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  • "When the student is ready... the lesson appears." — Gene Oliver

    Allen on June 3rd, 2013
    When the student isn't ready, the pop quiz appears.

    LLapp on January 14th, 2015
    HAHA.

    bwbaer on March 15th, 2017
    Sounds zen.

    skeeter on December 22nd, 2017
    Definitely zen. When zee student is ready, zen zee lesson appears.

    Comment


    • "There are big ships and small ships. But the best ship of all is friendship."

      Skeeter, my cousins had autograph hounds in the 50s. Wow, haven't thought of those in a lo-ong time.

      Comment


      • Touching neighbor stories...

        "The impersonal hand of government can never replace the helping hand of a neighbor." — Hubert H. Humphrey

        countessofmontecrypto on May 17th, 2011
        Unfortunately, we seldom get to choose our neighbors. Or even vote for or against them.

        opallady on May 25th, 2011
        My neighbors loaned me a car with an automatic transmission when I broke my right wrist four years ago and couldn't shift my pickup's gears.

        kb77 on November 2nd, 2011
        my neighbor is an elderly lady who lives up the lane in front of our farm. she and her hubby use to own our place and then sold it and built a smaller house up front. she is the most wonderful old girl, full of piss and vinegar, and my kids love 'grandma helen'. we take care of her land and maintence and take her meals often. she then helps with kids...like a recxent surgery i had, i couldnt drive and she picked my kids up every day. my kids learn to help her with chores and it is a good lesson for them to help her, and the love they get in return is priceless.

        wvwoman on January 31st, 2013
        thank you, opallady and kb77, for sharing those 'warm fuzzies'!.

        kjmcaj on May 17th, 2013
        100 seconds.

        jnoodles on July 21st, 2013
        My neighbor solved it in 90 seconds.

        abra on November 5th, 2014
        LOL, jnoodles.

        dovid1946 on May 7th, 2015
        I live in a 55 and older development. Very quiet. The only sound you hear is the ambulance taking another one of us to the hospital.

        darkyr on December 1st, 2016
        My neighbor and I feed a clowder of stray cats, he in the morning and I in the evening. What is funny about the unspoken arrangement is that he started out filling a bowl I had for them on the side of my driveway. When I began feeding them in a more sheltered spot on the other side of the house, he continued to fill my bowl on my driveway. Eventually that bowl broke. He replaced it with a new bowl. All the while, the bowl sits on my driveway. He never feeds them on his own yard or driveway that borders mine.

        SippyGurl on February 7th, 2017
        a tornado ran through our part of the state this morning. we have bent street signs etc in our area, but a few miles away some streets were devastated. the kicker is, they were also hit badly during katrina. the best part is how the community pulled together. they went around looking for their neighbors, some helping others out of bad spots. it is heartbreaking, but no one being interviewed is screaming or crying as they look at the rubble that was their home. they talk of - wow a friends daughter and baby are on the news right now, they were in a building that blew away and threw them onto a car, both are ok - surviving and rebuilding

        LLapp on February 3rd, 2018
        SippyGurl, that was a riveting real-time report in the middle of the timeless comments column. I wonder how everyone is doing now.

        Comment


        • "For me there is no greater subject than history. How a man can study it and not be forced to become a philosopher, I cannot tell." — George E. Wilson

          tskaggs6 on February 16th, 2015
          I don't know how he has time to study anything what that imp Dennis living next door and popping in all the time.

          abra on May 9th, 2015
          :0)

          Comment


          • "As I get older, I've learned to listen to people rather than accuse them of things."
            — Po Bronson


            maradnu on April 10th, 2010
            Would that there were more of this in American politics today.

            montyb on March 30th, 2014
            The Grasshopper has much to learn, Master Po.

            LLapp on May 28th, 2015
            The speaker has bad grammar, which threw me. He should have said either "As I've gotten older, I've learned" or "As I get older, I'm learning." And Google tells me that Po Bronson is a journalist and novelist. Feh.

            Persephone59 on July 30th, 2017
            Calm down, grammar Nazi.

            SippyGurl on August 17th, 2017
            po grammar bronson ;p

            MamaB on August 24th, 2017
            I saw bansai say once that he doesn't read the quotes until after he solves them. I'm learning to do that more. It let's me overlook those grammar/logic issues.

            badbob on January 1st, 2018
            the object is to solve the quote. if you can do that even with poor punctuation and grammar it is a testament to your skills

            darkyr on February 23rd, 2018
            Calm down, grammar Nazi hunter.

