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  • "Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."
    — Andrew A. Rooney

    LLapp
    May 5, 2021, 12:45 am
    My mother was terrified of the first computer my father bought in the late 1980s. Once I was using it in their den while she stood at the door but refused to enter; when I offered to show her what I was doing, she went pale and backed away. Weeks later, she met me at my office for lunch and I caught her off guard: I showed her the document still on my screen. "Look," I said, "let's say I really like this paragraph, but I realized it has to come later in the story. Normally, on paper, you would circle it and draw an arrow to where it should go, right?" She nodded. Then I showed her how I could cut it and paste it anywhere else in the article, right on the screen. Her eyes widened to see the deleted text reappear in a new spot. "Or," I added, "I could even paste it down here at the end, in case I don't know where to put it yet. Then I can figure it out later." Her jaw dropped, like someone had given her the gift of her dreams. She went home that day and got right on the computer, and soon she was writing a book.
    Eureka
    July 20, 2021, 7:42 pm
    ^Wow! Great story, LLapp.
    LLapp
    October 22, 2021, 5:32 am
    Oh I like that memory. The book she wrote was a two-volume program for teaching children to play classical guitar. In 2012, her younger teaching colleagues showed up at her funeral to tell us how important that work was, and that "we all use her books -- all of us." Until they spoke that day, I had no idea that her work was so valued by her peers.

    Comment


    • "Go for it now. The future is promised to no one. "
      — Wayne Dyer

      Annamariah
      October 4, 2016, 12:48 am
      If it's not promised to anyone else yet... DIBS!

      SippyGurl
      December 16, 2016, 1:38 pm
      rip dr d

      abra
      February 16, 2017, 12:47 pm
      LOL, Annamarriah.
      "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." -- Albert Einstein

      Comment


      • "If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid."
        — Epictetus

        Capy
        May 18, 2016, 9:09 pm
        I kept trying 'implode'
        darkyr
        February 28, 2017, 7:01 am
        I thought 'implore'
        Persephone59
        May 27, 2017, 12:58 pm
        If you're going to implode, could you please do it outside?
        montyb
        June 17, 2017, 10:16 am
        Content? Nope, I'm just used to it.
        glassguy
        October 4, 2017, 8:05 am
        I Implore you to improve, not implode..
        darkyr
        January 16, 2018, 4:27 pm
        I implored again. How foolish and stupid. But I'm improving... I think.

        Comment


        • "If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it as the old woman did her lost spectacles. Safe on her own nose all the time. "
          — Josh Billings

          pootie49
          March 24, 2009, 12:09 am
          and that is the truth...living proof right here
          montyb
          December 19, 2013, 11:44 am
          AMEN! Ah Pootie, we miss ye.

          Comment


          • "Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it."
            — Don Marquis

            IlLatino
            November 14, 2015, 3:22 am
            I found happiness this morning after a night of fitful sleep and sombre dreams. It was under the south end of my couch with my glasses. It is freakin' DARK at night in San Luis Obispo!
            DrCryptell
            August 16, 2019, 11:31 am
            I left my happiness at my cat's funeral and forgot all about it until my hamster died. When I went looking for it - not the cat, but the happiness - , I found a bag of tears instead and now keep it under my pillow at night - not the hamster - but the bag of tears.
            Wordigo
            October 6, 2020, 8:49 pm
            Sometimes happiness is forgiving and forgetting. The forgetting part gets easier and easier as you grow older.
            Elephino
            March 11, 2021, 8:25 pm
            one of the most existential comment threads here on cryptograms

            Comment


            • "Patience with others is Love. Patience with self is Hope. Patience with God is Faith." — Adel Bestavros

              fredsevent
              November 1, 2012, 12:53 am
              Patience with cards is Solitaire.

              puzzleme
              May 30, 2013, 7:53 am
              Patients with spots is measles.

              universalmom
              February 2, 2014, 7:14 am
              Hahaha...puzzleme, that's hilarious!

              Bethmarywhite
              March 17, 2017, 12:23 am
              patience with tennis is love

              LLapp
              April 22, 2017, 7:53 am
              Patience with sleep is insomnia.

