Classic Comments on the Quote

[LLapp]

Rasbury's wrap-up is perfect!

"An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh." — Will Rogers

countessofmontecry
November 2, 2010, 7:32 pm
Sometimes a well-placed banana peel ...

skoogie2
July 21, 2013, 12:12 am
True...now fruits can make people laugh...but vegetables? I don't know..

universalmom
February 8, 2014, 10:57 am
squash can grow in funny shapes...I've seen it on the internet

Quizzical
July 10, 2014, 5:09 am
Not a vegetable, but there is a little plant that, when burned, makes people act funny.

mikehallbackhoe
January 16, 2017, 6:52 pm
stick a green bean up your nose and kids will laugh every time

Beagle
May 12, 2017, 5:33 am
Kumquat. That's funny.

marnita
May 15, 2017, 3:36 am
But a kumquat is a fruit.

killdozer
November 17, 2018, 11:07 am
Rutabaga is kind of a funny word.

abra
February 11, 2019, 2:05 pm
Pumpkins turned into jack-o-lanterns can make kids laugh.

imsoeasy
June 16, 2019, 11:49 am
"Palgrave, in his great work on central and eastern Arabia, mentions a curious plant of that country, the seeds of which produce effects analogous to those of laughing gas. These seeds grow in pods, three in each pod, are perfectly black in color and about the size of common soup beans. If pulverized and taken in small doses these seeds have a most remarkable effect. The person to whom the dose has been administered soon begins to laugh very boisterously and to sing and dance in a truly idiotic fashion. He soon falls asleep, and when he awakens remembers nothing of the demonstration made while under their influence of the singular drug." - The Sacred Heart Review, Volume 10, Number 6, 1 July 1893

LLapp
March 1, 2021, 4:07 am
Imsoeasy, what's the plant?! I'm so curious.

30RatsinaCoat
March 2, 2021, 10:20 am
i reckon turnips are pretty funny

Wordigo
August 18, 2021, 9:51 pm
LLapp, my guess is that the plant is khat. (link) “Addiction experts in psychiatry, chemistry, pharmacology, forensic science, epidemiology, and the police and legal services engaged in delphic analysis regarding 20 popular recreational drugs. Khat was ranked 17th in dependence, 20th in physical harm, and 20th in social harm.[25] Khat consumption induces mild euphoria and excitement, similar to that conferred by strong coffee.[1][26] Individuals become very talkative under the influence of the plant. Animal testing has shown that khat causes an increase in motoric activity.[26] The effects of oral administration of cathinone occur more rapidly than the effects of amphetamine pills; roughly 15 minutes as compared to 30 minutes in amphetamine.[medical citation needed] Khat can induce manic behaviours and hyperactivity, similar in effects to those produced by amphetamine.”

rasbury
May 18, 2023, 11:11 am
So, fruits can make us laugh just looking at them or talking about them, but vegetables can only make us laugh if they contain drugs. That's why Carmen Miranda wore hats with lots of fruits, but no vegetables. Thanks to her, we all have the right to wear fruit on our heads (known as our Miranda rights).

[Eureka]

"Valor grows by daring, fear by holding back. " — Publilius Syrus


CarpeLanam
June 14, 2019, 10:28 am
"Audendo virtus crescit, tardando timor."


blueladyblue
August 19, 2019, 2:29 pm
I love it when you speak your native tongue, Carpe. Since I took 3 yrs of Latin way back when in Catholic high school and am practically an expert, let me have a go at translating: I hear the virtue rising; I am a tardy clock.

[montyb]

Plus the likelihood that new comments were added to the thread.

[oddcouple]

Go ahead and post it anyway, hrossa unless it's a very recent comment. With over 1300 posts to this thread, people aren't sorting through every one of them. Somebody will be sure to enjoy it.

[hrossa]

So often when I see great a candidate for "Classic Comments", it's already here!

[LLapp]

"Free and fair discussion will ever be found the firmest friend to truth." — G. Campbell

wvwoman
August 26, 2012, 10:24 pm
alliteration abounds!

kb83
October 8, 2014, 1:11 pm
Who is G. Campbell? I'm thinking not Glenn Campbell, the country music singer.

kb83
March 30, 2015, 4:34 am
I still couldn't find G. Campbell-- I looked up Glen Campbell quotes, and this was not one of them. The syntax does make it sound like it is 19th century or earlier.

LLapp
May 14, 2015, 11:16 am
I googled the quote and found the source. The author is George Campbell, apparently a nineteenth-century Scottish Greek and Bible scholar. The quote is from his preface to the book dated 1837 with this title page: "The Four Gospels, translated from the Greek, with preliminary dissertations, and notes critical and explanatory. By Gary Campbell DD, Principal of Marischal College [in Aberdeen, Scotland], and one of the Ministers of Aberdeen." Here's the quote on the printed page: (link)

kb83
October 26, 2017, 4:57 am
Thanks, LLapp!

susanith
October 31, 2017, 7:23 am
1800s, Bible, Scotland. This statement is outright revolutionary in that context.

