Classic Comments on the Quote

[oddcouple]

"He who goes to law for a sheep loses his cow. "
— Proverb

kat
March 9, 2009, 3:55 pm
I hate when that happens.
bansaisequoia
November 1, 2009, 4:48 pm
Don't have a cow, man.
LiveLoveLaugh
November 14, 2009, 5:03 pm
that's why I avoid the law
bansaisequoia
January 5, 2010, 9:16 pm
I fought the law and the law won.
kat
May 8, 2010, 4:49 pm
Still pining for my lost cow...
bansaisequoia
June 1, 2010, 11:49 pm
kat don't have a cow!
kat
October 24, 2010, 4:26 pm
Don't rub it in Bansai! I KNOW I don't have a cow! That's why I'm pining...
iltquilt
August 15, 2012, 1:53 am
cowabunga
locodad
November 25, 2013, 12:44 am
moo
momof7
March 10, 2015, 2:59 pm
That's the cost of a lawyer. They charge by the syllable.
abra
September 26, 2015, 3:09 pm
As the great Harry Caray would have said "Holy Cow!!!!".
SippyGurl
October 16, 2015, 4:56 am
so mooving
LLapp
January 9, 2016, 10:15 am
Kat's cow is a moo point. I wouldn't lose any sheep over it.
debzhaus
March 22, 2016, 5:33 pm
It's like a cow's opinion. It doesn't matter.
Barnabas
May 30, 2016, 2:39 am
And sometimes he loses his ass, too.
Persephone59
August 27, 2017, 11:16 pm
I love sheep and cows equally. Moussaka one night, hamburgers another.
Persephone59
January 11, 2019, 9:42 pm
Tonight was moussaka. :-D
mmfs83
February 18, 2019, 2:08 am
I sure didn't think I'd get this one. I'm not too familiar with sheep or cows.
momn8r
February 11, 2020, 5:47 pm
Udderly ridiculous!
DrCryptell
April 5, 2020, 6:05 am
I went to law for broccoli. Law issued a citation for missing a headlight and I wound up losing my mashed potatoes. I yam so sorry for this nonsense.
Synonymous
May 11, 2020, 5:22 pm
I'm with momn8r!!
badbob
October 4, 2020, 1:04 pm
i knew a korean guy named Ho Lee Kao
kb83
January 18, 2021, 2:40 pm
And if you do lose a cow over a sheep, don't ruminate over it.
jbb33054
October 31, 2021, 10:20 am
119

[LLapp]

"Not on one strand are all life's jewels strung." — William Morris

LLapp
August 31, 2016, 9:15 pm
I was here.

abra
December 27, 2016, 6:47 pm
Me too.

imsoeasy
July 31, 2020, 3:40 pm
I wasn't here and you didn't see me.

LillyLilly
December 8, 2020, 3:40 pm
What do I get for vouching for ya, imsoeasy?

Wordigo
August 15, 2021, 7:22 pm
Two strands. DNA is a molecule composed of two polynucleotide chains that coil around each other to form a double helix carrying genetic instructions in all organisms.

LLapp
October 13, 2021, 4:43 am
Speaking of DNA, William Morris, who was made from the stuff, was a British poet, artist and textile designer who is now most famous (to me, anyway) for his prolific and beautiful contributions to the British Arts and Crafts movement. Google "William Morris wallpaper" and you'll see some very familiar old patterns.

imsoeasy
August 4, 2022, 1:47 am
Lillly, how about you get a 15% cut on the jewels I lifted from Morris while he was hanging wallpaper?

[montyb]

"The less their ability, the more their conceit."
— Ahad HaAm

montyb
May 18, 2014, 4:17 am
Absolutely perfect people, like myself, wood dispute this.

ericthirdrow
October 31, 2014, 5:30 am
Perfect people would use the word would. As wood ironic people.

LLapp
December 22, 2014, 4:22 pm
Perfect golfers use both wood and irony.

puzzleme
June 11, 2015, 9:06 pm
Good one, LLapp!

Persephone59
January 15, 2017, 5:20 pm
Wow, 'forfeit' worked as well as 'conceit' in this.

vintage38
February 11, 2018, 5:43 am
20 seconds

lertsek
March 13, 2018, 1:02 pm
see Trump

Eureka
November 24, 2018, 12:22 pm
Good one, montyb!