            BriddlesBob on March 14th, 2018
            Calm down, "calm downer" Nazis.

            abra on August 13th, 2018
            LOL, each comment was funnier than the last. I've got nuthin'.

            kleinw2000 on August 16th, 2018
            Calm down, commenter.

            badbob on August 17th, 2018
            the russet burbank is not a common tater

            mtvoyager on December 14th, 2018
            No one is listening to the quote. Just accusing him of bad grammer.

            maradnu on January 21st, 2019
            Frankly, if it's what he said, get over it. People use 'bad grammar' all the time in everyday life.

            jimmy on January 23rd, 2019
            There ain't nothin' wrong with that as long as grammar is a means of communicating instead of merely displaying an elitist affliction.

            Comment


            • "In old times men used their powers of painting to show the objects of faith, in later times they use the objects of faith to show their powers of painting." — John Ruskin

              kb83 on June 24th, 2014
              In both cases, ya' got 'yer religious paintings.

              Comment


              • Monty sounds like me!

                "I am human and let nothing human be alien to me. "
                — Terence

                oddcouple on November 14th, 2014
                human-woman

                kb83 on June 15th, 2015
                "I am woman" . Isn't that a song?

                RustySkipper on June 5th, 2016
                I am man and let nothing woman be a lien to me.

                SippyGurl on February 28th, 2018
                hear me roar

                montyb on September 6th, 2018
                I am man! Hear me snore.

                Comment


                • "It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows."
                  — Epictetus

                  wvwoman on September 21st, 2012
                  i know i'm glad i'm not a man with the name epictetus--goodness!!

                  wolf on March 17th, 2015
                  Then again, maybe Epicetus is Greek for "Smith".

                  SippyGurl on October 17th, 2015
                  your epictetus are showing

                  LLapp on July 3rd, 2016
                  They can't be; I had them removed.

                  killdozer on September 5th, 2016
                  Yeah, yeah, tell me something I DON'T know.

                  seastar228 on January 29th, 2018
                  Don't bother to ask directions either.

                  Comment


                  • "He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have." — Socrates

                    puffybob on February 9th, 2013
                    More quotes about how the poor should pipe down.

                    jstrider on November 5th, 2013
                    In a way this is speaking towards those who covet what others have. I've noticed that when I finally get something another person has, I'm not always that happy with it.

                    montyb on October 22nd, 2014
                    I agree with jstrider. It seems the person I took it from is always a bit teed off about it. Who needs that?

                    SippyGurl on September 26th, 2015
                    lol montyb

                    jnoodles on October 28th, 2016
                    Give it back!!!!! Oh well. I guess I should be content with what I have left after montyb robbed me and ran off with my wife in my car. Life is good.

                    Comment


                    • Post number 1001

                      And Lisa has given us our 1000th post on the thread. Highly appropriate since she started it. Hope it goes another 1000. It's been a lot of fun finding comments to post and to read those that others have found. Thanks, Lisa!

                      Comment


                      • WOW - I didn't even notice it was post 1,000! Amazing.

                        Thanks for that nice note, Oddcouple. Yes, this is still fun. The comments are the prize at the bottom of the box.

                        Lisa

                        Comment


                        • "Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it. "
                          — Josh Billings

                          locodad on April 20th, 2013
                          how do you spell prophesy? I thought it was with a c

                          chopstix on September 12th, 2013
                          I agree with the c!

                          oddcouple on October 4th, 2013
                          Prophesy is a verb. Prophecy is a noun.

                          Lurker on May 25th, 2014
                          We went over this in another quote. Oddcouple is right.

                          Quizzical on June 17th, 2014
                          As for the quote, Billings is correct even today. The only difference - we have video recordings to remember. No matter how many times someone is correct with predictions, they get ignored.

                          kb83 on June 1st, 2015
                          Prophets prophesy prophecies.

                          marnita on October 6th, 2015
                          I will never remember which is which. This time I guessed right.

                          tgreen517 on October 31st, 2015
                          But do the profit from prophesying prophecies?

                          kb83 on December 23rd, 2015
                          tgreen517-- How much profit could a prophet profit from prophesying prophecies if a prophet could profit from prophesying prophecies?

                          abra on January 18th, 2016
                          I remember the comments under the other quote. I still got it wrong, but I knew where the error was.

                          killdozer on August 19th, 2016
                          Quizzical, who has ever been correct with predictions?

                          Quizzical on January 23rd, 2018
                          It depends on your timing, Killdozer. I have been about 50% correct in forecasting yesterday's weather.

                          blueladyblue on May 31st, 2018
                          You guys are all weird.

                          mmfs83 on June 12th, 2018
                          I was slow because I prophecied.

                          DrCryptell on September 1st, 2018
                          I prophesy that someday they'll change the spelling of prophesy, the verb, to conform to prophecy, the noun, if for no other reason, to make it easier to solve cryptograms.

