Classic Comments on the Quote

[ddph]

You Gotta See the Picture to Appreciate

"It is more honorable to be raised to a throne than to be born to one. Fortune bestows the one, merit obtains the other. "
— Petrarch

montyb on 2013-11-19 09:40:21
Just how honorable is it to dress as an asparagus spear?

Barnabas on 2014-05-08 08:21:25
Monty, after he said that, he went right into... "I went to a garden party to reminisce with my old friends..."

LLapp on 2015-09-01 11:49:52
monty, that made me laugh hard . . . again.

SippyGurl on 2016-01-24 10:25:35
mmm... asparagus with butter and parmesan

MamaB on 2016-10-09 02:31:42
I have some asparagus in the fridge I've forgotten to cook!

[ddph]

A comment from Andy that made me chuckle

"Doubt obscures the true vision of the heart. "
— Unattributed

maradnu on 2009-11-03 10:30:17
The beginning of doubt is the beginning of wisdom.

geeko321 on 2013-10-21 09:02:11
Yeah, pretty sure a healthy amount of doubt is how true wisdom is obtained.

montyb on 2015-04-25 03:47:19
Silly me. All this time I thought it was the rib cage, lungs, diaphragm, etc. of the chest cavity that obscured the heart's vision.

marnita on 2016-08-27 13:40:22
That, and not having any eyes.

LLapp on 2016-11-13 20:39:08
If you had eyes in your heart, the view would be really gross.

Andy451 on 2017-05-03 02:55:23
Here;s another quote so maudlin and self-satisfied that even "Unattributed" didn't want to take credit for it. Unfortunately, this mantra turned "Un" into a stalker, and he is still in jail, pending a new hearing in August. Yes, it's true he thinks that Angela Jolie, Kendall Jenner, and Scarlett Johanson are all madly in love with him. Ask any tuna you happen to see, "What's the best tuna?" "Chicken of the Sea."

[ddph]

"People have always scared me a bit - they're so complicated. I suppose that's why I prefer horses."
— Separate Tables

opallady on 2013-10-23 09:45:57
Me, too.

kb83 on 2015-04-24 03:41:34
Who is Mr. or Ms. Tables?

montyb on 2015-08-05 02:28:52
I don't know, but I believe they are now separated.

SippyGurl on 2015-09-26 16:16:44
Seppy, for short

BriddlesBob on 2015-12-01 10:08:21
Well, the bit in the horses mouth is complicated and scary too!

QuexUl on 2016-07-12 03:49:37
I was below average on this one. But then, so was the quote.

phthelen on 2017-08-10 16:59:54
You posters are making me laugh out LOUD! You are sooo funny.

[LLapp]

"Nature understands no jesting. She is always true, always serious, always severe. She is always right, and the errors are always those of man." — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

kb83 on 2014-08-05 06:23:46
what about america's favorite cat videos then?

oddcouple on 2015-02-01 09:46:01
nature needs to lighten up.

bigdave on 2016-09-01 06:18:39
Again, Johann, please leave my wife out of this.

[aerie]

"Once a man has won a woman's love, the love is his forever. He can only lose the woman." — Robert Brault


fishbum on 2014-04-02 13:51:09
He would have to freelance for nobody would pay for this drivel.

Quizzical on 2014-05-29 14:33:51
Actually, this is pretty good. Most of his other stuff I have seen here - not so much.

universalmom on 2014-10-17 01:37:29
Hey! Where's carrot's rant?

LLapp on 2016-05-12 15:54:23
Carrot is tied to a chair in Brault's cheaply decorated sun room, where he forces her to listen as he composes his new quotes aloud every day, constantly tinkering with the wording to get each one just right for his blog. She tried to warn us, but we refused to listen.

[aerie]

kb83, poet laureate of cryptoland

"An honest man is the best thing on the sod; but a mother and her babe is the noblest work of God. "
— Unattributed


rooby2s on 2015-12-11 14:45:38
True, but, once 9n a while, it would be nice to have a quote with which today's working class person could identify. Not so stilted.

kb83 on 2017-08-07 09:08:06
An honest sod is the best thing in creation. But a bloke and his babe make the next generation.

[ddph]

"Did you hear about the Scottish drag queen? He wore pants."
— Lynn Lavner

patsy86 on 2011-06-05 21:41:35
Please, don't include one-liner jokes. Take my idea, please.

cknapp329 on 2011-06-20 13:22:21
Henny Youngma fan?

rwright on 2012-12-15 15:02:18
One liners are fine!

montyb on 2013-02-17 19:26:56
They are worth more points. And you get a free rim shot when you solve them.

jnoodles on 2013-06-16 12:03:18
montyb: Thanks for menttioning the rimshot!!!

butchs non brain on 2014-03-22 14:24:06
I will treasure that mental image forever.

LLapp on 2015-02-01 16:58:56
This made me laugh.

JenDiaz72 on 2015-04-15 05:56:00
Awesome... gotta tell my Scottish husband this one.