Capy
August 14, 2019, 8:49 am
Comments good especially Llapp

FrostySusi
January 15, 2020, 5:06 pm
My highlight of solving a cryptogram is getting the read the comments.

didit
January 4, 2021, 9:19 am
I'm waiting for montyb's response to Llapp.

hrossa
September 18, 2021, 10:01 am
I wonder to whom he was referring? Anyone know?

maradnu
October 7, 2021, 10:43 pm
He can't use irony, since his iron is broken

[mistyswiss]

"The historian has been the hearth at which the soul of the country has been kept alive."
— John Morley

jnoodles
September 19, 2016, 12:56 pm
History is written by historians. Victors be damned!

badbob
February 12, 2019, 2:45 am
victory is written by victorians

montyb
February 7, 2020, 4:52 pm
Who is this Victoria, Badbob, and why are her minions meddling with history?

glassguy
May 7, 2020, 3:34 pm
That, montyb, is Victoria's Secret.

[oddcouple]

"By necessity, by proclivity, and by delight, we all quote. In fact, it is as difficult to appropriate the thoughts of others as it is to invent."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson


oddcouple
December 7, 2014, 10:46 am
I love quotes about quotes.
Spenser
January 16, 2015, 5:51 am
oddcouple just coined a quote about quotes about quotes.
abra
August 21, 2015, 2:18 pm
Spenser just coined a quote, about oddcouple coining a quote, about quotes.
marnita
May 26, 2016, 7:29 am
Quoting quoted quotes about quotes - this could get ridiculous.
marnita
July 20, 2016, 5:14 am
Just ask Melania Trump.
vintage38
April 16, 2018, 7:36 am
54 seconds
BriddlesBob
November 30, 2019, 2:04 am
quoath the raven,nevermore
imported_bees
September 10, 2020, 8:57 pm
I had MY not BY. retryx3
blueladyblue
August 1, 2021, 7:56 pm
So many quotes about quotes about quotes about quotes. Ad nauseum. Love it.
pickleball
November 11, 2021, 3:01 pm
love your name , Ralph!!
gracefulghost
July 7, 2022, 4:13 pm
Custom ID patch on front on uniform of busty lady Marine: Emerson Biggens

[hrossa]

"Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will. " -- Zig Ziglar

montyb
May 10, 2012, 12:51 pm
If I fall off a cliff, I will fly no better than a brick would, regardless of how positively I am thinking about flying.

maradnu
January 20, 2013, 11:08 pm
But you will be so much happier when you hit the ground. ;-)

bansaisequoia
March 25, 2013, 3:55 pm
Will positive thinking make me a better cynic?

wvwoman
October 13, 2013, 8:39 am
(you guys give me such good laughs!)

Quizzical
January 23, 2015, 10:16 am
Better cynic. Oxymoron?

darkyr
May 10, 2016, 7:40 am
Positive thinking will make you the very best cynic.. Now, who's ready for some cliff diving?

killdozer
August 16, 2016, 6:37 pm
I would try to be a positive tinker, but I know I would be terrible at it, so why try? The great thing about being a pessimist is that you are never disappointed.

LLapp
November 1, 2016, 7:23 pm
Birthday card I wish I had bought: "Happy birthday to a pessimist. Here's hoping your birthday isn't as bad as it probably will be anyway."

[oddcouple]

"A true philosopher is like an elephant; he never puts the second foot down until the first one is solidly in place."
— Fontenelle