              Barnabas
              June 14, 2018, 11:43 am
              Patience with patients is nursing.

              LLapp
              November 1, 2018, 7:26 pm
              Patients with impatiens is horticulture.

              Eureka
              February 11, 2019, 7:10 am
              Patients with others is contagious.

              gracefulghost
              October 10, 2021, 5:28 pm
              Patience with cryptos is impossible

              Comment


              • Maybe it's just 5 a.m. and I'm giddy, but here's another one....

                "Many people believe they are attracted by God, or by Nature, when they are only repelled by man." — William Ralph Inge

                blueladyblue
                March 3, 2018, 9:27 am
                This is an interesting point of view coming from a man of the cloth, one that I agree with completely. Of course, there are other impetuses that direct people's reliance on religion; fear of death being one.

                LLapp
                August 14, 2018, 6:05 pm
                Attraction to cloth being another.

                Eureka
                October 31, 2018, 10:13 am
                I believe in magnetic attraction.

                No2son
                June 11, 2019, 7:19 am
                I like coming attractions.

                Roxanne
                October 28, 2020, 6:35 pm
                Attraction to cloth -- of which a corollary is the desire to buy MORE YARN MORE YARN MUST HAVE MORE YARN... Gotta go, my yarn store closes in 26 minutes...

                Comment


                • "Do it this very moment, Don't put it off, There's no use in doing a kindness, if you do it a day too late. "
                  — Unattributed

                  LLapp
                  May 21, 2015, 6:24 am

                  From the epic poem "Ode to the Comma," period unknown.

                  kb83
                  September 25, 2015, 3:44 am

                  ha-ha. Unattributed does seem to have a comma fetish.

                  debzhaus
                  June 4, 2016, 4:27 am

                  LLapp is awesome!

                  abra
                  August 6, 2018, 11:31 am

                  I like an unattributed quote that uses commas with abandon.

                  Comment


                  • Many great comments and Mohamm1 sums it up.

                    "When it comes to spotting a blonde hair on a man's coat, every wife has 20-20 vision. "
                    — Unattributed

                    opallady
                    June 29, 2010, 9:28 pm
                    What if the wife is blonde?

                    pootie49
                    May 2, 2011, 11:26 pm
                    its not mine.

                    Hash
                    July 15, 2013, 12:35 am
                    What if HE is blonde?

                    jobdevaa
                    September 1, 2013, 5:46 pm
                    Stoopid

                    montyb
                    July 22, 2015, 3:23 pm
                    What if he has a golden retriever?

                    LLapp
                    August 24, 2016, 8:52 am
                    What if it's a mohair coat?

                    montyb
                    April 6, 2017, 1:38 am
                    Then he also has electric boots, LLapp.

                    letfreedomring
                    April 21, 2017, 3:45 pm
                    You know I read it in a magazine....

                    maradnu
                    December 20, 2017, 6:02 am
                    The lesson is - Always mess around with women who have the same hair color as your wife.

                    oddcouple
                    January 21, 2018, 4:28 pm
                    My wife would be upset if there WASN'T a blonde hair on my coat-hers!

                    DrCryptell
                    April 1, 2018, 3:34 pm
                    That's why gentlemen prefer blinds?

                    abra
                    October 27, 2018, 11:09 am
                    I don't think I've ever even thought about looking for a hair on my husbands coat. If I saw one I'd be sure it was one of ours.

                    badbob
                    April 18, 2019, 7:29 am
                    name a color. yes my wife's hair has been that one . name another one. yep, that too our cat however, is an equal opportunity shedder

                    maradnu
                    September 18, 2019, 11:04 pm
                    Sounds pretty sheddy to me

                    mohamm1
                    August 11, 2021, 10:51 pm
                    I can't think of anything to add to this. LOL at the three Benny & the Jets references.
                    "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." -- Albert Einstein

                    Comment


                    • "I may be president of the United States, but my private life is nobody's damned business."
                      — Chester A. Arthur

                      nedzeppelin1453
                      May 11, 2019, 12:38 am
                      I suspect he was a bit defensive about the 80 pairs of pants.

                      skeeter
                      August 4, 2019, 1:07 pm
                      Those were his Chester drawers.

                      xenia
                      September 16, 2021, 7:49 pm
                      Thanks Skeeter! I needed a corny joke tonight .
                      "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." -- Albert Einstein

                      Comment


                      • "If you don't have a teacher you can't have a disciple." — Dallas Willard

                        Eureka
                        April 22, 2019, 2:44 pm
                        Why did the teacher cross the street?