Wordigo
August 29, 2021, 8:11 pm
"Free and fair flour will forever be found the firmest friend to farfel." — Campbell Soup.

rasbury
March 4, 2023, 4:32 pm
"By the time I get to Phoenix, I will have a free and fair discussion, which will be a firm friend to truth, but will not sit gently on my mind" -- the other G. Campbell.

[hrossa]

"I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations, and always have done since I grew old and wary enough to detect its presence." — J. R. R. Tolkien

bansaisequoia
August 28, 2014, 3:10 pm
Some people don't like allegory or billeclintony.

wordfairy
November 13, 2014, 4:35 pm
Clever fellow, that bansai.

[LLapp]

"Great doubts deep wisdom. Small doubts little wisdom." — Proverb

irisheyes
March 3, 2011, 5:23 pm
is the syntax supposed to be ambiguous? should there be commas after doubts in each sentence? or is doubt the verb? much to contemplate.

wvwoman
February 16, 2014, 4:20 am
yes, commas after "doubts" in both sentences.

LLapp
March 30, 2016, 9:40 am
Tarzan long time this one.

marnita
July 17, 2016, 11:42 am
Who needs verbs, anyway?

MamaB
April 30, 2018, 4:31 am
Try it with "great donuts."

MamaB
May 6, 2018, 3:02 am
I remembered it wasn't donuts!

DrCryptell
September 13, 2018, 2:43 pm
i have great doubts that the proverb is true.

318WOZ
May 24, 2019, 3:36 pm
New proverb good verb. Old proverb maybe verb. "Come on down to Mac's Proverbs, where we really put the 'verb' in 'proverb'!"

Anachronismatic
September 20, 2021, 3:29 pm
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.

[LLapp]

"Acquire new knowledge whilst thinking over the old, and you may become a teacher of others." — Confucius

Allen
August 5, 2013, 12:49 pm
After all, if you can't teach others, whom can you teach?

Quizzical
July 22, 2014, 3:47 pm
Way to go Allen. I like it when we can point out the superfluity of pompous sounding platitudes.

BriddlesBob
April 12, 2016, 4:08 am
whew! where's my lexicon?

blueladyblue
December 27, 2017, 9:38 am
Here it is, Bob. You left in the garageicon.

darkyr
August 6, 2018, 4:46 am
Yes, right next to my automicon.

Majka
December 6, 2019, 10:15 pm
I have noticed that a vast majority of these comments are derogatory of the quote, the person quoted or the person's appearance.

LLapp
February 5, 2021, 4:12 am
They're called cheap shots, Majka. Wisecracking. The great American pastime.

Ian123
March 10, 2021, 9:55 am
It's the only reason we are here.

hrossa
September 13, 2022, 5:17 pm
That, and the popcorn.

hrossa
March 24, 2023, 5:25 pm
Oh yeah, learning stuff, too.

[hrossa]

"Husbands are awkward things to deal with, even keeping them in hot water will not make them tender." — Mary Lorraine Buckley

oddcouple
December 6, 2014, 9:17 am
especially keeping them in hot water.

montyb
July 2, 2015, 3:29 pm
I'm awkward enough without hot water, thank you.

abra
October 16, 2015, 3:48 pm
Oh Mary, if your speaking just from your own experience, maybe you have the wrong husband.

marnita
July 20, 2016, 5:11 am
Maybe he just needs to be grilled now and then.

[LLapp]

"In every affair consider what precedes and what follows, and then undertake it." — Epictetus

imsoeasy
December 23, 2018, 4:44 pm
The wooing, the logistics, the angry spouse.

LLapp
October 11, 2020, 9:14 pm
Imsoeasy wrote a novel in 7 words.

[Eureka]

"My whole life is waiting for the questions to which I have prepared answers." — Tom Stoppard


momof7
January 23, 2013, 3:52 am
You sure Alex Trebek didn't say this?

[montyb]

Ian123 brings it home!

"The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him."
— Russell Baker

opallady
June 24, 2011, 4:05 pm
It's a plot!

countessofmontecry
September 6, 2011, 5:41 pm
Just this morning a rug rolled up and tried to trip me.

WRQ9
May 29, 2013, 6:43 pm
Knee pads, a helmet and steel toed shoes, everyday.

puzzleme
June 1, 2013, 10:40 am
Especially computers!

momof7
October 27, 2013, 8:54 am
I never knew I was surrounded by such evil!!

fishbum
January 13, 2014, 8:32 am
And we made most of it!

locodad
March 24, 2014, 5:54 am
it sounds to me like a famous very funny with a cute innocent kid, Home Alone

universalmom
January 19, 2016, 11:37 am
So THAT's what my keys are up to!!

marnita
April 7, 2016, 7:34 am
Every now and then my bicycle decides to throw me on the ground.

Annamariah
May 15, 2016, 10:31 pm
I think my bed is trying to keep me as a prisoner and maybe slowly smother me. It's really hard to get out of it every morning.

