with "I would bite my noses to see you."

          abra on May 7th, 2016
          ^^^LOL

          Comment


          • montyb's comment gave me a good laugh!

            "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. " — Unattributed

            Lurker on September 2nd, 2009
            Favorite of Dear Abby's. She may have coined it.

            bansaisequoia on March 12th, 2010
            Gomer Pyle used this one, too.

            countessofmontecrypto on January 8th, 2012
            W tried to.

            montyb on February 5th, 2014
            Fool me 3 times, and welcome to Cryptograms.


            msswitch on May 28th, 2014
            According to the Colonial Williamsburg Journal, a 1786 essay refers to an early, non-English form of the familiar saying 'Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.' Wrote George Horne, an English divine: 'When a man deceives me once, says the Italian proverb, it is his fault; when twice, it is mine.'

            marnita on October 7th, 2016
            This one has fooled me more than twice.

            maradnu on February 16th, 2018
            Fool me three times and boy am I a schmuck

            mmfs83 on August 8th, 2018
            This one sure fooled me for 356 seconds.

            Comment


            • "Nature that framed us of four elements, warring within our breasts for regiment, doth teach us all to have aspiring minds. "
              — Christopher Marlowe

              puzzleme on June 6th, 2013
              It doth, doth it?

              wvwoman on September 10th, 2013
              or maybe it dothn't!

              JD_1947 on November 9th, 2014
              Could doth tell me what the four elements are . . .?

              LLapp on May 12th, 2015
              Solid, liquid, gas and plasma?

              maradnu on September 7th, 2016
              Fire, earth, air, and water

              BriddlesBob on March 13th, 2017
              And who can help aspiring upon seeing a regiment of breasts?

              Andy451 on June 19th, 2017
              Three nice lines of unrhymed iambic pentameter verse as you will find. Marlowe was a great guy who died way before his time. The novel by Anthony Burgess about him, called A Death in Deptford is a wonderful read.

              kb83 on October 31st, 2017
              I thought maybe carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, and nitrogen.

              MissKitty on March 9th, 2018
              Pizza ,beer .smokes and a Large screen. Kilroy 79

              Comment


              • "The Creator gave man two ears and one mouth; there is a reason why He did so." — Thomas Barron

                Quizzical on June 4th, 2017
                Because food is so hard to hear?

                Comment


                • Originally posted by LLapp View Post
                  "The Creator gave man two ears and one mouth; there is a reason why He did so." — Thomas Barron

                  Quizzical on June 4th, 2017
                  Because food is so hard to hear?
                  now that's a great comment, quizzical!

                  Comment


                  • "We will move forward, we will move upward, and yes, we will move onward." — Dan Quayle

                    Elephino on August 14th, 2018
                    It's a new dance craze!

                    Comment


                    • "As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death." — Leonardo da Vinci

                      chopstix on August 8th, 2014
                      Then he must have had one of the most happy deaths imaginable!

                      Hash on October 24th, 2015
                      My new band's name is going to be "Happy Death".

                      Barnabas on September 19th, 2017
                      "It's my party and I'll die if I want to, die if I want to, die if I want to. You would die too if it happened to you."

                      abra on October 25th, 2017
                      ^ I'm picturing one of those awful horror movies where Johnny and Judy leave at the same time and come back as the walking dead.

                      Comment


                      • "To be a hero or a heroine, one must give an order to oneself."
                        — Simone Weil


                        montyb on March 14th, 2012
                        And not be insubordinate.

                        kb83 on February 12th, 2015
                        This really shows hot the best leaders are good followers.

                        LLapp on April 3rd, 2016
                        I am totally insubordinate to my own executive function. If I were self-employed, I would still grouse about my boss.

                        Comment


                        • ten Y's and one S? No problem for skeeter.

                          "The way you think about a fact may defeat you before you ever do anything about it. You are overcome by the fact because you think you are."
                          — Norman Vincent Peale



                          montyb on June 7th, 2012
                          Therefore, rely on flights of fancy?