montyb
June 24, 2012, 12:33 am
I thought he was going to say large and plodding; trampling anything in the way.
tjsrc
December 5, 2013, 9:47 am
With a long nose and sparse hair. As well as able to uproot trees easily.
LLapp
May 7, 2015, 10:23 am
And seven sets of teeth.
kb83
March 30, 2016, 4:05 am
And never forgets? And goes to a "philosopher graveyard"? And says "tusk, tusk"?
BriddlesBob
February 16, 2017, 5:03 pm
and works for peanuts
MamaB
April 17, 2017, 7:25 am
:-)
lertsek
March 12, 2018, 8:40 pm
Cools himself with his ears and uses his nose to bathe.
vintage38
March 21, 2018, 5:16 am
36 seconds
Persephone59
May 27, 2018, 4:22 am
You guys are making me want to go to the zoo. They have a wonderful elephant enclosure here in Portland.
MissKitty
September 24, 2018, 5:07 am
Kilroy 26
kb83
March 21, 2019, 5:38 pm
And sees a lot of gray areas.
bigdave
February 13, 2020, 2:42 pm
Like one of my favorite fictional characters, Stephen Maturin,Fontenelle was a "natural philosopher", so quote refers to scientists.
Elephino
July 4, 2020, 1:03 pm
Y'all remind me of "The Blind Men and the Elephant"
abra
July 28, 2021, 2:11 am
Cracking poor clowns dressed as peanuts.
badbob
November 12, 2021, 5:15 am
i am thinking of the episode of the Mary Tyler Moore show where Chuckles the clown was stomped to death by an elephant because he was dressed like a peanut
montyb
April 9, 2022, 6:51 pm
Persephone, do they have a philosopher enclosure, too?
Eureka
October 11, 2022, 2:34 pm
^You'll find those at most universities.

[LLapp]

"Until three years ago, that was my definition of a celebrity: somebody who gets to ride around in a zamboni." — Justin Bieber

countessofmontecry
November 13, 2011, 12:04 am
That's funny ... mine too!

maradnu
November 15, 2013, 7:58 am
Now he is someone who hires Brazilian prostitutes - and others too, in all likelihood.

momof7
January 12, 2014, 9:27 am
After skating with my boys, we always wait around to watch the zamboni.

abra
July 25, 2015, 9:32 am
My daughter-in-law got to ride on the Zamboni, at a hockey game.

plazz
October 22, 2016, 2:48 am
What's a zamboni for heaven's sake??

Persephone59
April 16, 2017, 8:39 pm
I looked it up... hockey's not a thing here in Portland... and Tanya Harding ruined ice skating... but a Zamboni is a machine for resurfacing ice for rinks so it's smooth.

imsoeasy
November 11, 2018, 5:23 am
That clears that up. A Zamboni is not a Brazilian prostitute.

badbob
October 5, 2019, 3:20 am
tell that to Consuela Zamboni

autumngirl
December 14, 2020, 8:01 pm
I can always count on Bob!

[oddcouple]

"If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old."
— Edgar Watson Howe


maradnu
May 21, 2017, 2:44 pm
Howe did he come to that conclusion?
writeon
February 14, 2018, 4:07 pm
This quote is nothing to laugh at.
DrCryptell
June 2, 2018, 10:47 pm
When I'm old I'll cry all day and all night so I won't have any time to laugh.
Persephone59
September 18, 2018, 4:52 pm
DrCryptell, you are going to have one stuffed-up nose.
Wordigo
December 19, 2021, 12:05 pm
This is why, we, as kids, make troubles just for laughs. And then, when we get older and have grandchildren, the troubles catch up with us.
DaddyOmar
July 11, 2022, 6:08 pm
You will remember all the crazy things you did

[oddcouple]

"Never ask a favor of someone until they have had their dinner. "
— Unattributed


montyb
May 1, 2012, 5:50 pm
For good measure, also give them part of yours.
Lily H
August 16, 2013, 9:43 pm
Don't forget to bring the dessert.
puzzler86
April 21, 2014, 4:41 pm
54 seconds
abra
January 4, 2015, 3:50 pm
Are you through? Would you mind just doin' the dishes?
Spenser
February 5, 2015, 6:19 am
"Could you look at this lesion on my butt and tell me if it looks infected?"
BriddlesBob
November 4, 2015, 12:50 am
or until they have a "winner."
darkyr
February 8, 2017, 3:05 am
Doc already said your butt's gonna fall off. Now pass me the gravy.

[hrossa]

"True happiness comes from doing what's right, not just doing what makes you feel good. " — Unattributed

geeko321
August 15, 2013, 6:43 pm
Shouldn't there be a comma between "right" and "not"?