JenDiaz72 on 2015-05-12 12:47:10
Okay... he just rolled his eyes at me. LOL

JenDiaz72 on 2015-05-19 06:31:42
Now I'm rolling my eyes

macmilh on 2015-06-19 00:05:55
My Dad looked very dashing in his kilts, and he preferred nightshirts to pyjamas. You have to be a manly man to carry that off! (and he was).

oddcouple on 2015-12-05 06:18:18
Lynn is a Jewish comedienne from Brooklyn.

darkyr on 2016-12-11 16:55:17
Two men walk into a wedding reception and as the host, "Where's the punch line?"

[daviddivad]

Instead what we have are socialist/communist indoctrination centers.

[Roxanne]

Instead what we have are socialist/communist indoctrination centers.

Instead of punch lines?

[maradnu]

Indoctrination centers

I guess now to the alt-right, schools that teach people to think for themselves and do fact checking are considered "socialist/communist indoctrination centers" because they don't try to force the kids to accept right wing orthodoxy.

[darkyr]

Two men walk into a wedding reception and ask, "Where's the socialist/communist indoctrination center?" The groom replies, "It's right over there, next to the punch line."

[Roxanne]

Punch at the punch line, and Molotov cocktails and Moscow mules at the indoctrination center?

[LLapp]

Britney and the Missing Apostrophe

"I still have a lot to learn - about the business, about music, and about myself. Its exciting." — Britney Spears

fishbum on 2011-03-07 21:08:59
Please, no more Britney Spears quote.

montyb on 2012-08-17 02:11:09
Second sentence should begin with "It's".

mumu on 2013-05-02 13:58:51
I agree - It is exciting, Britney!!!

LLapp on 2014-12-18 12:29:10
ERROR: Add apostrophe - should be: It's exciting.

larry149 on 2015-04-14 04:20:49
Still needs to be "It's."

gryhnd51 on 2015-05-27 18:58:58
I was so glad to see Britney drug-free and performing again recently.

Morpeth on 2015-07-11 02:14:54
FIX THE APOSTROPHE ERROR!! If it had been there, I would have solved that quicker.

larry149 on 2015-07-20 06:10:55
Still not fixed!

kb83 on 2015-07-22 07:11:11
Britney would be shocked at this error.

SippyGurl on 2015-09-24 05:51:24
i don't think she used an apostrophe when she spoke it.

abra on 2015-10-23 13:53:40
Either she's yesterday's news, or she's doing a better job of keeping her private life private. I hope it's the latter.

larry149 on 2016-03-02 03:59:46
apostrophe still not fixed!

LLapp on 2016-03-16 13:04:24
She has vowed not to perform again until the apostrophe is fixed.

ajbcurate on 2016-10-11 10:51:04
Listening to David Bowie's "Five Years" and it's like he's trying to tell the admins how long the apostrophe has been missing.

[Barnabas]

Instead of punch lines?

A guy walks into his favorite bar and is surprised to find that a wedding reception is being held there. Somewhat indignant about the whole thing, he walks over to the bartender and points in the general direction of a long string of people and asks, "What's all this, then?"

The bartender answers, "That's the punch line.

Same joke as Darkyr's that I'd heard a little differently. I like his/hers a little better.

[guavamango]

"In weightlifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you." — Jack Handey

Lurker on 2009-10-08 00:13:47
Someone beat my time, please! I don't want my name on this one

bansaisequoia on 2009-10-12 23:44:03
Ooooohh, I'm sorry-I just got 18 seconds.

Lurker on 2009-12-20 23:10:35
So what do I do, set a faster time! AAAHH!!

bansaisequoia on 2010-03-01 16:50:02
You put your name on this twice by leaving a comment.

Lurker on 2011-09-18 21:56:09
Good point. Well, if people don't read the comments, they'll just see your name now.

montyb on 2012-01-02 12:40:24
I like reading the comments. But this one doesn't deserve any.

bansaisequoia on 2012-07-08 14:42:21
I don't know. If I were an Olympic judge, I'm not sure I'd count him out. Depends.

montyb on 2012-10-07 19:32:30
That weightlifter would need Depends.

wvwoman on 2012-10-08 03:19:32
what ARE the rules on urination during weightlifting?

puzzleme on 2013-08-17 00:56:45
Depends.

abra on 2013-10-28 11:50:29
Very funny, puzzlemel.

kb83 on 2014-11-25 07:50:07
If done during the "clean and jerk," there are no rules.

Lurker on 2015-02-03 12:52:24
You wouldn't be clean anymore.

LLapp on 2016-01-18 21:47:21
Jerk? Please, urination during weightlifting was bad enough!

wvwoman on 2016-01-29 07:19:39
i was already grinning, reading the comments, but full-on laughed when i got to llapp's!

skeeter on 2017-09-30 13:33:15
Well, there is American weightlifting, and then there is You're-a-Peein' weightlifting.