                          DrCryptell on November 29th, 2018
                          I phorgot how to spell it.

                          Comment


                          • And then, suddenly . . .

                            "The future influences the present just as much as the past." — Friedrich Nietzsche

                            kb83 on October 6th, 2015
                            Okay, does this mean that the future influences the present just as much as the past influences the present, or that the future influences the present just as much as it influences the past?

                            LLapp on May 5th, 2016
                            Good question. As written it means nothing, because the second verb is implicit but not clearly positioned. It should say either "just as much as it does the past" or "just as much as the past does." Without explicit placement of "does," you don't know which noun -- "the future" or "the past" -- is the actor for it. The translator failed us on this one.

                            LLapp on December 7th, 2016
                            Hold on, I just saw the movie "Arrival" and, to quote the tetrapods, there is no time. What Nietzsche is saying here is that Amy Adams is his grandmother.

                            kb83 on January 9th, 2018
                            He does have her lips.

                            LLapp on May 3rd, 2018
                            How can you tell??

                            imsoeasy on December 23rd, 2018
                            There is no future just as there is no past. The idea of future is based on memories of the past. Sci-fi aside, you only live or die now.

                            jnoodles on February 19th, 2019
                            imsoeasy There is no present. By the time we experience and process something, it is in the past.

                            Roxanne on February 20th, 2019
                            This time it's not the translator's fault. I looked up the quotation, and the original German is "Die Zukunft beeinflusst die Gegenwart genauso wie die Vergangenheit." Notice the definite article 'die' before all three nouns. Just as is the case with 'the' in English, 'die' is 'die' whether the noun it goes with is the subject or the object of the verb. I would like to think of this as ambiguous rather than meaningleÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎÎ ÎÎÎÎÎÎÎR HTIS IS ROKSANS KATT RITING. IM STANDIN ONN HUR LAPPTOPP. BECUZ IM STARRVIN. ITZ BIN 54 MINNITZ SINS I HADD ENNY FUD. WTF

                            Comment


                            • Guillaume Apollinaire

                              "We cannot carry our father's corpse with us everywhere we go."

                              Lily H on May 24th, 2011
                              Why would anyone want to do that?

                              abra on June 13th, 2012
                              Nor would we want to. EWWWW.

                              cellophane on August 6th, 2012
                              morbid

                              momof7 on February 24th, 2013
                              It might start to stink after a day or two.

                              harmiger on May 9th, 2013
                              But we do take his ashes everytime we move

                              gryhnd51 on August 21st, 2013
                              Perhaps "corpse" is a merely a reference to your father's reputation?

                              jnoodles on September 1st, 2013
                              I know exactly what this means and have been doing this since before Dad died. No more. I hope.

                              SippyGirl on September 9th, 2013
                              without context, this sounds pretty gruesome

                              dovid1946 on January 18th, 2015
                              sounds like the idea for a movie- sequel to 'weekend at Bernie's'

                              jval on January 30th, 2015
                              Maybe if we carry his past advice and love, it would be easier to move around.

                              abra on November 12th, 2015
                              I know he doesn't mean this literally, it's just more fun to discuss that way.

                              darkyr on May 17th, 2016
                              I usually just set him outside on the curb when I run into the 7-Eleven.

                              nelnose on May 22nd, 2016
                              Only if he's been cremated.

                              maradnu on January 7th, 2017
                              How about if I have him cremated and carry the ashes? Or would I just be making an ash of myself.

                              Jalapenoman on February 25th, 2017
                              Dad weighed about fifty pounds more than me, so I have to use a wheelbarrow.

                              Old Alto on March 26th, 2017
                              I did for a while, but found it hard to keep a job.

                              letfreedomring on March 27th, 2017
                              gryhnd51 seems to have nailed the meaning of this quote. at least, I agree....

                              LLapp on April 14th, 2017
                              This is what the coat check room is for.

                              kb83 on June 14th, 2017
                              This reminds me of the movie "Little Miss Sunshine", (Abigail Breslin), when Alan Arkin (the grandpa) dies suddenly and they have to take him along in the van to make the Little Miss Sunshine pageant in time. This is one of the funniest movies ever!

                              skeeter on October 20th, 2017
                              Because it would be a lot of dead weight.

                              badbob on May 19th, 2018
                              weekend at bernie's

                              DrCryptell on June 24th, 2018
                              Too heavy unless we use a wheelbarrow, but how could we ride the underground with it?

                              lertsek on June 30th, 2018
                              You could use the diamond lanes on the freeway

                              Comment


                              • (Eureka's post) Roxanne: ROFLMAO!!!!!

                                Comment

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