LLapp
November 6, 2014, 4:45 pm
Yes. Error: Please add a comma after "right."

kb83
April 7, 2015, 11:31 am
But wouldn't adding a comma just feel good?

abra
July 17, 2015, 3:54 pm
LOL, kb83.

marnita
November 8, 2015, 12:04 pm
Adding a comma would be doing what's right.

LLapp
February 3, 2019, 12:53 pm
The righteous Baron has added a comma.

imsoeasy
February 12, 2019, 3:56 pm
The Comma Cons got their way.

No2son
March 1, 2019, 10:50 pm
Comma,comma, down doobie do down down!

[LLapp]

"Crash programs fail because they are based on the theory that, with nine women pregnant, you can get a baby a month." — Wernher von Braun

wvwoman
January 17, 2013, 6:47 am
what?

WRQ9
August 14, 2013, 11:26 pm
Getting nine women pregnant before you crash requires a concentrated effort, at some point it may help to let the first baby drive.

abra
July 14, 2014, 1:19 pm
I don't understand, AT ALL.

abra
April 6, 2016, 2:03 pm
On second thought, WRQ9's comment is hilarious. I think.

abra
June 13, 2016, 2:32 pm
On third thought too. Very funny, WRQ9.

Highpoint
December 31, 2016, 5:51 pm
It's kind of like saying that if it takes a car an hour to get somewhere, then two cars could get there in 30 minutes.

maradnu
November 4, 2017, 2:30 pm
I think he meant that with nine women pregnant, you can get a baby IN a month.

highbrow
November 17, 2017, 4:32 am
If you get nine women pregnant at once I guarantee you the fun part is over.

[oddcouple]

Astrologers are agreed that the squiggles called a horoscope contain some sort of message to be decoded."
— Dennis Elwell

WRQ9
March 20, 2012, 12:35 am
Trending, if you ain't doin' it you ain't modern!
mikehallbackhoe
August 1, 2014, 4:12 am
squiggles took me awhile
LLapp
February 26, 2015, 4:00 pm
Very weird quote.
mtvoyager
March 17, 2015, 9:50 am
49 seconds.
oddcouple
November 5, 2016, 7:17 pm
No wonder Elwell made such a stupid comment. He was a British astrologer. Need we say more?
SippyGurl
February 10, 2017, 9:45 am
oh, i thought it was a funny
ruxpin66
May 14, 2018, 2:00 pm
I kind of thought it was funny until I read oddcouple's comment that Elwell was, himself, an astrologer.
Eureka
November 27, 2018, 11:24 am
"Squiggles" sounds very scientific.
maradnu
August 8, 2019, 11:14 pm
Astrology is about as scientific as squiggles
abra
August 13, 2019, 2:50 am
In my quote the code for that was abra. I think that's the first time that's happened in 10 years.
Deanna48
August 23, 2019, 6:27 pm
^awesome!!
imported_bees
January 18, 2020, 8:54 pm
It was meant to be Abra Written in the code of the universe.
Wordigo
August 8, 2021, 11:38 am
Squinting at squiggles helps read the horoscope.
jukk888
January 22, 2022, 2:07 am
"Squiggles" slowed me down.
maradnu
October 8, 2022, 11:58 pm
The squiggles say 'if you believe this nonsense, you're a schmuck'.

[oddcouple]