                        Eureka
                        May 1, 2020, 3:23 pm
                        And by street, I meant road.

                        Eureka
                        January 3, 2021, 12:05 pm
                        Okay, by road, I meant eyes. Why did the teacher cross his eyes? Because he couldn't control his pupils.

                        hrossa
                        May 24, 2021, 8:20 pm
                        LOL Eureka. I'm you're disciple on this one!

                        Comment


                        • "Example moves the world more than doctrine. The great exemplars are the poets of action, and it makes little difference whether they be forces for good or forces for evil. "
                          — Henry Miller


                          jalexica
                          April 6, 2012, 6:36 am
                          monkey see...
                          Allen
                          December 28, 2012, 8:59 pm
                          Monkey? Si!
                          montyb
                          March 1, 2014, 11:48 am
                          Monkey Sea.
                          JD_1947
                          November 16, 2014, 12:14 pm
                          So, in other words they void each other out and don't really set an example one way or the other . .
                          LLapp
                          February 26, 2015, 2:04 pm
                          That photo of Henry looks a little like a monkey -- see?
                          phthelen
                          August 23, 2017, 2:42 pm
                          Do.
                          oddcouple
                          December 22, 2017, 11:51 pm
                          monkey si
                          Persephone59
                          March 21, 2018, 12:43 am
                          I had some sea monkeys at one time. Also Magic Rocks.
                          maradnu
                          June 7, 2018, 2:53 pm
                          Monk E? Si.
                          lertsek
                          June 12, 2018, 9:57 pm
                          Ah, sea monkeys. Marketing at its finest.
                          imsoeasy
                          November 3, 2018, 11:58 pm
                          Aside from all the monkey's, this is a perceptive quote.
                          Wordigo
                          June 9, 2020, 11:46 am
                          Poets of actions are dancers. Let’s rock and roll around the world.
                          abra
                          May 28, 2021, 10:25 pm
                          Every little kid who read comic books, wanted sea monkeys. Well, at least I did. They would have been a huge disappointment. I wanted the little family that played together, not the ones that look like fish food..

                          Comment


                          • "There is a fine line between serendipity and stalking."
                            — David Coleman

                            badbob
                            September 27, 2019, 3:38 am
                            just because you follow somebody around for a month or two, ......
                            blueladyblue
                            June 5, 2020, 4:28 pm
                            Fancy meeting you here...

                            Comment


                            • "A plan is just a tangent vector on the manifold of reality."
                              — Scratch Garrison

                              montyb
                              August 1, 2013, 9:47 pm
                              Oooooh! Getting into topological spaces are we?
                              abra
                              September 13, 2014, 2:59 pm
                              I'm shocked that I got this one, more shocked that I ended up (just barely) in the average column.
                              marnita
                              November 30, 2014, 10:25 am
                              71 seconds! I am so proud of myself!
                              wvwoman
                              December 1, 2014, 6:11 pm
                              i'm proud of my "fast" time!
                              abra
                              December 22, 2014, 6:15 am
                              Ha! This time I'm right on the line. "Half-Fast".
                              fishbum
                              October 20, 2015, 9:13 am
                              Don't start vast projects with half-vast ideas.
                              LLapp
                              May 13, 2016, 11:18 am
                              abra, you are not half-ast!
                              marnita
                              July 12, 2016, 12:20 pm
                              86 seconds this time, but still not bad for a person who has no idea what a tangent vector or a manifold is.
                              abra
                              October 23, 2016, 9:41 am
                              This time I'm watching the replay of the Cubs game, you know when they became the NL champions. I'm putting that in there for posterity. Anyway, I didn't realize I'd stopped so long to watch and I got 447 seconds. Oops.
                              lainecap
                              November 11, 2016, 2:55 pm
                              wasn't watching the Cubs, ab, and got 419.
                              MamaB
                              July 11, 2017, 6:48 am
                              Same experience, marnita!
                              Annamariah
                              November 11, 2017, 10:16 pm
                              I'm really surprised I got this in 24 seconds o_O
                              kb83
                              November 17, 2017, 9:12 am
                              "Tangent, Secant, Cosine, Sine. 3.14159"
                              ruxpin66
                              May 14, 2018, 3:01 pm
                              42 seconds. "Very fast." I have no idea. Somehow, it just typed itself.
                              Fudi
                              November 18, 2019, 9:53 pm
                              Who the heck is Scratch Garrison? I'm itchin' to find out. (I can't find anything on him/her except the attribution of this quote.)
                              puffybob
                              May 13, 2020, 2:32 am
                              Apparently he was a parachuting champion: (link)
                              jbb33054
                              November 7, 2021, 8:05 am
                              189

