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  • "If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid."
    — Epictetus

    Capy
    May 18, 2016, 9:09 pm
    I kept trying 'implode'
    darkyr
    February 28, 2017, 7:01 am
    I thought 'implore'
    Persephone59
    May 27, 2017, 12:58 pm
    If you're going to implode, could you please do it outside?
    montyb
    June 17, 2017, 10:16 am
    Content? Nope, I'm just used to it.
    glassguy
    October 4, 2017, 8:05 am
    I Implore you to improve, not implode..
    darkyr
    January 16, 2018, 4:27 pm
    I implored again. How foolish and stupid. But I'm improving... I think.

    Comment


    • "If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it as the old woman did her lost spectacles. Safe on her own nose all the time. "
      — Josh Billings

      pootie49
      March 24, 2009, 12:09 am
      and that is the truth...living proof right here
      montyb
      December 19, 2013, 11:44 am
      AMEN! Ah Pootie, we miss ye.

      Comment


      • "Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it."
        — Don Marquis

        IlLatino
        November 14, 2015, 3:22 am
        I found happiness this morning after a night of fitful sleep and sombre dreams. It was under the south end of my couch with my glasses. It is freakin' DARK at night in San Luis Obispo!
        DrCryptell
        August 16, 2019, 11:31 am
        I left my happiness at my cat's funeral and forgot all about it until my hamster died. When I went looking for it - not the cat, but the happiness - , I found a bag of tears instead and now keep it under my pillow at night - not the hamster - but the bag of tears.
        Wordigo
        October 6, 2020, 8:49 pm
        Sometimes happiness is forgiving and forgetting. The forgetting part gets easier and easier as you grow older.
        Elephino
        March 11, 2021, 8:25 pm
        one of the most existential comment threads here on cryptograms

        Comment


        • "Patience with others is Love. Patience with self is Hope. Patience with God is Faith." — Adel Bestavros

          fredsevent
          November 1, 2012, 12:53 am
          Patience with cards is Solitaire.

          puzzleme
          May 30, 2013, 7:53 am
          Patients with spots is measles.

          universalmom
          February 2, 2014, 7:14 am
          Hahaha...puzzleme, that's hilarious!

          Bethmarywhite
          March 17, 2017, 12:23 am
          patience with tennis is love

          LLapp
          April 22, 2017, 7:53 am
          Patience with sleep is insomnia.

          Barnabas
          June 14, 2018, 11:43 am
          Patience with patients is nursing.

          LLapp
          November 1, 2018, 7:26 pm
          Patients with impatiens is horticulture.

          Eureka
          February 11, 2019, 7:10 am
          Patients with others is contagious.

          gracefulghost
          October 10, 2021, 5:28 pm
          Patience with cryptos is impossible

          Comment


          • Maybe it's just 5 a.m. and I'm giddy, but here's another one....

            "Many people believe they are attracted by God, or by Nature, when they are only repelled by man." — William Ralph Inge

            blueladyblue
            March 3, 2018, 9:27 am
            This is an interesting point of view coming from a man of the cloth, one that I agree with completely. Of course, there are other impetuses that direct people's reliance on religion; fear of death being one.

            LLapp
            August 14, 2018, 6:05 pm
            Attraction to cloth being another.

            Eureka
            October 31, 2018, 10:13 am
            I believe in magnetic attraction.

            No2son
            June 11, 2019, 7:19 am
            I like coming attractions.

            Roxanne
            October 28, 2020, 6:35 pm
            Attraction to cloth -- of which a corollary is the desire to buy MORE YARN MORE YARN MUST HAVE MORE YARN... Gotta go, my yarn store closes in 26 minutes...

            Comment


            • "Do it this very moment, Don't put it off, There's no use in doing a kindness, if you do it a day too late. "
              — Unattributed

              LLapp
              May 21, 2015, 6:24 am

              From the epic poem "Ode to the Comma," period unknown.

              kb83
              September 25, 2015, 3:44 am

              ha-ha. Unattributed does seem to have a comma fetish.

              debzhaus
              June 4, 2016, 4:27 am

              LLapp is awesome!

              abra
              August 6, 2018, 11:31 am

              I like an unattributed quote that uses commas with abandon.

