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  • "Common sense and nature will do a lot to make the pilgrimage of life not too difficult."
    — Somerset Maugham


    sznndenise on September 19th, 2016
    Cotton sense.

    Persephone59 on June 26th, 2017
    No, you're thinking of Faulkner, from the South.
    "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." -- Albert Einstein

    Comment


    • Queethebean Rules Over This One!

      "What we feel and think and are is to a great extent determined by the state of our ductless glands and viscera. " — Aldous Huxley


      pootie49 on March 29th, 2009
      eewww

      maradnu on May 25th, 2010
      Ain't that uplifting and romantic ;-)

      montyb on April 10th, 2012
      The biologist in me really appreciates the humor in this.

      Allen on December 27th, 2012
      Love them ductless glands!

      universalmom on April 15th, 2013
      Nerdy

      kb83 on May 20th, 2014
      You have cute viscera.

      opallady on April 24th, 2016
      It sounds like a line from "the Big Bang Theory."

      abra on August 6th, 2016
      I was going to write just what pootie wrote. Ick, who wants to hear about ductless glands and Viscera? LOL

      LLapp on May 17th, 2017
      So . . . nobody else thought it was hot?

      fishbum on July 26th, 2017
      Name a ductless gland. In case I get back here.

      SippyGurl on October 1st, 2017
      what's all this about duckless lands and mascara? bring the duckies back!

      Queethebean on September 3rd, 2018
      fishbum: I've named it "Carl." Hope that helps.

      Comment


      • "A man of my spiritual intensity does not eat corpses." — George Bernard Shaw

        kb83 on July 28th, 2014
        it takes away your esprit de corps.

        momof7 on August 20th, 2014
        Can you imagine what his breath would smell like? He'd definitely need a death mint.

        RS2 on April 4th, 2016
        Anyone for a pig roast?

        Barnabas on November 28th, 2017
        Not with a fox, not in a box. Not here, not there, not anywhere. I do not eat green corpses Sam I Am, not with bread and not with Spam.

        Queethebean on February 13th, 2018
        Would you, could you in a morgue? Or eat a corpse in Luxembourg? Maybe with a fava bean? Or paired with juicy Soylent Green?

        Comment


        • Those comments are priceless!

          Comment


          • "Your failures won't hurt you until you start blaming them on others." — Unattributed

            saipanwriter on February 26th, 2015
            I hate "don't" and "won't"...

            emtonsti on August 13th, 2016
            Me too salpan

            jnoodles on September 13th, 2016
            Me too and it's both your fault!!!!

            seastar228 on September 17th, 2017
            jnoodles...are you my ex?

            Comment


            • About monkeys

              "Example moves the world more than doctrine. The great exemplars are the poets of action, and it makes little difference whether they be forces for good or forces for evil. "
              — Henry Miller

              jalexica on April 6th, 2012
              monkey see...

              Allen on December 29th, 2012
              Monkey? Si!

              montyb on March 1st, 2014
              Monkey Sea.

              JD_1947 on November 16th, 2014
              So, in other words they void each other out and don't really set an example one way or the other . .

              LLapp on February 26th, 2015
              That photo of Henry looks a little like a monkey -- see?

              phthelen on August 23rd, 2017
              Do.

              oddcouple on December 23rd, 2017
              monkey si

              Persephone59 on March 21st, 2018
              I had some sea monkeys at one time. Also Magic Rocks.

              maradnu on June 7th, 2018
              Monk E? Si.

              lertsek on June 13th, 2018
              Ah, sea monkeys. Marketing at its finest.

              imsoeasy on November 4th, 2018
              Aside from all the monkey's, this is a perceptive quote.

              Comment


              • "I'm not judging people, I'm judging their actions. It's the same type of distinction that I try to apply to myself, to judge, but not be judgmental."
                — Jeff Melvoin

                puzzleme on June 5th, 2013
                To fudge, but not be fudgmental.

                montyb on December 27th, 2013
                Me too, puzzleme.

                LLapp on January 27th, 2016
                "Fudgmental"!!!! What a useful word!

                tgreen517 on May 30th, 2016
                It is hard to live up to fudgespectations.

                mmfs83 on March 18th, 2017
                Now I want some fudge.