Marboy
February 11, 2017, 4:14 pm
I have a coffee table that carries out random attacks if I walk through the lounge without turning on the light.

seastar228
July 26, 2017, 7:47 pm
I saw a rug throw a woman to the floor just a few days ago.

MamaB
August 31, 2017, 7:15 am
The leg of the bed frame reaches out and attacks my little toe.

writeon
September 5, 2017, 12:17 am
My carpet uses its electric powers and shocks me when I turn on the light switch.

Persephone59
May 6, 2018, 1:08 am
A few years ago, I was taking some things downstairs; my arms were full. When I got to the bottom, the bottom step VANISHED, and I stumbled hard and twisted my knee. It's never been the same. And I will never trust those stairs again.

LLapp
May 20, 2018, 1:51 pm
Woody Allen used to do a stand-up routine about all the appliances in his life conspiring against him, until finally he clobbered his television. Everything was fine again until he got on an elevator in an office building. It was the (then) new kind of elevator with an automated voice, that asked "What floor, please?" when you got in. He told it his floor, the doors closed, and the elevator went to his floor but then stopped without opening the doors. "Are you the guy who beat up the TV set?" the elevator asked him. He admitted he was, and the elevator dropped so fast to the basement that he had to crawl out. (I haven't listened to that routine in 30 years. Can't believe it's still in my memory.)

montyb
September 27, 2019, 8:53 pm
So that's why the Legos go for de feet.

Persephone59
November 15, 2019, 1:04 am
Oooh, a Lego in the middle of a bare foot in the dark..... that is REALLY painful.

rasbury
October 3, 2020, 8:35 pm
I drove my car into a brick wall, but it wasn't my fault - I honked first (In the Henny Youngman version it was his wife, but after all the quotes about accepting personal responsibility...)

SOLLUVVER
June 25, 2021, 10:20 am
MY RECLINER IS MAKING ME FAT!

Ian123
November 7, 2021, 12:34 pm
Then stop eating it !

[montyb]

One of the great pleasures of this thread is when the community of crytogrammers take someone's comment and just run with it. It's like handing off the baton in a relay race; it takes a team. (Slightly edited to remove a time posting.)

"What you THINK about reveals what you ARE. Sometimes we need to do a check-up from the neck-up. "
— Unattributed

montyb
February 27, 2013, 10:25 pm
I was just thinking about thie vacuousness of the universe.

jnoodles
May 9, 2013, 7:44 pm
Sex......stil sex .......sex. Perhaps I should check lower.

universalmom
September 6, 2014, 2:39 pm
hey! did you just call me vacuous??

abra
January 1, 2015, 11:05 am
There's a billboard, not far from here, that uses the "check-up from the neck up" line it's from an ENT.

montyb
March 4, 2015, 12:14 pm
Hee hee! Thanks for the laughs, jnoodles and U-mom!

kb83
April 27, 2018, 2:50 am
No, U-mom, that would be abhorrent.

LLapp
December 7, 2020, 2:21 am
. . . because nature abhors a vacuum cleaner?

[Eureka]

(Sometimes darkyr has the ability to bring everything together so magnificently.)


"Seven beers followed by two Scotches and a thimble of marijuana and it's funny how sleep comes all on its own." — David Sedaris


kb77
October 20, 2011, 4:21 pm
and its all safer than rx.


gryhnd51
February 26, 2013, 1:22 am
I wouldn't say that 7 beers, 2 scotches and a few hits of pot is exactly SAFE.....nor smart.


universalmom
June 13, 2014, 6:35 am
This guy is so full of himself...


chopstix
August 10, 2014, 7:06 pm
The thimble full alone should do the trick.., and I think David Sedaris is hilarious!


echo
August 12, 2014, 11:38 am
I agree with chopstix, he IS hilarious! "Me talk pretty one day" is one of my all-time faves.


obsessedreader8
August 23, 2015, 9:52 am
I don't find this guy funny at all.


tgreen517
October 27, 2015, 6:46 pm
I guess you have to have a good sense of humor.


mikeoc51
February 8, 2019, 8:27 am
where s the rum


djgoossen
December 7, 2019, 9:01 pm
Not a good sense of humor, just an indiscriminate one. I've seen David Sedaris schtick. Mundane or pedestrian is how I would describe it.


Wordigo
June 27, 2020, 10:09 pm
Some people have their funny bone where beer, scotch and pot are. Other people, where sex is. Others yet, where shit is. Yet others where ethnicity is. All this shows that humor is an excellent psychological x ray device.


mohamm1
September 19, 2020, 3:26 pm
^ What Wordigo said. The things people think are funny, and the things they are offended by, are very revealing of what's going on inside them. #AllMindsMatter - - - 145


darkyr
December 9, 2020, 4:13 pm
Two funny bones walk into a bar and order seven beers, two scotches and a thimble full of marijuana. I'll let everyone fill in the rest of the joke in the privacy of their own imaginations, but let me just say it involves a psychological X-ray device.