              Comment


              • Many great comments and Mohamm1 sums it up.

                "When it comes to spotting a blonde hair on a man's coat, every wife has 20-20 vision. "
                — Unattributed

                opallady
                June 29, 2010, 9:28 pm
                What if the wife is blonde?

                pootie49
                May 2, 2011, 11:26 pm
                its not mine.

                Hash
                July 15, 2013, 12:35 am
                What if HE is blonde?

                jobdevaa
                September 1, 2013, 5:46 pm
                Stoopid

                montyb
                July 22, 2015, 3:23 pm
                What if he has a golden retriever?

                LLapp
                August 24, 2016, 8:52 am
                What if it's a mohair coat?

                montyb
                April 6, 2017, 1:38 am
                Then he also has electric boots, LLapp.

                letfreedomring
                April 21, 2017, 3:45 pm
                You know I read it in a magazine....

                maradnu
                December 20, 2017, 6:02 am
                The lesson is - Always mess around with women who have the same hair color as your wife.

                oddcouple
                January 21, 2018, 4:28 pm
                My wife would be upset if there WASN'T a blonde hair on my coat-hers!

                DrCryptell
                April 1, 2018, 3:34 pm
                That's why gentlemen prefer blinds?

                abra
                October 27, 2018, 11:09 am
                I don't think I've ever even thought about looking for a hair on my husbands coat. If I saw one I'd be sure it was one of ours.

                badbob
                April 18, 2019, 7:29 am
                name a color. yes my wife's hair has been that one . name another one. yep, that too our cat however, is an equal opportunity shedder

                maradnu
                September 18, 2019, 11:04 pm
                Sounds pretty sheddy to me

                mohamm1
                August 11, 2021, 10:51 pm
                I can't think of anything to add to this. LOL at the three Benny & the Jets references.
                [B][I]"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."[/I] [/B]-- Albert Einstein

                Comment


                • "I may be president of the United States, but my private life is nobody's damned business."
                  — Chester A. Arthur

                  nedzeppelin1453
                  May 11, 2019, 12:38 am
                  I suspect he was a bit defensive about the 80 pairs of pants.

                  skeeter
                  August 4, 2019, 1:07 pm
                  Those were his Chester drawers.

                  xenia
                  September 16, 2021, 7:49 pm
                  Thanks Skeeter! I needed a corny joke tonight .
                  [B][I]"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."[/I] [/B]-- Albert Einstein

                  Comment


                  • "If you don't have a teacher you can't have a disciple." — Dallas Willard

                    Eureka
                    April 22, 2019, 2:44 pm
                    Why did the teacher cross the street?

                    Eureka
                    May 1, 2020, 3:23 pm
                    And by street, I meant road.

                    Eureka
                    January 3, 2021, 12:05 pm
                    Okay, by road, I meant eyes. Why did the teacher cross his eyes? Because he couldn't control his pupils.

                    hrossa
                    May 24, 2021, 8:20 pm
                    LOL Eureka. I'm you're disciple on this one!

                    Comment


                    • "Example moves the world more than doctrine. The great exemplars are the poets of action, and it makes little difference whether they be forces for good or forces for evil. "
                      — Henry Miller


                      jalexica
                      April 6, 2012, 6:36 am
                      monkey see...
                      Allen
                      December 28, 2012, 8:59 pm
                      Monkey? Si!
                      montyb
                      March 1, 2014, 11:48 am
                      Monkey Sea.
                      JD_1947
                      November 16, 2014, 12:14 pm
                      So, in other words they void each other out and don't really set an example one way or the other . .
                      LLapp
                      February 26, 2015, 2:04 pm
                      That photo of Henry looks a little like a monkey -- see?
                      phthelen
                      August 23, 2017, 2:42 pm
                      Do.
                      oddcouple
                      December 22, 2017, 11:51 pm
                      monkey si
                      Persephone59
                      March 21, 2018, 12:43 am
                      I had some sea monkeys at one time. Also Magic Rocks.
                      maradnu
                      June 7, 2018, 2:53 pm
                      Monk E? Si.
                      lertsek
                      June 12, 2018, 9:57 pm
                      Ah, sea monkeys. Marketing at its finest.
                      imsoeasy
                      November 3, 2018, 11:58 pm
                      Aside from all the monkey's, this is a perceptive quote.
                      Wordigo
                      June 9, 2020, 11:46 am
                      Poets of actions are dancers. Let’s rock and roll around the world.
                      abra
                      May 28, 2021, 10:25 pm
                      Every little kid who read comic books, wanted sea monkeys. Well, at least I did. They would have been a huge disappointment. I wanted the little family that played together, not the ones that look like fish food..