                Comment


                • "The feeling remains that God is on the journey, too." — St. Teresa of Avila

                  Queethebean on February 26th, 2013
                  Well, the least he could do is chip in for gas once in a while.

                  Comment


                  • "When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped."
                    — Marcel Achard

                    wvwoman on April 22nd, 2013
                    very funny!!

                    universalmom on May 26th, 2013
                    Yes, that's going a bit far!

                    universalmom on April 10th, 2016
                    monty, weigh in on this one?

                    sexytary on June 1st, 2016
                    hahahaha

                    kb83 on July 18th, 2016
                    I love it.

                    YasmineMK on August 23rd, 2016
                    well the man isnt asking for much lol

                    maradnu on August 26th, 2017
                    Particularly when it is a digital watch

                    writeon on February 5th, 2018
                    Time is an illusion so he must have imagined people looking at their watches.

                    BriddlesBob on April 26th, 2018
                    I wondered who might have originated this OLD joke that 100's of speakers have mentioned during my lifetime.

                    blueladyblue on May 31st, 2018
                    Oh, man, I know what he must feel like. Can you imagine Socrates is giving a lecture to his students, and he catches them checking their sundials? Embarrassing.

                    darkyr on August 2nd, 2018
                    A cloud passes overhead and everyone groans in unison.

                    Comment


                    • Abra wins!

                      "The Greeks by their laws, and the Romans by the spirit of their people, took care to put into the hands of their rulers no such engine of oppression as a standing army. "
                      — Thomas Jefferson

                      puzzleme on April 23rd, 2013
                      I beg to differ with President Jefferson on both counts.

                      LLapp on November 27th, 2014
                      Regardless of his assertion, I just want to point out the President's exquisite mastery of English syntax. That is a truly graceful sentence.

                      thedarylscrew on January 26th, 2017
                      I had creeps and womans.

                      abra on June 26th, 2018
                      Beware of Creeps bearing gifts, and when in wome do as the women.
                      "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." -- Albert Einstein

                      Comment


                      • Monytb gets his wish after DVMJDCPA hustles to a 9 second record

                        "Good things happen to those who hustle."
                        — Chuck Noll


                        montyb on July 22nd, 2018
                        117 seconds for this easy one. Please, someone take my name off the record.
                        montyb on September 10th, 2018
                        Thank you, DMVJDCPA!

                        Comment


                        • "I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires." — Khalil Gibran

                          jnoodles on December 13th, 2016
                          His name would make a good breakfast cereal.

                          MamaB on March 25th, 2017
                          Um, crunchy, protein, low carbs.

                          Nautilus on August 13th, 2017
                          Tons of hidden sugar.

                          skeeter on December 1st, 2017
                          And when the grocer sells that cereal, just think of the Prophet margin.

                          Comment


                          • And the score is: comments 10, quote zero.

                            "The mind moves in the direction of our currently dominant thoughts." — Earl Nightingale

                            Spenser on February 2nd, 2015
                            Talk about stating the obvious, because about our currently dominant thoughts define the direction our mind is moving.

                            kb83 on February 26th, 2015
                            I wonder what he was thinking when he thought this one up?

                            Comment


                            • "The world is divided into people who do things, and people who get credit. Try, if you can, to belong to the first class, there is far less competition. — Dwight Morrow

                              montyb on December 14th, 2018
                              Absolutely, although Morrow borrowed this saying from me.

                              Comment


                              • That fishbum guy is dangerous

                                "Friendship makes prosperity more shining and lessens adversity by dividing and sharing it." — Marcus Tullius Cicero

                                hipgabby611 on August 29th, 2010
                                What he actually said was, 'Friendship makes prosperity brighter, while it lightens adversity by sharing its griefs and anxieties.'

                                darkyr on June 15th, 2016
                                What he probably actually said was more like, "Nam et secundas res splendidiores facit amicitia et adversas partiens communicansque leviores." Crazy Roman couldn't speak a lick of English. What was he thinking?

                                marnita on April 28th, 2018
                                Thanks, darkyr.

                                fishbum on October 16th, 2018
                                Please fix.

                                Comment

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