                          montyb on March 23rd, 2014
                          Ten Ys and only one S. There is no way those letter frequencies can occur in the English language. I'll never solve this puzzle.

                          Allen on June 25th, 2014
                          And yet you did.

                          tskaggs6 on November 5th, 2014
                          Am I wrong in thinking he's a prime example of form over function? Can't make up my mind. What do you think?

                          LLapp on March 25th, 2016
                          Clever comments. I like how monty disproves the quote.

                          Persephone59 on April 16th, 2017
                          Personally, I have little use for motivational speakers or religious leaders who don't seem to DO anything but try to advise other people. Thanks, I can figure this out.

                          skeeter on December 1st, 2017
                          Daily you yearn for yesterday yet the memory you will have tomorrow of today may bring more joy.

                          bigdave on April 11th, 2018
                          The comments are the chewy chocolate center of my Cryptogram Tootsie Pop.

                          Comment


                          • "Apothegms are portable wisdom, the quintessential extracts of thought and feelings."
                            — R. W. Alger

                            haverwench on June 19th, 2010
                            Now there's a word you don't see every day.

                            irisheyes on October 5th, 2010
                            WHAT is an apothegm?? I thought I had a larger-than-average vocabulary, but I've never seen this one before.

                            bansaisequoia on August 28th, 2011
                            It's a marsupial of the Western Hemisphere.

                            Lurker on August 30th, 2011
                            They carry dictionaries in their pouches.

                            fishbum on February 4th, 2012
                            A short, pithy saying.

                            montyb on May 15th, 2013
                            Boy, am I pithed!

                            wvwoman on July 21st, 2013
                            Synonyms are adage, aphorism, saying, byword, epigram, maxim, proverb, saw

                            abra on August 14th, 2013
                            Ah, so it is an aphorism. I suspected it was.

                            kb83 on August 25th, 2014
                            Rhymes with phlegm. (cough-cough).

                            abra on January 23rd, 2015
                            It doesn't roll off the tongue.

                            Spenser on May 30th, 2015
                            Don't you mean it's a marthupial?

                            QuexUl on March 28th, 2016
                            Whatever they are, they don't seem so very portable to me.

                            figmo on June 11th, 2017
                            Wall-a-by damned!

                            Comment


                            • "It's no good agreeing with a person who can't make up his mind. "
                              — Unattributed

                              eis on January 12th, 2010
                              Unfortunately I usually find that I do so!

                              montyb on May 21st, 2013
                              I agree.

                              maradnu on October 16th, 2013
                              I'm not sure about that. Might be, might not. Let me think about it some more.

                              Allen on April 12th, 2014
                              I agree, Maradnu. Wholeheartedly!

                              toddcmz on August 30th, 2015
                              My approach to marriage might be less good than I thought

                              LLapp on January 20th, 2017
                              I'm with every one of you, one hundred percent.

                              MamaB on September 19th, 2018
                              I'm not. Except maybe t hat one...

                              Comment


                              • "We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public."
                                — Bryan White

                                Allen on January 18th, 2013
                                Still working on that.

                                skoogie2 on November 15th, 2013
                                Yep, some of us don't.

                                Barnabas on May 4th, 2015
                                Very true... I look forward to a new Marvel or DC movie release as much as anyone. You can steadily move the boy to the year 2015, but you can't completely remove 1970 from the boy.

                                fishbum on October 27th, 2015
                                Just read a quote on facebook: "If you haven't grown up by age 50, don't bother."

                                SippyGurl on November 28th, 2016
                                its the yuppies fault - they started wearing designer sweat suits to nice restaurants in manhattan, acting like skyscraper incinerator fodder, and it's been all downhill from there. does anyone teach their children about behaving in public anymore?

                                darkyr on January 19th, 2017
                                I behaved in public once. Very awkward.

                                jimdgar on May 2nd, 2018
                                Behaving in public is vastly overrated.

                                SippyGurl on July 2nd, 2018
                                really sippy? it's just the yuppies? lol what was u drinking

                                Comment

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