                      Comment


                      • "There is a fine line between serendipity and stalking."
                        — David Coleman

                        badbob
                        September 27, 2019, 3:38 am
                        just because you follow somebody around for a month or two, ......
                        blueladyblue
                        June 5, 2020, 4:28 pm
                        Fancy meeting you here...

                        Comment


                        • "A plan is just a tangent vector on the manifold of reality."
                          — Scratch Garrison

                          montyb
                          August 1, 2013, 9:47 pm
                          Oooooh! Getting into topological spaces are we?
                          abra
                          September 13, 2014, 2:59 pm
                          I'm shocked that I got this one, more shocked that I ended up (just barely) in the average column.
                          marnita
                          November 30, 2014, 10:25 am
                          71 seconds! I am so proud of myself!
                          wvwoman
                          December 1, 2014, 6:11 pm
                          i'm proud of my "fast" time!
                          abra
                          December 22, 2014, 6:15 am
                          Ha! This time I'm right on the line. "Half-Fast".
                          fishbum
                          October 20, 2015, 9:13 am
                          Don't start vast projects with half-vast ideas.
                          LLapp
                          May 13, 2016, 11:18 am
                          abra, you are not half-ast!
                          marnita
                          July 12, 2016, 12:20 pm
                          86 seconds this time, but still not bad for a person who has no idea what a tangent vector or a manifold is.
                          abra
                          October 23, 2016, 9:41 am
                          This time I'm watching the replay of the Cubs game, you know when they became the NL champions. I'm putting that in there for posterity. Anyway, I didn't realize I'd stopped so long to watch and I got 447 seconds. Oops.
                          lainecap
                          November 11, 2016, 2:55 pm
                          wasn't watching the Cubs, ab, and got 419.
                          MamaB
                          July 11, 2017, 6:48 am
                          Same experience, marnita!
                          Annamariah
                          November 11, 2017, 10:16 pm
                          I'm really surprised I got this in 24 seconds o_O
                          kb83
                          November 17, 2017, 9:12 am
                          "Tangent, Secant, Cosine, Sine. 3.14159"
                          ruxpin66
                          May 14, 2018, 3:01 pm
                          42 seconds. "Very fast." I have no idea. Somehow, it just typed itself.
                          Fudi
                          November 18, 2019, 9:53 pm
                          Who the heck is Scratch Garrison? I'm itchin' to find out. (I can't find anything on him/her except the attribution of this quote.)
                          puffybob
                          May 13, 2020, 2:32 am
                          Apparently he was a parachuting champion: (link)
                          jbb33054
                          November 7, 2021, 8:05 am
                          189

                          Comment


                          • My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she said."
                            — Unattributed