"There is no 'I' in TEAM, But there is an I in Win "
— Unattributed


kat
March 22, 2009, 5:12 pm
There's no "I" in TEAM, but there IS a "me".
tabbyclaw
April 13, 2011, 5:59 am
If there is no 'I' in team, and there is no 'U' in team, then just who is on this team?
kb77
September 9, 2011, 5:02 pm
meat. thats who (what). when i heard this quote it was "but there is an i in victory.
dominicclust
May 30, 2012, 3:36 pm
There is no "I" in TEAM, but who cares? Athletes don't need to know how to spell.
WRQ9
November 23, 2012, 6:14 pm
There's a "U" in turn, but you will be left alone.
Lurker
August 7, 2013, 6:56 pm
And if you turn back "time", you get "emit".
kb83
August 12, 2015, 7:06 am
There is "ME" in "TEAM".
skeeter
August 26, 2015, 3:18 pm
tabbyclaw, you made me laugh out loud.
BriddlesBob
December 1, 2015, 5:22 am
But there is an "I" in Gipper!
YorkiesRule
February 8, 2017, 2:44 am
Hey, I reached my personal record in almost 3 years of cryptograms - 12 seconds!
skeeter
March 23, 2017, 7:20 am
Tabby, I'm still laughing.
skeeter
April 20, 2017, 6:13 am
9 seconds and still nowhere near nanrich.
viktoria
May 26, 2018, 5:35 am
But there is an "I" in bite me.
Persephone59
April 25, 2019, 2:15 am
Thank you, Viktoria. Enough of this team talk.
abra
December 29, 2019, 2:40 am
LOL, viktoria! Fly the W!!
bigdave
August 4, 2020, 2:32 pm
Who's on first, tabby?
darkyr
October 4, 2022, 2:46 pm
I guess we are all better off being part of a unit.

[oddcouple]

"Censor: a self-appointed snoophound who sticks his nose in other people's business."
— Bennett Alfred Cerf


Lurker
January 5, 2011, 10:14 pm
Perhaps there should be a colon after Censor?
matarisa
May 3, 2011, 12:52 am
Yes.
justplayin
July 29, 2011, 11:19 pm
Yes,
gryhnd51
November 25, 2011, 2:24 am
"censor" the VERB means to remove, suppress, delete, to express disapproval of. In this quote, it is NOT being used as a noun, in which case a colon would be required.
momof7
March 10, 2013, 7:13 am
It makes sense either way. The lack of a colon here makes censor a verb. With a colon it would be a definition of the noun 'censor'. I think it makes more sense as a noun, but that's not the way it's given here.
kb83
November 14, 2014, 2:48 am
I vote for noun and a colon.
maradnu
January 29, 2015, 12:19 pm
Having a colon is handy. I'd hate to be without one.
montyb
June 19, 2015, 4:23 am
Some censors are intimately acquainted with their own colons.
Roxanne
December 31, 2015, 4:01 am
I bet censor is a noun and the colon is missing. It sounds like Bennett Cerf's style that way, and I doubt he would have urged censoring someone, since he won a big court case against censorship (of James Joyce's Ulysses).
LLapp
May 23, 2016, 2:53 pm
ERROR: Please add a colon after "Censor" per the original quote. To verify: (link)
ruxpin66
November 27, 2016, 7:59 pm
Yes, a colon would be great. I'm tired of looking at the inside of the one I've got.
kb83
November 30, 2016, 7:44 am
Okay, admin. A group colonoscopy has determined that the patient needs a colon transplant.
SippyGurl
December 24, 2016, 6:54 am
oh, is this how snoop dog got his name?
thedarylscrew
February 8, 2017, 11:34 am
Is "snoophound" a word?
Andy451
May 9, 2017, 7:59 am
And thank god for censors people! Can you imagine what kind of stuff Shakespeare would have written if he hadn't had to get all his work approved by the bishop of London? And wouldn't this country be a better place if those yahoos at SNL, The Daly Show, The Colbert Report, and The Bill Maher Show were all permanently silenced? If we just watched Fox News like the president says, almost all our problems would go away. This country would be magically transformed to how it was in the 1860s when there were no government regulations, and polluting the environment and slavery were both 100% legal. If you'd only listen, really listen to Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Donald Tweeter, Ryan somebody, and Whitey Spence, the American Dream would be suddenly realized across the globe, even in Iran, Syria, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Algeria, and Egypt and those other countries the commander-in-chief wants to put under a travel ban. I know some of you skeptics out there will protest and say can censorship alone make our country great again, and build a paradise on earth? You betcha folks! Censorship surely did the job in North Korea. Who wouldn't want to live there? Censorship can do the same job in this country if we are only open-minded enough to give it a chance. All we are saying, is give censorship a chance!
Fudi
December 8, 2019, 12:21 am
All of you have such great censors of humor!
ernests
April 7, 2020, 4:32 am
This Cerf guy is no Ambrose Bierce.
Wordigo
September 16, 2020, 3:57 pm
Colon censor treatment is colonectomy. If he is lucky, it may leave the censor with a semicolon, otherwise, with a period.