                              Comment


                              • My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she said."
                                — Unattributed


                                Queethebean
                                May 10, 2012, 10:50 pm
                                This isn't unattributed--my husband said it. Mr. QueeTheBean
                                bansaisequoia
                                August 9, 2012, 3:48 am
                                Is he a drone or a worker?
                                wvwoman
                                March 5, 2013, 4:38 pm
                                a worker bean?!
                                Barnabas
                                April 5, 2014, 11:35 am
                                What?
                                nancypoo
                                October 4, 2014, 1:44 pm
                                It's a play on bees. Queen, drone, worker...
                                abra
                                January 5, 2015, 11:59 am
                                Except she's not a bee, she's a bean.
                                dovid1946
                                May 7, 2015, 8:07 am
                                what is his first name? string? lima? fava?
                                gryhnd51
                                October 7, 2015, 6:52 pm
                                Queen, I'm sure you must be mistaken. I'm absolutely sure that MY husband said this.
                                Barnabas
                                April 21, 2016, 5:11 am
                                Huh?
                                maradnu
                                June 14, 2016, 2:45 am
                                My wife often accuses me of not listening to her - then gets quite irritated when I repeat what she said back to her verbatim.
                                marnita
                                July 12, 2016, 4:55 am
                                If anything is worse than not being listened to, it is being heard and ignored.
                                louploup
                                September 26, 2016, 12:40 am
                                maradnu, she's probably irritated because of what marnita said....d'yathink!!
                                badbob
                                August 29, 2017, 8:51 pm
                                what about when you're doing cryptos?
                                lertsek
                                March 27, 2018, 3:58 pm
                                ...I'll ask her at halftime.
                                xlr8r
                                July 24, 2018, 9:02 am
                                I have a T-shirt that says "My wife says I never listen - I think"
                                kahvecowgirl
                                September 30, 2018, 4:07 pm
                                There's a difference between listening and having a good echoic memory.
                                oddcouple
                                March 9, 2019, 11:34 pm
                                My wife just said this to me a half hour ago.
                                jbb33054
                                April 13, 2019, 12:47 pm
                                108
                                badbob
                                July 4, 2019, 9:04 am
                                i have a hearing aid with volume control
                                MissKitty
                                November 30, 2019, 2:43 pm
                                HEY KILROY WHAT DID YOU SAY SO TRUE IN OUR MARRIAGE. HA BEAT YOU AGAIN
                                kb83
                                July 7, 2021, 1:51 pm
                                It sounds like something Henny Youngman or Rodney Dangerfield would have said.
                                jnoodles
                                December 19, 2021, 11:52 am
                                Projection. Not agreeing with or indulging someone, doesn't mean you aren't listening. It's hard to be 100% aware and have perfect recall for everything someone who never shuts up says. Also, arguing with someone who has no idea what you say/said, but who insists they have perfect recall and gaslights you can be frustrating. This is ended easily with recordings. Then you have to fight about why you were recording. Better to just kick them out or leave yourself.

                                Comment

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