                            Queethebean
                            May 10, 2012, 10:50 pm
                            This isn't unattributed--my husband said it. Mr. QueeTheBean
                            bansaisequoia
                            August 9, 2012, 3:48 am
                            Is he a drone or a worker?
                            wvwoman
                            March 5, 2013, 4:38 pm
                            a worker bean?!
                            Barnabas
                            April 5, 2014, 11:35 am
                            What?
                            nancypoo
                            October 4, 2014, 1:44 pm
                            It's a play on bees. Queen, drone, worker...
                            abra
                            January 5, 2015, 11:59 am
                            Except she's not a bee, she's a bean.
                            dovid1946
                            May 7, 2015, 8:07 am
                            what is his first name? string? lima? fava?
                            gryhnd51
                            October 7, 2015, 6:52 pm
                            Queen, I'm sure you must be mistaken. I'm absolutely sure that MY husband said this.
                            Barnabas
                            April 21, 2016, 5:11 am
                            Huh?
                            maradnu
                            June 14, 2016, 2:45 am
                            My wife often accuses me of not listening to her - then gets quite irritated when I repeat what she said back to her verbatim.
                            marnita
                            July 12, 2016, 4:55 am
                            If anything is worse than not being listened to, it is being heard and ignored.
                            louploup
                            September 26, 2016, 12:40 am
                            maradnu, she's probably irritated because of what marnita said....d'yathink!!
                            badbob
                            August 29, 2017, 8:51 pm
                            what about when you're doing cryptos?
                            lertsek
                            March 27, 2018, 3:58 pm
                            ...I'll ask her at halftime.
                            xlr8r
                            July 24, 2018, 9:02 am
                            I have a T-shirt that says "My wife says I never listen - I think"
                            kahvecowgirl
                            September 30, 2018, 4:07 pm
                            There's a difference between listening and having a good echoic memory.
                            oddcouple
                            March 9, 2019, 11:34 pm
                            My wife just said this to me a half hour ago.
                            jbb33054
                            April 13, 2019, 12:47 pm
                            108
                            badbob
                            July 4, 2019, 9:04 am
                            i have a hearing aid with volume control
                            MissKitty
                            November 30, 2019, 2:43 pm
                            HEY KILROY WHAT DID YOU SAY SO TRUE IN OUR MARRIAGE. HA BEAT YOU AGAIN
                            kb83
                            July 7, 2021, 1:51 pm
                            It sounds like something Henny Youngman or Rodney Dangerfield would have said.
                            jnoodles
                            December 19, 2021, 11:52 am
                            Projection. Not agreeing with or indulging someone, doesn't mean you aren't listening. It's hard to be 100% aware and have perfect recall for everything someone who never shuts up says. Also, arguing with someone who has no idea what you say/said, but who insists they have perfect recall and gaslights you can be frustrating. This is ended easily with recordings. Then you have to fight about why you were recording. Better to just kick them out or leave yourself.

                            Comment


                            • "Youth is a perpetual intoxication; it is a fever of the mind."
                              — Francois de la Rochefoucauld


                              fishbum
                              June 3, 2014, 5:45 pm
                              Try the 'X' stupid.
                              LLapp
                              May 7, 2015, 4:43 pm
                              JJ20paws
                              January 26, 2016, 4:23 am
                              I've got the fever
                              Capy
                              September 14, 2016, 11:56 pm
                              I wrote Mouth
                              Spellbinder44
                              January 25, 2017, 2:46 am
                              I had " It is a (n)ever o(n) the mind". Then, I cheated by Googling it.
                              darkyr
                              October 17, 2018, 8:42 am
                              Excessive Googling is a symptom of something, I forget what. Wait, let me google it.
                              LLapp
                              October 5, 2019, 4:53 am
                              I wonder what I wanted to say nearly 4 and a half years ago when I was young and drunk with fever.
                              kh.aotic
                              April 18, 2020, 12:09 am
                              I had "fever of the king" rip
                              Synonymous
                              January 27, 2021, 5:20 pm
                              fishbum made me laugh. I did the same.
                              Wordigo
                              September 20, 2021, 2:15 pm
                              Not really perpetual. How can I get that fever again?

                              Comment


                              • "A three-year-old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm."
                                — Bill Vaughan

                                MarcusAurelius
                                September 17, 2011, 11:32 am
                                I wonder where I could find a fifty-six dollar set of swings.
                                Peachy..Keen
                                July 15, 2012, 4:38 pm
                                Does that mean that I'm still a three-year-old child, at heart?
                                Barnabas
                                August 17, 2012, 5:59 pm
                                ...and occasionally the 3-year-old child gets a little more nutrition out of the worm than he/she does out of the swing.
                                Allen
                                February 2, 2013, 3:50 pm
                                How 'bout a fifty-six dollar small green worm?
                                opallady
                                June 3, 2013, 6:08 pm
                                Or the box the swing set came in.
                                mmfs83
                                June 14, 2016, 8:56 am
                                The box that contained our grandfather clock served as a coffin for many Halloweens to come.
                                Persephone59
                                June 16, 2018, 12:09 pm
                                The swing set box should be given to cats. My two love it when I get a package, because I immediately give them the box to play with: sit on, in, hide in. Cat toys, bah!
                                MamaB
                                April 18, 2019, 12:41 pm
                                You can find a $56 swing in 1956, I bet.

                                Comment

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